I was with this guy on and off for 8 years. We went through alot of stuff together, so it's hard to let him go. I constantly think about him and compare him to other men I meet,even though we have been completely broken up for 2 years now. He currently has a girlfriend that he lives with, but tells me "she doesn't mean anything" and that me and him "have a deep connection" with each other. Should I try to be friends with him just in case his relationship fails, and he comes back to me?? Or should I sever all ties with him? It drives me crazy to know he is with someone else, since I still love him. One minute he tells me he would like to try to work on a relationship again with me and the next minute he is acting like a jerk again. Is he just one of those guys that will lie, deny, and never change?
2006-11-29 06:23:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's with another girl ...living with her ... it doesn't mean anything ... yeah right ... he wants you too ... meaning ... he wants to keep jerking you around in case it doesn't work out.
Move on ... you only still love him because he knows how to feed your ego and say what he knows will get you to respond ... he's a liar, a cheat and will never change!!
You wasted 8 years ... don't waste another hour ... just end all ties with him and find out who you are and what YOU want ... good luck!!
2006-11-29 06:26:55 · answer #1 · answered by emnari 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to have his cake and eat it too -- notice he's not breaking up with his girlfriend (because he likes the security), while running her down behind her back, not making a commitment to you (just using vague language about having a "connection"), and switching between hot and cold, stringing you along!
What a LOSER!! How selfish, stupid, and childish of him to think that a strong, self-respecting woman would stand for this kind of behavior! He's obviously NOT a catch, so why would you settle for him (someone who didn't commit over the course of eight years -- I mean, really!!), even wait around for him to come back to you (??!?!!) when there's a man out there who will treat you with respect and love you unconditionally?
It's hard because of your past. But all those things made you who you are today -- NOT the kind of woman who should get suckered into being the part-time "other woman" for a philandering, manipulative jerk. Learn from your past hurts and mistakes, and don't make them again!! You ought to be furious at how this guy is treating you. Get mad, and use that anger to make it easier to get over him.
Don't have it out or explain what you're doing, just STOP talking to him. Don't call him, and don't answer the phone when he calls. Block his email address and IM name. Throw away anything he sends you. Give this guy the final boot, and have enough self-respect to mean it!
Do the right thing! You can do it.
2006-11-29 14:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by jael_hk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds pretty horrible if he'll shack up with a woman, share her home and bed, and then tell someone she means nothing to him. He's not a man to be trusted if he's proclaiming a deep connection to one woman while living with another, and then has the gall to say he wants to "work on a relationship" with someone else! Who needs friends like this??
2006-11-29 14:28:04 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, I was kind of in the same situation. It was hard to move on. But I did, I had to. Now, I'm married to a great guy and am very happy!
2006-11-29 14:27:43 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica_Bessica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
severe all ties. nothing good can come out of being friends. someone always gets hurt and in this case it sounds like its going to be you (again)
2006-11-29 14:26:17 · answer #5 · answered by jenivive 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you know already that he will never change. If you love him for what he is, and can accept that - go for it, be friends, be lovers. But it sounds 'doomed' in the conventional sense. But does convention matter when you love someone?
2006-11-29 14:26:39 · answer #6 · answered by katy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you had kids together
why prolong the pain
Dump him, get him out of your life and out of your mind
He is PLAYING you, he has the best of having TWO and you are letting him do it, it would not surprise me if you have a relationship with him while he is WITH his girlfriend
2006-11-29 14:27:39 · answer #7 · answered by god knows and sees else Yahoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kinda hard to answer that... I'm in a similar predicament and I think because you've both shared so much that it isn't healthy to just "let it go". I think that although you both have moved on, your friendship should be strong enough to know that if you need him, he'll still be there for you. Keep us posted!
2006-11-29 14:28:27 · answer #8 · answered by pushiepeachy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why are you wasting your life waiting for a loser? Does it feel 'safe' for you, knowing that he will never commit to you?
No, I wouldnt bother with him. I'm of the opinion that friendship with an x has no meaning........so, why bother?
2006-11-29 14:27:13 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I try to be friends with my ex it did not work. In our case we were even engaged.
2006-11-29 14:27:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋