help with my son he is 21?

Question

i am lost here, my son is 21? he did not finsh high school, i have four kids three grils and one son all my girls finsh school and one is in college, the other two work, my son is lost. i don't know what to do. my thing was go to school and finsh, and if you don't get a job or get out. i was married for seven years and i divorce and i move in with his real father, we live together for a couple of years and did not work out again. he started to smoke weed with his stepbrother, and his father was dum to that stuff so his brother got away with it.i had enough and move out.my son stayed with him and he kick him out,when he found the weed. but did not here me when i was telling him. now he came to my home with his friend i tried to help them and got sh**on i put them out, i got money taken, stuff missing,my boyfriend was mad. now he is back same stuff did not change. what to do

i know this its is been 5 years and still the same crap, no changes in him he was out two winters and i refuse to let him in,he is 21 i can't pit him in places unless he wants to go.i did all that he just goes from place to place until he is not wanted moves to the next it is like a circle, he don't learn he has more then you can think of where did he get these things people feel sorry for him and then do for him see what i am talking about and kick him out,he was great in school he was a 3.0 kids privet school.he drop out when we went to his fathers and his father has some to do with this because he don't work his 65 year old dad payes his bills,i was hard on my kids, i would not let then run wild, when his father step in he told him not to listen to me, i hate any one with a dic* i want to control.them, i came home from work one day my home was filled with weed smoke i walk to the phone and called the cops,he lift and the cops got him i had to pay for jail he was not 21 sucks

Answer 1

Is he cute?

Answer 2

You son is old enough to make his own decisions. If he can't follow your rules at home and steals from you, then it's time for some "tough love". He needs to grow up, maybe get a little hungry. I know it seems cruel, but as long as the welcome mat is out, he'll treat you the same, and it's obvious to me that you don't need to be treated like that, nor does he need to be an example to your other kids. If you let him get away with that type of behavior, then the other kids will also act like that when they get older. So think things out, don't make any quick decisions. Best of luck to you.............

Answer 3

Dude-go on Jerry Springer..he'll work it out!

LOL-Ok, in all honesty, you're son is rebelling and making choices because he's not driven. These are values you should have instilled in him a long time ago. If he doesn't have them now, you can't do much. My guess is he'll straighten up as time goes by. Just let him sink for a little bit and be there for him when you can.

Answer 4

your son is 21 he made the choice to ruin his life.... it is not your responsibility to fix it for him..... you can not help someone who is not ready to help therself........ tell him I iwll allow you to stay and live with me only when you seek treatemnt for your problems...... If he refuses then the only thing you can do for him is pray that he will remain unharmed and see that he is heading in the wrong direction.... But if you choose to help him an let him stay an things end up missing i would call the police and do the tough love thing... also take in consideration that if your boyfriend an son disagree a fight physically may occur....... he is a grown man it is time for you to stop worring about him and worry about your own life Good Luck

Answer 5

I would throw him and his friend out. Tell your son he can come home when he starts acting like an adult. And people wonder why the next generation is so screwed up. Quit giving them the option to be a lazy bum. Tough love is what your kid needs.

Answer 6

if you love your son, you will cut him off. if he comes to your house univited, tell him to leave. if he's breaking in, call the police on him. he has to learn that you are not only his mom, but a person with feelings and rights.
trust me, i know it's hard, but it's best for him and for you. when he realizes that you're not going to put up with his sh**, he'll come to a point where he needs to take a look at the fact that the person who loves him more than he loves himself, has shut him out, so, he can either to continue on his path to destruction or get help.
you have to be strong right now though. sacrificing yourself is sacrifinc your son.

Answer 7

If it were my son, I would just refuse to have anything to do with him, until he straightened his act up. Until he proved to me that he could act like the man you have tried to raise him to be, you should wash your hands of him. Tough love. It is hard to do, but in the long run, you are doing you and him a huge favor. Good luck.

Answer 8

Kick him out of the house for good !
If you haven't learned by now that he will never do anything for himself unless he has to, you will never learn. You are feeding in to his excuse for not doing anything with his life.
When he gets hungry and cold enough, he will get a job and a place to live.

Answer 9

well u could send him to one of those places that help get rid of their addiction to drugs.