i need a servant of GOD to answer this question.....?

Question

hey everyone.... i need some advice and i want a person of GOD to as this question.... about a month and half ago, i had my husband arrested for domestic violence.... since then i have gone to court and even put a permanet restraining order against him.... the day he was arrested i told them that he slapped me but it wasn't true.... the reason i had called the cops was because he was threatening me and he had slapped me the week before that... i felt so emtionally destressed.... i have to go back to court next month, what should i do? should i tell the judge the truth that he didn't slap me on the day i said he did.... do u think the judge will understand me on why i did it.... or do u think i shouldn't do that..... after everything that happened me and my husband reunited... and now i feel stuck in this stituation.... do u think i can do jail time for telling the truth? how do u think GOD is looking at this stituation......?

Answer 1

You should talk to your attorney.

And woman to woman, God fearing sisters... God doesn't want you to be in an abusive situation. You CAN divorce on grounds of abuse. Legally.

You need counseling. Find a Christian woman's support group or talk to your pastor for guidance. I know it may not seem so bad now, but if he hit you once, he might do it again - you don't want to take that chance.

No one loves you more than God does. Remember that.

Answer 2

God always honors honesty. I strongly recommend you tell the truth in court. This is a messy situation but not beyond repair.

First, what your husband did was wrong. He has no right threatening you, let alone hitting you. God is clear on a husbands role - to lay down his life for his wife. To love and serve and honor and protect you at his own personal sacrifice.

Second, what you did was wrong. You lied to the police. You should have called the police the minute he hit you. That way he'd see the connection between action and consequence. By waiting you've not only lied but harmed your credibility.

I would tell the judge the truth. The judge has probably seen his share of domestic abuse victims and will understand your desperation. Hopefully the judge will order him to get anger management and you both to get counseling. Bottom line, though, the judge will probably have to drop the charges against him because it's a prosecution based on a lie. He also has the option to have you charged and pay for court fees but hopefully he'll be compassionate. Even though you may get fined, it's short term pain for long term gain.

Your relationship with God is harmed by lying. You're better off telling the truth and strengthening your relationship with God than taking the easy path here and distancing yourself from the God that loves you intensely and protects you fiercely.

Answer 3

Did you do it out of retaliation or did you do it because you could not think straight because you were distressed.

First of all, God does forgive anything, and so, I would tell God you are sorry for this and ask for his guidance.

Then, I would carefully write down the real details including the date and time the incident occurred. It did happen, but just on a different date. After that, I would go to the prosecuting attorney and explain the truth. You will feel better and stop feeling guilty.

But I also am concerned about something, You say he slapped you before then and was threatening you. Has he truly changed HIS behavior or is he making promises to you? Please be careful and I hope that he will seek out some counseling. Both of you need to talk with someone who can help you find better ways of dealing with this situation.

I'm by far no perfect Christian, but I do care and I'd like for you to pray about this as well. Then I would ask, do you have a church or someone who attends church you could trust. Get involved with some other people. Perhaps if nothing else, find a discussion group online to talk with other Christian women. I do that and they have been a great source of comfort for me.

I won't say good luck, but I will say that I am thinking about you and hope you can come to peace about this situation.

Answer 4

First, I must say that over 30 years ago I was in this exact situation. I didn't tell the truth and I almost went to jail for perjury. No matter how hard and painful the truth is TRUTH will win out. Explain that there has been repeated abuse and perhaps you were fearful that day in question. While it may be great that you have reunited it is imperative that you both seek marriage counseling. There is some very deep and unsettling issues that are causing the violence. Saying sorry and forgive me just aren't enough. Because of LOVE you would want to get some healing

Answer 5

i am a humble servant of God and also a jail guard so i can give you some advice from a unique perspective.

isn't it written in the Bible; do not bear false witness against your neighbour? it is up to us to do the right thing and not worry about the conciquences.

i see many men in jail who are accused of rap but then the victim keeps coming in every week to visit him which makes me question whether it's true or not. these women by their accusations have destroyed someone elses life.

yes you may go to jail yourself for fasifying your statement to the police. a selfish person would stick to their lie and make the other person suffer. a person who has good morals and character would do the time.

on the day of the trial i would tell the judge what happened that day. it's the right thing to do. you can explain that he hit you the week before and that you were so emotional at the time that you were making rational discisions.

if he gets out of jail i would suggest that you seperate from him before you end up dead. pray for him and insist that he goes to councilling before you get back together. if he doesn't go to councilling then he probably does care about you.

i was in an abusive relationship once which is funny to hear that from a man but it's true and i never hit back or fought back. i can tell you that it doesn't matter what you do, he will never change and the abuse will never stop. your only hope is to go to councilling.

the reason he can hit is because he doesn't value you. if you don't value something like a pet then you will get mad at it. just like someone who will value a car and treat it like gold. or they disvalue their car and treat it poorly. their should be no hierchy in a relationship. it doesn't matter how sorry he is he still doesn't value you as a person (assumedly).

so tell the truth instead of making him do time for your lies. you may go to jail yourself but it's not likely. and even if you do go to jail at least you will have peace with God.

repent of your sin. the word means to turn away from your sin.

but also tell the judge that he did hit you a week ago and also why you lied.

i'll pray that things work out.

Answer 6

the truth is that your husband became violent with you and now you need protection, so the restraining order is warranted. technically he did not hit you that day but you stopped it before it became a pattern of abuse. that is a courageous step and you should be proud of yourself. many women stay in violent relationships and dont seek help or protection out of fear. if you have a lawyer consult this issue with that person. they are required to keep your information private and will not tell the judge the issue. my worry is that if you come clean now, the judge will not only toss the restraining order but may find that you lied in the court of law and sentence you for a crime. the other concern is that if he thinks you lied to the courts, they will be reluctant to draw up a new restraining order or press additional charges if a more serious assault takes place. the God question is tough. i think the most important thing is that God wants to make sure you and your family are safe. you lied about the date - and not about what happened. go to church, speak with a clergy person if you are having doubts. pray for your husband. your the victim here, not him. if it weighs heavily on you try to get a free consultation with a lawyer or visit your local legal aide office that can provide free or low-cost legal assistance.

Answer 7

I am a servant of God and I prayed before answering this question. You should ALWAYS tell the truth. I think if you explain just like you did on here that they will understand. They may fuss at you for lying at the time but they will know that you have a conscience. I do not see you getting jail time for that. The most important thing is that you are honoring God by telling the truth and by getting back with your husband. I have been in a similar situation and it is not easy. You both may need counseling to prevent this from happening again because stress makes you do things sometimes and you need to learn how to deal with it in a better way. I think....I KNOW that God is honored when trying to make your marriage work! He is the one who created marriage. If you put God FIRST in your marriage and in your own life...everything else will fall into place. I would like to recommend a book I just read.. "Love and Respect". We are using this in our marriage and it is helping. Best of luck to you. God bless your marriage!

Answer 8

Definately tell the truth. Make sure you explain why. Having him removed because you fear harm from him is relevant. The fact that he slapped you the week before backs that up. If he is being abusive it will show. Weaving webs now will hurt you in long run. Of course God sees all. You should be more concerned with his thoughts of this than the judges. He is the only real judge anyway. You should pray about this situation and see what your father says you should do, he is all wisdom.

Answer 9

You technically were not lying, he did slap you, however it just was not on the day in question. I come from a family of law officals and judges. Go and drop the charges, it is already in the court system so you may not be allowed. If you refuse to testifiy against you husband they have no case. And law states a husband cannot be forced to testify against her husband. Or go to the DA, explain you worked it out and want to drop the case. You need not go into detail why you are dropping you just want to. I think God wants husbands and wifes to work all things out marriage is not to be taken lightly. If God can forgive HE expects us to. But me as a women I say no hitting for any reason, pray for your husband to have patience, and for God to show him ,that a man should treat his wife like Christ treats his church. If you signed a statement, and lyed that is perjury, so you can say you signed the statement under duress. If you did not sign a statement, their is nothing anyone can do. But Most people who have clean and clear records do not go to 'jail' for perjury, they are given a warning by the court. The court would rather get the case out of the system- then deal with it any how.

Answer 10

I do not even know where to begin. The way your email is reading, I feel as though your husband has been abusive to you before, which makes me want to ask WHY you have decided to reconcile with him. You seem like a relativley smart woman. You know that if has been abusive before, he will be abusinve again. You may reconcile, but the abuse will not stop. You must, must, must, must, get help and get away from him. Please believe me when I tell you, please take it from me, he WILL NOT, WILL NOT, WILL NOT, change. Please, understand that. As for your current problem, yes you can get into trouble for lying, and the judge can throw the book at you for lying, although he probably will understand. DO NOT feel guilty though. He has hit you before and you were in fear, you wanted to cops to take him so that he would not hurt you. There is nothing wrong with that.

If you are asking how I think God is looking at this situation, I can tell you that it is against God's law to physically harm another human being, so your husband is in violation. God loves you and wants you to be happy, he wants you to be safe, he wants you to be able to enjoy this gift he has given you. The gift of life! You cannot enjoy his gifts if you are fearing a beating every 5 min.

You've already gotten an order of protection, and had him arrested. Did it ever occur to you that your snake in the grass husband decided it was n his best interests to reconcile with you so you would drop the charges? Maybe he wants to see YOU go to jail? How can you trust someone who hits you. Love is not supposed to hurt, at least not physically.

Answer 11

I can answer this only by putting myself in your situation. If you and your husband are on good terms have you spoken with him about telling the truth? If I were you- I would. I would tell them the absolute truth: your husband has hit you before, you were emotionally distressed- the two of you were having problems, and on that day he did not really hit you. Tell the judge that the two of you are looking into marriage counseling (which I suggest) and ask if their is some sort of spousal/domestic abuse support group you could join.

I am sure that you love your husband, and he could even be a nice man who happens to have control/anger issues. I think you should work things out with your husband with his emotional issues and be his strongest supporter.
If he hits you hard enough to cause any sort of damage to you Please Leave Him.

But tell the truth. Because if you dont he might not be able to trust you, which will cause more problems between you.
Good luck hon. God bless.