My bf of 3.5 months, whom I love and who loves me, recently told me he found out his ex has started dating again. He said it surprises him that he feels jealous. My bf doesn't have much experience with girls...he's 23 and I'm his 2nd serious girlfriend. He used to be a seminary student, but decided he didn't want to be a priest.
Since then, he's dated his ex (he dated her for 3 years) and me. He says he knows for sure that he loves me. He's even told me he could see us married someday. It's crazy because we haven't been dating that long, but we spend everyday together (we're law students and in the same classes), so I feel like I've known him forever.
Now, however, he's worried that this jealousy might mean he still has feelings for his ex. He said he needs to go home (to MN, we're in VA now) for Xmas and see her to know for sure. I'm worried he might want her back, but he told me last night that was pretty unlikely (i.e. he dumped her for a reason).
Should I believe him?
2006-11-29 05:35:38 · 8 answers · asked by skichamonix515 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's not going back to MN just to see her...he has to go back for Xmas, that's where his family is.
2006-11-29 05:40:08 · update #1
I would say-just keep on being COMPLETELY honest and open with your feelings...COMMUNICATE to him everything. He is YOUR boyfriend now, and you do not have to settle for anything you are not comfortable with. If it hurts you, ask him to put himself in your shoes- you are totally devoted to him, and although he says he is to you-you do deserve the respect of not being put on the back burner to the past...don't forget this.
Feeling jealous is natural, especially over a longterm relationship and not that long ago...it doesnt mean he still has feelings for her in a way that he wants to get back-just that he gave a chunk of his life to her-and naturally it is sometimes hard to move on from that...Just don't let ya'lls relationship suffer from the past.
Good luck, i know thats hard and can be hurtful :(
take care
(and remember YOU are the current girlfriend-THAT is what matters and he should be very careful of this-not to end up losing both of you!)
2006-11-29 05:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're kidding right? you are actually goin to let him go back to see his ex to find out if he's over her or not with out a fight?
if he has doubts he needs to break it off with you....its not fair to you that he said he loved you and you feel the same, then all of sudden decide that he's not sure! i am sorry....but what makes you think that when he goes back that nothing will happen? i mean do you think he is goin to go back there and keep his hands to himself? First he says I need to know and talk to her, then it'll be I am not sure even after i talked to her, so maybe a kiss from her will tell me. then he's still not sure and takes it farther. then comes back to you, says they talked and that its over....how do you know nothing happened? you won't know...
so you need to decide how much you trust him. sorry i am not good at sugar coating this stuff...just to close to the whole cheating subject...
Edit after your update: We know its for xmas, but the point is still that while he is visiting he wants to see her and talk to her to make sure he is over her....doesnt matter why he is goin in the first place....you are the girlfriend now...he needs to move on away from her...why hasnt he asked you to go with him MN, if he sees you gettin married someday?
2006-11-29 13:45:07 · answer #2 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Should you believe him? -- Do you have any choice?
You need to take him at his word. If he sees her and wants to get back with her, so be it. Better now than a year from now, right?
If you put up a fuss and he doesn't go, he'll probably resent you for it, and you'll wonder what would have happened. It's a trust thing -- you have to trust him.
2006-11-29 13:40:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the fact he wants to go back to MN and check her out again puts you in 2nd place in that race. He needs to move forward. Perhaps you need to move on. Good luck, honey.
2006-11-29 13:38:07 · answer #4 · answered by daj11551 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
c if he really likes you like give him some tests to c if hes true to u or to his ex but dont let him know youre testing him
duh!!!!!
2006-11-29 13:38:24 · answer #5 · answered by philip d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when in doubt.... wait for a couple of days
let him realize your value
2006-11-29 13:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by Rukna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he dumped her for a reason.... hello!!! why he need to go back and see her!!!!
2006-11-29 13:41:08 · answer #7 · answered by ~Vale~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is normal to be jealous
2006-11-29 13:38:10 · answer #8 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋