My Dad was 60 when he passed. He was a loving, gentle Dad and husband. He was the glue and the life of our family. Funny, larger than life man. He told me before he passed that he wanted Mom to marry again. But he would like to be "cold" first. (off branded humor) My Mom was always the head strong one while my Dad was the loving, family always first one. Mom distanced herself from us (me and my 3 brothers) after the funeral and started going to the bar alot. Then she came over one day and asked if it was ok if she stared dating. I told her I was uncomfortable with it but I knew she was lonely. She married my Dad when she was 17 and she is 52 now. Well it wasn't a week later when my message machine about blew up. It was my brothers calling to tell me she was moving a guy in. I know my Dad would cringe. Even as adults we were not allowed stay overnight at our parents house w/a BF or GF unless we were married,my moms rule. She knows this is killing us, but doesn't care. Any advice?
2006-11-29 05:30:30 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well tell ur mother if u want to date then marry
tell ur mother do not date with any guy or go with any guy
tell her if she wants a man then she must marrry him first
2006-11-29 05:40:20 · answer #1 · answered by micho 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My dad did the same exact thing. Some people NEED that constant companionship. My parents were together for 25 years when my mom died at 52. My dad remarried less than 1 year after her death. He started dating his now wife about 3 months after her death and moved her into his house about 4 months after her death. It sucks, and I dont like her. But I think of it this way... She makes my dad happy. Something (albeit I have no idea what) about her is appealing to him. Im happy that he is happy. Hope this helps. And PS: he has 27 grandchildren that ask about gramma all the time, He just smiles and tells them all about her and how great she was. Good luck
2006-11-29 05:43:47 · answer #2 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is her way of dealing with the loss that she is obviously feeling. She had your dad for all her life and now she is probably lonely. My aunt (who I live with) waited for six years after my uncle died before dating again. She has no kids of her own.
The guy she's seeing though has 2 kids and he started seeing her about 2-3 months after his wife's passing. He admitted to all that he just could not handle living alone (his 34 yr old unmarried daughter lives with him because she is handicapped and his son lives downstairs with his wife and child).
The thing is some ppl just need someone there with them- not children, neighbours, friends, etc but a significant other.
Also at her age she may be thinking she does not have a lot of time to start over and to regain some happiness.
Just be supportive as you can and be happy for her. I know it seems like a betrayal to your dad's memory, but he had his life with her and now she has 'no one'. Your kids will miss their papa but they will also learn to accept the new guy in your mom's life, given time. Especially if you appear to be supportive as well.
2006-11-29 05:48:15 · answer #3 · answered by stacy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am so sorry for your loss! My husband died in June of this year and I know what it feels like! However, I can't imagine ever seeing anyone else especially now but I guess we all deal with grief in our own ways. Have patience with Mom. I think its almost like a rebound sort of thing and if you can give it a little time and patience, your mother will do the right thing. Be a good daughter to her(it sounds as if you are!)and a good mother to your children and God will help all of you especially right now.
2006-11-29 05:38:57 · answer #4 · answered by phyllis_gene_levy 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry for you. i will in no way think of being on your place, how hurtful it particularly is. Why do no longer you bypass with your acquaintances and people who enjoyed your doorstep dad? acquaintances do particularly help. Is your mom the variety who tries to conceal her grief by throwing herself right into a courting, looking somebody to fill the hollow? then back, maximum would agree which you have others to think of roughly. perchance something would be labored out concerning that.
2016-10-04 12:40:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.... it seems that either she couldn't wait to be free again one day....... or it could also mean that she cannot stand being alone and that she needs someone to numb her pain. People mourn in different ways. Some people do irrational things during time of mourning. She seems to be doing just that. Instead of getting a Mercedes, she got herself a man.
2006-11-29 05:45:06 · answer #6 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's your mom's business but tell her to keep her stud away from your kids. They don't need to get attached to some live-in and then have things break up when your mom gets her head on straight after her greiving. Then your kids would lose again.
2006-11-29 07:21:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best advice...It's HER life, she's earned the right to do anything that she chooses. If SHE feels that it's time to move on, then it's HER choice. She can wait for everyone else to catch up with their grief. If she did, she would die alone.
2006-11-29 05:36:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is probably depressed and going through a phase let her ride it out. You just need to be there for her.
2006-11-29 06:28:23 · answer #9 · answered by 2hot4u 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You already told her you weren't comfortable with it, so she knows how you feel about it. She went ahead and did it anyway. It is up to her whether or not she follows your advice.
2006-11-29 05:37:55 · answer #10 · answered by James Y 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋