My husband does not have a relationship with his family. They didn't even do Thanksgiving this year. I know that it bothers him, but when we go see my family, he has a major attitude and really makes my time with my family hard to enjoy. His mother died one and a half years ago and his father has remarried (which he can't come to terms with) His and his fathers relationship has always been a strained relationship at best. His older brother is jealous b/c we have a stable life, so that relationship is strained as well. To say the least, he is from a disfunctional family. What can I do? He interuupts me if I talk on the phone to my family, rolls his eyes, and talks sh*t about them and says that we act stupid when we get together. I had a fairy tale childhood and still have great relationships with my family members. I only get to see them about five times a year so when I see them, I like to share stories about our childhood. Please help me understand why he acts that way.
2006-11-29 05:10:15 · 7 answers · asked by surelycoolgirl 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Calston- Yes, he was VERY close to his mother.
2006-11-29 05:37:10 · update #1
In my opinion, he doesnt understand what it means to be happy. When he sees you & your family getting along he doesnt know how to act because he may have never experienced that before. In that area of his life, he is miserable & he wants everyone else to be miserable right along with him. The only thing I can suggest is that he gets help with those unresolved issues concerning his family & you should just be there(be supportive) for him when the time comes for him to "open-up" to you about them. I hope it all works out for you.
Im just wondering,
1-Was he close to his mother?
2006-11-29 05:23:42 · answer #1 · answered by SweetPeaz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is. My husband acts the same way about my family. One time my husband got drunk and that is when I found out that he actually envies me for having a close relationship with them. His father left his family when he was 10 and he doesn't have much contact with his mother. The only thing I can say is to try and include him more in conversations or activities when you are with you family. It takes a little time but he will come around.
2006-11-29 13:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by jennyvee413 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He acts that way because he cannot relate to it. You need to explain how his behavior hurts you and get him to participate in your family rituals. You also need to make some of your own. Try not to be too judgmental about his family life or your husband's reaction to his mothers death and father's remarriage, it can be more difficult than you imagine. Seeing your "fairy tale" family may be really painful. Try to be more sensitive and supportive. I suggest not saying outright that you think he is jealous and his family is dysfunctional.
2006-11-29 13:15:23 · answer #3 · answered by Tara P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like he is jealous of your relationship with your family, since his is awful. The only thing you can do is include him when possible and ignore his childish behavior. He doesn't really know how to interact with family as he never had the opportunity to in his. He needs to learn how to deal with family even if they are yours.
2006-11-29 13:15:32 · answer #4 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his experience of family is so directly opposed to yours , he probably doesnt understand where you're coming from at all .You need to explain what you get from your family and hope he starts to understand better. it could take a long time, he's been through a lot.
2006-11-29 13:15:12 · answer #5 · answered by Mr Cynical 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to grow up or its the hi way for him , the **** that he is doing is damaging what you have and it will bite him in the *** some day .Don't put up with it !
2006-11-29 13:22:55 · answer #6 · answered by joel s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he acts that way because he's being a disrespectful jerk. you need to tell him to cut the crap out and grow up. my childhood sucked but i dont act that way. its time for him to let the past go and live for today. he's using his past as a crutch to act that way. dont tolerate it.
2006-11-29 13:15:27 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋