Social Anxiety. PLEASE HELP ME Desperate.?

Question

Please don't make fun of me.

I get very anxious in social situations. I am very shy, and find it hard / hate meeting new people.

I am 22 but have no friends. I had lots in primary school, but lost contact and didn't have any in senior school. 11-18.years old.

PLEASE DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME.

I never go out, and avoid most big social situations. Get very panicky when around people i don't know very well.

Also have massive anxiety about speaking on phone. Can only speak to parents on phone. Last time i called/spoke to someone, other than parents, i was 15.

Please help me. Don't know what to do about this.

Really hate being like this.

Answer 1

ok first of all i will suggest you go to the doc. it will help im pretty sure they have some sort of med that can help i would get anxiety attacks not like yours just....dont know im weird
i guess not in a bad way just lose my temper(very quick) if that explains it better and second of all im guessing you have no problem being online so why not make friends online.....im willing to listen you can email me

Answer 2

The fact that you’re asking this question is a good start now you can start to evaluate your life. I’m in a similar position and same age, things went wayward after school mentally and I began to shy away from the world and in turn lose touch with all my old friends.

Only you can change the situation and I think the idea by one of above posters of getting a dog is fantastic not that I agree with the looking for the weirdest look as any will do though of course you‘re giving a dog a chance of which normally wouldn‘t have one. Though you’re getting out into the open, ‘into’ the world, smile to those who pass you, once you smile and receive a smile your mood will swiftly change, if a conversation breaks out anywhere it’ll often start with the dog, you know the topic so you have nothing to worry about!

Do you have any interests that could also be pursued? Sports, writing, reading et cetera, lots of communities have groups it’s just finding them, sure you may feel lonely and scared about going though these groups are designed for new members without new members many of them wouldn’t survive and soon enough you’ll be a regular.

It's often a vicious circle, you want to meet new people but you're scared, and doubt sets in, but you'll never feel comfortable in a social surrounding until you get out there and force yourself into things. Once you start the ball rolling your whole life will change.

Answer 3

Anyone who makes fun of you is obviously very immature and not someone to worry about.
A lot of people have social phobias and anxieties, including myself for most of my life.
I know exactly how you are feeling right now. Before I felt very nervous if I had to talk to a stranger whether it be at the front door or on the phone. I wouldn't even go into a supermarket alone, take a bus, or go for a walk.
I do reccomend, like another poster suggested, to go to your doctor and tell him/her about it. There are anti-depressants that can help you. I know it sounds unbelievable that a little pill can help but, it does.
After I started taking anti-depressants, I often found myself asking why didn't I go to the doctor sooner?
Another poster suggested getting a dog and I actually agree with that but, for different reasons. I have a dog and she helped me a lot through my social phobia. If I went out for a walk, I brought my dog. I didn't feel alone then. I tried to remind myself, I am not alone, there is no reason to panic, my dog is here.
I know it sounds silly. But, animals can be really supportive. And if you feel nervous then you have your dog to concentrate on and fuss over. If you feel like *everyone* is staring at you then just talk to your dog and give her ear scratches. She'll love it and it will help you to remain calm.
Remember to start off slowly. Don't force yourself into big situations where you will feel uncomfortable. Start with taking small walks around the block. If you feel nervous then go back home and take some deep breaths and try again.
But, first and most importantly, talk to your doctor about it. It is very common and nothing to be embarrassed about.
I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

Get a dog.
That's right. I'm serious. Get a dog. Preferable one with unusual looks but any will do. For instance, adopt a dog from the shelter with an amputated leg. Or get one that's super small and cute, or extra shaggy, or even really ugly. It doesn't matter. Any friendly dog will do.
Walk your dog as much as possible. Go to dog parks. People will walk right up to you and your dog and begin conversations with you. All you have to do is smile. I promise you, you'll fee much more relaxed. I really don't know why it works but it has a remarkable calming effect on people who are stressed or filled with anxiety.

Answer 5

It's hard, too hard to help with here. But it can be beaten.

Paxil helps, as does things like hypnosis, or cognitive therapy if you have health insurance that covers it.

Email me sometime, we can swap ideas and see what may work.

(I have it myself, almost have it controlled.)

Just have faith that it'll get better.

Answer 6

It's not that uncommon, and affects people to varying degrees. Yours sounds quite serious. I would suggest counseling/therapy.

I suffer from it too, but not as badly as you describe. Good luck!

Answer 7

I don't know what to tell you. You are the only one who can fix this. And you have to see a therapist to do it. If you don't want to do that, then there's nothing else.

Answer 8

i actually have this same problem and ever since they put me on paxil it has works wonders it took two weeks to kick in and all but it worked good

Answer 9

i had a very simaliar problem. i finally went and visited a psychologist who perscribed me zoloft. i am soo much better now.