I have Social Anxiety. DESPERATE FOR HELP please.?

Question

Firstly please don't make fun of me.

I am extremely shy, and find meeting new people really hard.
I am 22 and get very anxious in social situations. I hate going out anywhere, and never go to parties etc.
When i was at senior school between ages 11-18, i didn't have any good friends. Have lost contact with them all, and don't have any friends. Please don't make fun of me.

I also have a massive anxiety of speaking on the phone. I can only call parents. Last time i called someone else, i was 15.

Whenever in social situations, i get very anxious, and have panic attacks. Please help me. What can i do about this?

Really need answers. Sorry this is so long.

Answer 1

Ditto to 99999! God does love you! He made you the way you are for a purpose. Seek Him to find out what that is. Moses wasn't good with words, but look what God did with him!

Answer 2

I am in a very similar situation as you. Several years ago I was taking Paxil for social anxiety and it works wonders, you will become a completely new person. One caveat is that you should not take it if you drink. I am not a heavy drinker, I drink maybe once a week, but while I was taking Paxil I drank a little too much and it caused me to lose control, I became very angry, I got into a huge fight, busted up the door at a bar. All of this in front of my friends and family. It turns out this only happens in some people, but it scared me because I had no control over it, so I stopped taking Paxil. I will say that when I was taking it, I wanted to be around people, I loved talking to friends, my heart didn't jump through my chest when the phone rang.

If you are opposed to taking drugs to remedy your problem, I would suggest getting yourself into things that help to boost your confidence, self-esteem, and experiences. If you have great experienced, it gives you things to talk about that others will be interested in. If you have self-esteem and confidence you will not feel so much anxiety when in social situations.

I would very specifically suggest starting with a martial arts course. This is not as much to learn how to defend yourself as it is to get you out of your comfort zone. After about a year of any martial art, you will have significantly more self confidence. The first time you break a board with your bare hand you will feel really good about yourself. I would also suggest a public speaking course and perhaps join ToastMasters or a breakfast networking group. Something where you are forced into public speaking situations but where everyone else is there for the same purpose. These things will make you more comfortable in social situations.

Answer 3

The fact that you’re asking this question is a good start now you can start to evaluate your life. I’m in a similar position and same age, things went wayward after school mentally and I began to shy away from the world and in turn lose touch with all my old friends. Only you can change the situation and I think the idea by one of above posters of getting a dog is fantastic not that I agree with the looking for the weirdest look as any will do though of course you‘re giving a dog a chance of which normally wouldn‘t have one. Though you’re getting out into the open, ‘into’ the world, smile to those who pass you, once you smile and receive a smile your mood will swiftly change, if a conversation breaks out anywhere it’ll often start with the dog, you know the topic so you have nothing to worry about! Do you have any interests that could also be pursued? Sports, writing, reading et cetera, lots of communities have groups it’s just finding them, sure you may feel lonely and scared about going though these groups are designed for new members without new members many of them wouldn’t survive and soon enough you’ll be a regular. It's often a vicious circle, you want to meet new people but you're scared, and doubt sets in, but you'll never feel comfortable in a social surrounding until you get out there and force yourself into things. Once you start the ball rolling your whole life will change.

Answer 4

I have dealt with anxiety and panic attacks. I was afraid to answer the phone for fear it was bad news. I hated social situations and would be short of breath, sweat and shake. I finally contacted a mental health clinic. If you don't have insurance , many clinics will charge on a sliding scale depending on how much money you make if any. Medication and counseling helped me alot and I am now able to deal with anything that comes my way. Also, if you can't afford medications, many doctors will give you free samples, "partnership for prescription assistance" can also help you find ways to get your meds for low or no cost at all. Don't lose hope, call a doctor or local clinic. Anxiety is very common and nothing to be embarrassed about. Good luck!

Answer 5

This is not a funny matter so i hope that people would not make fum of you for it....I am dealing with anxiety and depression right now and ive been puton medications.....ive left my house 3 times in the past 2 1/2 weeks i only answer the phone if it is my mother or boyfriend.....i have gottten the panic attacks and i do get very anxious when i go out into public....please go to a doctor becasue they can help you....you dont have to feel this wway.....im not a a depression med. and 2 med. for the anxiety....and im starting to notice a difference. You can feel better! go to a doctor and they will help that is there job. i wish you the best of luck and i hope everything works out for you. I would really like you to email me and tell me how things go if you choose to see a doctor. my email is on my page here.

Answer 6

I am very anxious in social situations though I try to put on that I am not. I rarely speak a word amongst any group larger than 5. I'm sure that many people think I am very strange. I don't want drugs and I don't want to admit that I have some kind of problem, why don't you do yourself a favor and be a little smarter than me and get some help. But try to avoid any drugs if you can. And also avoid the God delusion these weirdos are pushing on you. But good luck.

I would suggest finding your own way to defeat the problem. I think I would be able to but I am lazy, maybe that is just me fooling myself again. It would probably be wise to talk to an "expert".

Answer 7

Hi. I feel for you. Social anxiety is very real and it's true that a lot of people don't understand the anxst that comes along with the disorder. Meeting people will seem to extremely hard since your anxiety occurs in social situations, but here are some tips that have helped me overcome shyness or anxiety in social situations.
1. The internet is a great tool. Start collecting internet buddies.
a. Join internet clubs that interest you.
b. look for internet groups local to you.
(I'll be your email buddy if you'd like just contact me)
2. Once you get to know people through talking on email it will be easier to make the next step if you want to meet.
a. It's okay to let people know once you've become familar with them you're shy & no good in social situations. That way you can make planstogather to lessen your anxiety when you meet.
3. Teach yourself how to make small talk. Make a metal list of things to say to the people you see every day. The people you work with. If you see the same person at the coffee shop every day- say hi and introduce yourself. There are lots of safe topics that get people talking. The weather - what you saw on t.v. last night. If someone is holding a book , refer to that. Compliment people if someone has on a shirt , jacket or shoes that you like . All of these things are conversation starters.
4. If you're anxious about making phone calls have the person call you. Tell people when you speak to them in person or on voicemail to call again (at certain time to reach you so you don't have to deal with returning calls.)
5. When you do go out try to keep your group small (5 peole or less.)
6. You only need to make one really good freind who will be your trusty side kick and help introduce you to others.
7. Have your parents help you connect with extended family members like cousins and friends you grew up with. Someone you've known most of your life can become a great freind even if you weren't that close growing up.

Moving outside your comfort zone will be hard but don't give up. Having fullfilling connections and realtionships with others are worth it. Good luck. email me if you'd like to chat.

Answer 8

I would suggest seeing a doctor and getting on some meds for it. I also have social anxiety and I also have panic attacks. They can be very debilitating. I take meds for it and with them I am able to at least go grocery shopping and take my children to the doctors and such. Good luck I hope you feel better soon. BTW... If you want a friend who understands my email is [e-mail]

Answer 9

I can relate. Seek help. Talk with your doctor and get referred to a professional, probably a psychiatrist. They can direct you to a counsellor and eventually group work. It really helps. You may need medication for a while but in the end you will have a happier life.

Answer 10

try to renew your mind with new thoughts it might take a long process but this is what that can help u further.u should try to biuld and lokk inside u how develpo the strong way otherwise u have tolrate all the time. or get some reiki therapy done from india.bye take care.