Well, here it goes. I am pregnant. I was originally scheduled to give birth on Friday Dec 8. My husband made plans with his job to take the days from the 8th to the 12th off. Yesterday, I had to go in for a doctor's appt. He always goes with me, but he is out of town due to his job, so I went alone. The doctor informed me that this would be best if scheduled for Dec 6. Personally I think the doctor had things to do on the 8th, but hey it's too late now to change doctors. So, I called my husband and told him about the change. I want nothing more than to have him there with me when I am giving birth. He now thinks I did this on purpose because we had been fighting and is acting like it's all my fault he might not be able to be there, because he might have to be out of town for that day. What should I do? I have about a week before I go into the hospital and I am feeling really depressed with all this, plus the stress of having the baby
2006-11-29 04:25:17 · 12 answers · asked by prettyrockangel 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
You poor thing. I feel some sympathy for hubby too. He is probably struggling to come to terms with the fact that having a baby is out of his control. He might be freaking out about impending fatherhood and this is the way it is showing up.
Bottom line: medical decisions should be made to benefit you and the baby, not his work schedule OR the doctor's work schedule.
For your own peace of mind, ask the doctor why the date was changed. If this is a c-section you might have been bumped from the operating room schedule. At least you will know why it was moved and can explain to hubby. If it is because the doctor got a cheap fare on a trip to Aruba, you can raise holy hell with HIM.
Hubby should also talk to the folks where he works and see what can be done to fix his schedule so he isn't traveling for a few weeks. What if you went into labor in the middle of the night? would he get on a plane the next morning and leave you in labor?
His office needs to be more flexible, the doctor needs to explain more and YOU need someone to deal with all this crap.
Final thought: Call your best girlfriend or mom and sic them on all of the above people and read them the riot act.
Best wishes for a safe and pleasant delivery.
2006-11-29 04:37:18 · answer #1 · answered by bookmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should stop being such a jerk! This is his child he should be there for the birth even if it means quitting his job to be there!!! Your child is only born once, he won't get a second chance to be there, he should move things around so he can be there for the birth. Also he should stop blaming you for this, it is in no way your fault that your doctor changed the date. It is not good for you to be feeling depressed or stressed out, you should be filled with happiness and joy that next week you will get to meet your child!! You need him there for this birth also, husbands provide great emotional support during labor, even though yours is being a jerk right now, you will need him there and he will regret it if he isn't. Good luck to you, your husband and your baby!
2006-11-29 12:39:49 · answer #2 · answered by Busy Mommy of 3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you being induced or something? Unless there is a medical reason, babies really shouldn't be scheduled, they are not lunches or doctor's appointments. Babies are supposed to cook till they are done, not till it's convenient.
Why don't you just let nature take it's course instead of planning around the doctors golf schedule?
2006-11-29 12:32:47 · answer #3 · answered by wyllow 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel for ya! I think your doctor should personally call your husband and explain the change! I know that is probably unrealistic but did you specifically talk to your doctor about the ramifications of changing the date? He may have a OB partner who could fill in, if it doesn't matter to you. Good luck!
2006-11-29 12:36:09 · answer #4 · answered by cjm 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unless the scheduled delivery is for medical reasons, it should not be done. I don't understand convenience deliveries.
If your husband thinks you are doing this on purpose and is mad, where is the trust in this marriage?
2006-11-29 12:33:52 · answer #5 · answered by KathyS 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it is up to you. if the docotr thinks that the 6th is better, then go the 6th. If you want the 8th then tell your doctor. You can't really plan a birth though. It could be the 4th and you would have nothing to say of it. just do waht you want.
2006-11-29 12:29:47 · answer #6 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be more understanding and not blame you for this because it isn't your fault. Maybe he is just really stressed about the new baby coming and thats why he took it out on you.
2006-11-29 12:30:17 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
babies come when they are ready to be born, not when it the most convenient for us...he has to grow up and get over it...I would honestly be offended if my husband thought I was that spiteful as to change the delivery date because we were fighting...he is your husband and you both must get this sorted out before your baby is born! He has no right to be mad at you for somethign that is beyond your control...
2006-11-29 12:45:18 · answer #8 · answered by nackawicbean 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's being irrational. It's not like you ASKED the Dr. to change the date. He'll get over it. And he'll find a way to be there. Honestly, he really shouldn't be traveling that close to your due date! when you're 9 months pregnant, anything can happen - including you going into labor naturally!
2006-11-29 12:28:53 · answer #9 · answered by Cara M 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would say cancel the scheduled delivery and let that baby come when it's ready and then your husband won't be able to be mad at you because, BABIES COME WHEN THEY ARE READY, NOT WHEN IT IS MOST CONVENIENT FOR US.
2006-11-29 12:31:29 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. Wizard 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋