I'm not sure if I should go to my boss's mother wake/funeral. Never been to this in US :( Isn't it just for family/relatives? I'm working for him for 5 years now, seen his mother may be couple times. I've sent flowers with a note to funeral home, should I still go?
Thanks so much for your help!
2006-11-29 04:19:51 · 15 answers · asked by Fire C 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
He called yesterday to find out how things are in the office and also said that everything is already arranged for his mother's funeral. I asked for the name of the funeral home, so that I can send flowers and he started telling me directions on how to get there street by street....and then said name of the funeral home & their official address.
I guess it's invitation?
2006-11-29 04:31:39 · update #1
Definitely, go to the wake, which you can leave if you get uncomfortable. If possible, also go to the funeral. You may get a hint from your boss about that when you go to the wake.
Believe me, it is the physical presence of people, whether acquaintances, friends, or family that stays in a grieving person's heart.
2006-11-29 08:01:07 · answer #1 · answered by woman of faith 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the wake, but not the funeral. If you might feel uncomfortable, take a coworker or a spouse or an older family member. Honestly, older folks are sometimes more comfortable going to these things because they know and understand the ritual and have gone to them before. I always found it easier to ask a grandparent to go (or if it was a funeral in the family to remain by a grandparent) because they understand what is expected and appropriate.
My family is Irish-American and sometimes when a person on that side of the family dies, they still do a more traditional wake, but not in the home. People my mother's age in the family would not be uncomfortable with everyone coming to the funeral, but people my grandparents' age sometimes expect the funeral to be private and the wake to be a time for people to gather and remember. My Jewish friend who lost her mother to cancer at a young age (we were just in high school) found a lot of comfort in a similar ritual. It might feel weird at first, but it is totally acceptable to say "I didn't know the deceased very well, but I work with her son/daughter and I am here to support him/her." When my step-grandmother died, my stepdad's coworkers came and I know he really felt their support.
2006-11-29 12:27:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree it depends on your relationship with your boss, how close you are. You seen his mother a couple of times was it at his home or at the office. Funerals are for family/relatives and friends. It means a lot to people to see family, friends, co-workers at a funeral of a love one. I hope that helps.
2006-11-29 04:28:05 · answer #3 · answered by Stillplayinggames 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that if you have a close working relationship with your boss, then you should at least make an appearance. Just a brief visit, and saying how sorry you are for his loss is always appreciated. Funerals, unless specified in the obituary, are attended by both friends and family. Most people are grateful for any kind of comfort and support at that time. It was very nice of you to send flowers, also,
2006-11-29 04:43:38 · answer #4 · answered by Starscape 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My grandfather kicked the bucket some months in the past. My daughter who's 4 became very very close to to him to boot as my cousins' little ones a at the same time as 10 years to newborn. all of them, 10 complete, were on the funeral and family contributors visitation. My grandfather's casket became not open in the course of the church provider and became in a separate room in the course of the visitation and that i kept my daughter from seeing his body. i imagine this is thoroughly perfect for little ones to move to a funeral. that's a time to celebrate a existence and what extra powerful way than to confirm little ones round their family contributors. it is also a threat to describe to the little ones about lack of existence and what has got here about to their uncle. there is also the reasoning that many situations households can't continually party to visit regularly and at funerals households favor to seize up and observe how the little ones have grown. no one is going to be traumatized. people will appreciate seeing the little ones. loosen up a touch, in case you pick now to not carry your little ones it rather is as a lot as you, in spite of the indisputable fact that that's faulty of you to inform somebody else what they ought to do with their little ones.
2016-11-27 21:23:08 · answer #5 · answered by puccinelli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go to the wake just to pay your respects. You don't have to stay long (like maybe an hour.) The funeral would only be for family so you should not go to that.
2006-11-29 04:30:50 · answer #6 · answered by Penguin Gal 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just go to the funeral.... not as a relative but as a friend who just want to pay respect and also to comfort someone
2006-11-29 06:07:22 · answer #7 · answered by boo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wake My Boss
2016-12-10 19:58:59 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you have done the right respectful thing by sending flowers and and a note ......you may go to the church if you wish , the funeral home is for close people .......if you got instructions on how to get there ? please go , and stay very discreet ,on the back part away from family members ...........
2006-12-04 08:43:29 · answer #9 · answered by HJW 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could go to one or the other, but sending flowers is appropriate also, he knows you were thinking of him in time of need. It is not limited to family, it is appropriate for any person who knew the deceased or family member of to attend.
2006-11-30 06:04:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋