My wifes' best friend is gorgeous. How can I get them both into bed....?

Question

....ding plants. I am a keen horticulturalist and I think they'd both enjoy the fruits of their labia, errr.... sorry Freudian slip, labour when their little buds swell up and their petals spread etc etc etc....

Funniest response gets 400 bonus points.

Answer 1

400? Promises, promises...Over how long? Do not offer what is beyond your ability to perform. Your roses must be swelling with indignation and disappointment at having to share the points.

Your interpretation of Community Service is interesting, to say the least. I would snip such esoteric practices in the bud before the rot sets in.

Answer 2

First of all, be clear on your horticultural tastes. For example, do you prefer a full bush or tasteful topiary?

Then you need to set boundaries as to how you would mow the grass. Do you prefer a ride-on mower or would you prefer to use an electric?

Don't forget, looks are not everything. Any Tom, Dick or Harry can buy flowers ready-made from the garden centre and just stick them in. They might actually be really dirty and rotten underneath (but again, some people might like that).

Finally, don't forget to give everything a damn good watering. You could even use dung as fertilizer depending on your outlook.

Good luck, I hope you have a truly herbacious border.

Answer 3

Ha Ha, cute...I was ready to blast you with the sins and expectations of the fiery gates of hell...but...since its about plants...leave the labia alone - the little buds will swell with pleasure and the petals will spread without your help...just make sure there is lots of moisture on the buds to avoid pain from dryness - will prevent/delay the climactic explosion of the seedlings...

Answer 4

So, I'd love to be able to rate the responses some other people have given. They're great. Including the ones that think your a jerk.
It's only going to work if your wife is crazy.

Answer 5

h0rn3y m0f0 wh0 lik to check out his wifeey's best friend thats pathetic... but if u reely wanna.. add a bed subtract the clothes divide the legs and prey you dont multiply... or of course if you wanted to multiply, then dont use a condom... make sure if you dont that you buckle up before the ride.... but im getting off topic.. how can u git them both into bed. i'll write a screen play. your man your wife is se
and her best friend is xy.
"Se,xy! come over here!" says man.
"What Man?"
"I would like to water you with my man juice,"
"Oh Man, you make me explode with fire"
"Soon you'll be exploding with your flower juice"
"And Xy, your flowers going to be so filled with my man juice youd not feel like fertilizing until next year"
"Oh Man, i feel like spreading my bud's"
"May i have the honors?"
"Sure"
then you spread se,and xy's buds stick in your buzzer and put in your huney and make sure you dont hurt them... I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!

Answer 6

Multiple orga--
--nisms in a small plot can be quite rewarding. HOWEVER beware as over cultivating can destroy the whole bed.

Cross pollination is also hazardous to attempt if inadequate stamen-a is present.

Weed can also be beneficial for many horticultural activities.

Good luck! (my sympathies to your wife ... and her friend). :)

Answer 7

It will be work, but rewarding. Have a trusty spade -- you need to make a soft bed first of all. Then apply fertilizer as freely as you can.

Answer 8

Well, now I would clip off her panties..i mean petals and sprinkle them all over the bed and invite them over to inspect your parts...

Answer 9

i advice that you snip the hose on the bud. dont encourage cross polination of any kind. i advice your wife to weed out her garden.

Answer 10

you need 1green house 1seed box! and some baby bio ...and a lot s of luck.Failing that try Ann Summers !