What can I do?

Question

I've been seeing this guy for almost a year now who I knew had a girlfriend back home in Brazil.

He has now decided that he has had enough of this country and wants to move away which is fair enough, but he is also still commited to her and still feels strongly for.

I know how it sounds, like he just wants his cake and eat it, but I have fallen for him so much and I know he has for me but feels that he has to keep his promises to his girlfriend which he shouldn't have made in the first place.

I know that she is bad for him and only wants mone and an easy life, which is understandable as life there can be quite difficult, but he doesn 't realise this.

How can I make him see that he would be so much better off with me someone who would love him for him and make him stronger and treat him the way he should be treated because he really is a great guy, he's my soulmate.

Please don't say just move on, I just need him to see what he is leaving behind and help him make the right choice

It has nothing to do with ego at all.....I know enough about her and I do love him enough to let him go but I just really don't trust her, nobody does I'm scared that he is going to ger really hurt and if he does, of course I'll be there for him, I just wish he could see.

She probably does care about him alot, but her intentions are debatable

Answer 1

You can not force him to see. It goes to the old saying..If you truly love him...let him go. Hopefully, he'll then with a clear mind feel the lost of you and also realize that she is not the one.

Answer 2

Oh, Please... My Dear Girl, what in the world makes you so sure that "he would be so much better off" with you? Clearly you are forgetting that 1. You don't know her or anything about her especially her reasons for being loyal to the boy in question... and 2. Her commitment to him may very well be a product of her culture and relig. of which you know nothing. Perhaps he knows that her values are more in line with his own and that they can both be much happier together in the long run than you and he. Sorry to be so harsh. If you are willing to let him go with some grace and understanding (and less ego) perhaps he'll get home and find that his new bigger eyes on the world (his new perspective having lived here and having gotten to know women like yourself) see the old girlfriend in a new way entirely. His home country/home town may no longer seem like the place to be either... So back off and find something to do while you wait this out...or someone else to be with. Whatever it takes to let go, DO IT ! - because it will take quite awhile for him to realize he wants anything other than what he's after now. You have nothing to hope for unless you have the capacity and patience to wait for him to maybe or maybe not come back to you. Good Luck, U need it eh?

Answer 3

Since you really don't want someone to tell you that you are being stupid for trying to hang on to a guy who is a cheater, then I won't tell you that.

First of all you can't make someone stay with you because you want them to. Let him go and by doing that he might see that he left the best thing for him behind and come back. If not then it was not meant to be in the first place.

Just remember he cheated on his girlfriend in Brazil with you. Who is to stay that if he stayed with you that he wouldn't cheat on you with someone else.

Look twice before you take the leap.

Answer 4

i know this might not be the answer you are looking for but still i just need to know why you would go out with a guy that you knew in the first place is dating a girl in the country that you dont even live in but if she just wants him for his money then try to explain to him that thats all she wants and that you love him for who he is and not for his money or how he looks or all that because thats not what matters in a relationship what matters is personality and understandingness and other stuff though some girls might say hey but looks in a guy are a plus. what im trying to get at is that explain to him about how you like him for you.

Answer 5

well i would lie if i said i know how u r feeling coz i dont.. i haven't been in ur situation be4. but u say dat he wanted to go back.. and since he dont like beein in da country he is now.. i dont think dat gonna change. and if it did.. let it be from him.. that it comes from him and he tells u he wanna stay instead of getting guilt over u made him stay when he didnt want to.. and about u fall for him. is also hard. i mean coz now he is thinkin to go back. wot i think is good u need to meet up u 2.. and talk about things carefully. and if u bough gonna regret da choice u bough gonna take..
Think twice be4 u act. So u dont regret it.
Good luck

Answer 6

sometimes people can't see the forest for the trees. Make sure he knows how you feel and see if he feels the same way. If he does then you can work through anything, if he doesn't then you may bee setting yourself up for true heartbreak. Good luck

Answer 7

well what kinda promises did he make his girlfriend? to marry her? and also looking at the way he is reacting to this situation... i think it's best for him to decide what he should do... and if he picks you then your lucky if he doesn't then he didn't think you were his soul mate.

Answer 8

Keep youre line open! See what heppened!

Answer 9

sweet heart, it is not for you to "make him see" that you are the one for him~ perhaps he doesnt deserve you!!!