fostering ???

Question

My sister is having a baby she is 22 weeks gone. She wants to have an abortion because she doesnt have a job and doesnt think she can look after it. Is there any possible way that i can foster the child for her for a bit after it is born so that she can sort herself out ? She doesnt really want to get rid of it , she has said that she just doesnt know what to do? Would the authority let me foster it , I am 20 i have a good job and i live in a good area by myself ? Please if anyone knows about this or have been in a position like this please help !

Answer 1

I don't see why there's any reason you can't look after your sister's kid for her. Social Services may get involved to check that there appropriate conditions for the child to live but other than that you shouldn't have to go down the fostering route. Speak to your local social work department for more advice. Good luck.

Answer 2

Your sister can assign you guardianship over the baby until she is ready to care for the child. Most states don't require anything when a placement is made within a family, unless the authorities get involved and were to take the baby for neglect, then you would have to show them you were an appropiate choice. But since that isn't the case, she has the right to place the baby in good care with you if you are up for it. Be careful my dear, as it is very easy to become attached and not want to give them back. I am a foster parent and I can tell you, its hard work, but VERY very rewarding. I think you are a super sister to try and help your sister to cope and taking on her responsibility for her until she is able. Please contact some local agencies to see if you can secure some financial help (wic, food stamps and so on) to help care for the baby if your sister in unable to do so, although sometimes, if thats the case, the state can require additional things of you. Where will the baby be while you work? Who will care for the baby when you have a date? School? So on. Will your sister contribute to the baby's needs (diapers, formula, furniture, financially?). Will she visit? If so how often and when? How long will you keep the baby before she needs to make a decision? How will you transition the baby back to her after that time? You should be prepared to have your sister think about things too, after all, once the baby is born, she may or may not want to have the baby back and how will that be handled? Ask up front to avoid problems later. My dear, I wish I knew you personally, you sound like a lovely girl and I think you are doing a wonderful thing for your dear sister. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

I think your sister needs to talk to someone. She may just need reassurance that she can do it, it seems a bit strange though to let the pregnancy progress to 22 weeks before doing anything about it. You need to think long and hard about whether you could bring up a child that isn't yours. Some might say that you are giving your sister the green light to go around having unprotected sex while other people deal with the consequences. It isn't for me to judge as do not know your sister or you. Also you need to realise that if you are able to foster the baby you will have to give up work. Something like this could put a serious strain on you and your sister's relationship. You might even end up having the baby permanently as she might never feel equipped to deal with a child of her own. If she misses the first few months with her baby then this could make it very difficult for her to build a bond with it. She was responsible enough to make the baby so now she needs to be responsible enough to deal with the consequences. But whatever she decides to do, it should not be up to you to pick up the pieces of her life. Sorry if this sounds harsh but what you are contemplating is a hell of a lot harsher. Good Luck to you and your sister x

Answer 4

Call you local Health and Humans Services and get set up to take fostering / parenting classes so that you can become certified to do so. Explain the situation to them and possibly an attorney. The child will become a ward of the state and you will be the sole caregiver. But, yes it can be done and in the event that she decides that she doesn't want to raise the child, then you could be inline to adopt! What a great person you are for wanting to help your sister! Fostering is a wonderful thing that I think everyone should try at least once!

Answer 5

My sister fell pregnant and could not look after her daughter, when she was born. We were told that someone in the family would need to care for her child or she would be adopted out of the family. There was no way we could let that happen so i decided that i would look after her with help from my mum.
I was advised to get a residence order which means that i am legally her primary carer but my sister still has parental responsibility. I had to be assessed by social services for quite some time which wasnt very nice but i had to do it as standrd procedure. It was very difficult in the beginning as my sister was grateful for what we were doing but she was also very resentful. We originally thought that we would care for her daughter till my sister recovered from her problems and then my sister could take her back. But my sister will never be well enough to care for her daughter. That took a long time to register that i will have her forever but, my niece is now 4 and a half and everything is great. If im totally honest, although i know my sister will not be able to care for her, it would break my heart if my sister took her back!
I have had my niece for 4 years now but i formed a bond with her very quickly! You need to really think about this and nothing can prepare you for how you or your sister will feel or what might happen. Its great that your thinking about doing this but just be aware that i don't think it will be plain sailing. Good luck !

Answer 6

22 weeks is very late for an abortion, she has only two weeks before the procedure will be refused. If you have a good job who is going to look after the baby while you are at work? Can you afford childminders? Or would your mum help? Is she just out of work or is her life in more of a mess (drugs, debts etc)??? If your sister is in this situation will you be happy for her to see her baby, when you're supporting it? that sounds like a stupid question but looking after the child will be a strain for you and you might end up resenting her and that she can have a more carefree lifestyle and more freedom than you. Please think of all your options, I think it is amazing that you would want to do this for your sister but you are very young yourself and it's not fair for you to ruin your career to help your sister. The law won't stop you from fostering her baby unless the baby's father or either set of grandparents go to court for custody (then they will decide who is in the best situation to look after the child.) but for the sake of your relationship with your sister and your own life please consider having the child fostered to a family, it will work out so much better for all 3 of you in the future.

Answer 7

Of course you can after the baby is born there is nothing that says you can't look after the baby for her.Just be on the safe side and have her put into writing that she is giving you temporary custody of the baby and have it notarized. I would suggest though that if she intends on keeping the child that she come over at least once a day to bond with the baby. Another option would be to look into adoption. Taking care of a baby is really a full time job. And keep this in mind you will have to reconfigure your budget. Diapers alone will cost you at least 30 a month on top of formula and all the other little things a baby needs. Good Luck!

Answer 8

If your sister doesn't have a job, where is she living? Is she living with you? It would be easier for you and her if she would stay with you for awhile, especially after the baby is born. She would be in closer proximity to the baby and this might help her to adjust to having the baby if she knew that she had you as part of her support system. I would not even get the authorities involved (unless she is getting state aid) because there is alot of red tape and I feel that you should not take the chance that they will put the child in foster care. Once a child enters the system it is very hard to get out of it. Is the father in the picture? If he is, what is his opinion or doesn't he know or care about it? There are alot of different points of view to look at about this situation. If you are willing to help your sister in her time of need, you are the most caring and loving sister. But remember, once you start down this road there is no turning back. Have you brought this situation up with your parents? The reason I'm asking is because my two granchildren were "officially placed" with me and my husband for a period of two years. We have grown so close to them that we consider them "our girls" . It was so hard when they went back to there parents. It was a very hard adjustment to all of us, but we could not see strangers taking care of our "flesh and blood". Also, in our state, grandparents have no rights, so we wanted to be able to see them ourselves.

Answer 9

I think fostering your have to go through an agency, but you can look after the child if yur sister needs you. If you go the official way, then it might be a bit more difficult. I lived with relatives for a while and it was fine.
I think it is a wonderful thing that you look after your sister and her unborn baby, I wish you all the best! :)

Answer 10

God bless you. What a wonderful person you are. This is a guess, but call your County's social service office or health department to see if you can get some type of financial assistance. This happens all the time in families. I would think your agreement could be informal or formal with your sister--with our without legal papers. However, there may come a time when your sister wants the child and that could be heartbreaking for you. For me, it would be worth the chance. If you adopt the child, she's yours forever, but your sister would have to waive her parental rights. God bless you and all of those involved.