Intimacy Issue?

Question

My boyfriend really really wanted to have anal with me at the weekend so I let him. It didn't hurt at all but I felt dirty afterwards, I told him how I felt and he said that that was normal to feel that way after the first time and that we should do it again and I would feel better. So last night he was over at mine we did it again, this time it was a little bit sore (I think I was tense) and he said that was normal too. He was spanking me and telling me that this is how it was supposed to be done and he was really boaring into me, he was very excited shouting out that he loved me and my black a-ss and he was really grinding me. He came inside of me and I was concerned about that too. I know this sounds disgusting and I am sorry but I needed to tell someone I can't talk to anyone else I feel ashamed. He was so into it and I'm really not. How the hell do I tell him without hurting his feelings? I am 19, he is 23 we've been dating for 3 years and have been sexually active for a year now.

Answer 1

the best way out of it is to say to ur bf that if wants to proceed in doin this u feel its only fair that u try it wi him but using ur finger/s n if he mont let u then just say its only fair that he stops doin it to u.
if that fails then tell him its really started hurtin u n if he loves u that much he shud respect wat u want n stop.

GOOD LUCK HUN
let me no wat he says if it aint worked then ill av a re think. xxx

Answer 2

Just tell him the way you feel and how it makes you feel. The pressure is on I know because he's your boyfriend and I guess you feel you have to. It can be a pleasurable experience for some but not for others. If you physically don't like doing it then don't, if you don't want to do it emotionally, if it makes you feel ashamed, then don't do it.

I am sure that many people will tell you the same as I am about too... its your body, not his, he don't own you, you decide and there is truth in the saying "if he loved you" then he wouldn't if you asked him not to. If he replies "if you love me, you would" then agree to it on the proviso that you can should a marrow up his ****... good luck

Answer 3

What you described is absolutely normal - IN BRAIN DEAD PORNO FLICKS ORIENTED TO MEN INTO CONTROL - there is nothing inherently wrong with anal, it is a matter of personal choice. There is something wrong with a guy who wants to ride you like a horse when you are not into it. Don't beat around the bush - let him know what you want or like. If he says bye, as bad as it may feel for awhile, you are better off without him, because some day he may get into much more control and you end up in a hospital. Good luck.

Answer 4

Listen sweetie, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Some women love anal sex some women don't and remember it's your body and you are in charge. I would certainly sit down with your man who you clearly love and who obviously loves you to want to be this intimate with you. If you feel you want to allow him to pleasure you in such a way, I noticed another member suggested using fingers, maybe you could both compromise and enjoy it together without you feeling bad about yourself. Remember the anus is full of nerves and is part of the sexual organs so it is regarded as taboo but I think probably at least 80% of couples nowadays indulge in a little anal play of some sort. I hope this helps you sweetie. Good luck with your man.

Answer 5

You should never do anything you dont feel 100% comfortable with. Ok you gave it a try and your just not into it. You have to tell him the truth that its really not doing anything for you, maybe ul feel different in a few years but for the moment tell him you dont want to try it again! If he reallys loves you he wont pressure you to do something your not keen on.

Answer 6

You need to be honest with him and let him know that you dont enjoy this. After all sex is supposed to be an intimate time between two people and they are both meant to enjoy it! You should tell him that you have let him try it, you've been open minded but it just isnt for you. He should understand hopefully - you shouldnt be made to do anything that you dont feel comfortable with.

Answer 7

perchance you've been in the appropriate second, yet likely no longer with the appropriate guy. there'll be a time at the same time as it purely sounds like the most organic ingredient in the international. once you're there, you'd be taking into consideration ways sturdy you experience and how much better you want to do for the guy to make him experience as sturdy as you experience. once you're close to to the guy, emotionally, then enable him recognize you're frightened. He might want to be doing better to make you experience smooth, and backing off until eventually you're waiting. do not enable your self get guilt-tripped into the bedroom. believe ME. you'll finally end up giving a 0.5-a**ed performance and wishing you've been everywhere else. completely no longer properly worth it.

Answer 8

Be honest with him and tell him that you don't like it. You guys should be comfortable enough to talk about it. Maybe do it every now and then if he likes it a lot but tell him how it feels and how bad it hurts you. He should stop knowing that he's hurting you.

Answer 9

Just tell him you your not enjoying it, at least you tried it. I said no out right to my boyfriend. Also you should of use a condom, it very easy to get an infection in that area.

Good luck

Answer 10

I like nothing better than a bit of anal, ooh just the thought of it works me up! But if you don't like it then don't do it.