am I wrong for being this way?

Question

I am natually a quiet person. I do talk but not much. Most of my friends say that it's ok to be quiet , but they just do not know what it going on in my head. My boyfriend finds this annoying because at times he would ask me things that I do not feel compelled to answer because I am too shy and other times i just want to hear him speak and not say anything. It's getting really annoying because I really want to say something but nothing comes to mind. Also whenever anyone is speaking, I tune out not realizing this and i offend the person. Im trying my best to tell them that i will try to talk more but some friends get annoyed and ignore me completly and my boyfriend seems really distant.

Answer 1

You are great just the way you are,I would like to have a friend like you who is naturally quiet.Its really great to be in your company.I dont see anything annoying in you.Your bf and other friends have to accept you just the way you are.Those who really love you will accept you just the way you are.i am a quiet person and went through all those things you mentioned above,so i tried to change myself coz i was confused and wanted my bf to love me,i started talking a lot,but it didnt work either,i felt very uncomfortable for bieng someone who truely wasnt me.Now i am just myself,Remember, by bieng yourself you will really attract some good friends who will love and respect you for who you are.

Answer 2

First of all pray about this, then realize it is okay to be who you are.

You have two choices and one is to find someone more like yourself that does not expect that much from you.

The other is take some classes or seek counseling, my wife use to be the same way but she came to a realization that communication is the most important thing in any relationship. If there is no communication the relationship will not last. Unless you meet someone that is quiet as you are but then that would be boring. Right!

If you want to continue this relationship with this man and if you have any plans on getting married you both will need to do some serious talking about if this will work. If he needs someone that can talk more, well it may be time for him to go. If you need some that does not expect as much from you well the answer is the same.

If you are unable to communicate with the one that you love, it tells me that you may need to do some soul searching and still need to grow more. Just think when you get married, that person is suppose to be the person who is the closest to you in this world. If you can't share with him..................well you make to look inside at self.

I hope I have been helpful!

Answer 3

I can relate to you alot I know what ur talking about I am like you. When I was reading it I was saying to myself yes I do that and that and that so no you are not wrong. My husband does get annoyed and frustrated sometimes but to tell you the truth it's best if you keep quiet. Their is nothing bad with being Shy, I used to be Shy for as long as I can remember but now I'm the opposite of that. Things will change you'll see and tell your boyfriend to be patient with you and about your friends you can always find new ones. E-mail me and tell me how it goes.

Answer 4

I get the boyfriend part because I'm the same way. It weirds him out a bit because he's accustomed to more talkative women. But, we talked about it. It's frustrating for one person to hold up the conversation and sometimes he'd just like to see how you think/feel. You have to compromise a bit. I know how hard it is to try to make conversation when you're not accustomed to it.. I'm quiet too, but try to think of topics beforehand.
You aren't really wrong because that's how you naturally are. But, when you're with someone, it becomes one-sided if he has to do all the work.

As for the tuning out, as much as you're introspective... at those times, try not to be. There isn't much to say.. you just have to make the effort.

Answer 5

You are perfectly fine the way you are!!!!! Don't let anyone make you feel any different! If they try to point out maybe its not you that has the problem maybe they talk TOO much!!! There is nothing wrong with being quiet! It keeps you out of trouble most of the time and thats a good thing! I would just explain to them that your happy the way you are. and over time you will open up and feel more comfortable with expressing your thoughts and ideas. Just be patient and most of all be yourself!!!

Answer 6

Your an observer and absorber of information that is good.All of my life at least until recently i've done very little talking.One because of fear,that what i had to say wouldn't be accepted,also i didn't feel like engaging in something that would strike up an argument that could possibly lead to physical violence.I hate violence.Most of all i dislike not expressing my true feelings.So now I speak up maybe not right at the moment,but shortly after.It feels great.Word of caution don't get to be too extreme in expressing yourself you may very well get into something physical.Step out on faith.You can do it

Answer 7

Try interjecting subjects into conversations that you are interested in or know you have an opinion on......this should help you learn to build up skills of conversation.

Not everyone has to be a rattlebox but everyone should feel they are just as worthy to take part as the next person.

Best wishes!!

Answer 8

Get tested for ADHD. In the mean time there's a saying that goes like this:...'It's better to be quiet and thought stupid, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt"

Answer 9

Well... do not ever hesitate to be your self. Do not ever force your self to participate to a conversation just for the hell of it. And always think that it's these friends of yours or even your boyfriend that do not ecite you enough in order to be less quiet!

Answer 10

Sounds like you are really self conscience. Stop being that way. Be yourself and speak your mind. Let people get to know the real you.