I was at my b/f's dad's house and when we got to the car Christmas got brought up. I said that I thought he was flying to Houston to see his mom and he said "Shut Up". I was told by someone a long time ago that it is better to say "Be Quiet" or "Hush" not "Shut up" because it sounded disrespectful. When I told him that was why I was acting the way I was, he said that I shouldn't have opened my mouth. What do you think? Is it ok to say that to someone especially in front of people?
2006-11-29 02:32:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Sweetie, I did and he told me that I shouldn't have opened my mouth about it. I didn't even get an "I'm sorry" or nothing! Just basically like it was my fault for opening my mouth so that gave him the right to disrespect me.
2006-11-29 02:39:42 · update #1
Thanks Artimis, he bought a jeep and won't tell his dad so he won't get lectured about having two vehicles to play in the woods with. I get to where I feel like I should just not speak when I'm around his family b/c I don't know if I'll say something that will piss him off. By the way, he broke his leg and is out of work and mom and dad is trying to help him and I've bent over backwards cleaning and cooking for him and even bathing him! Now there's a jeep ride this weekend and nothing is stopping him from going to that and spending the money his mom gave him to get his expired tag renewed!
2006-11-29 02:43:52 · update #2
Crude and Disrespectful? YES!!! He farts in front of me all the time but gets on to my son for burping and not saying excuse me or not saying sir to him. I told him he should not tell my son not to do the same things he does all the time and he says that he don't do it when other people are around! I mean C'mon, I'm your girlfriend! I think he should have more respect to me than "other people"
2006-11-29 02:47:48 · update #3
Think before he speaks? That is what he told ME to do! I don't know what I might say that will piss him off. He came over to my house last week and told my family that since he is out of work he has no savings built up and has all these bills due that he can't pay and needed to get rid of his truck and I told him that I didn't want my family to know all of that financial stuff about him either! He wants to get rid of his truck that he drives everyday but won't get rid of the Chevy Blazer and the Jeep CJ7 that he plays in the woods with.
2006-11-29 02:51:35 · update #4
Incredibly rude. "Shut up" is fighting words. He also brought more attention to what you were saying when he said that. IF he didn't want his dad to know he was going to visit his mother....he should have said something to you about that before you went to visit his dad. You were just being conversational. I would have been hurt by those words to. I don't think "shut up" is EVER a nice thing to say to someone....especially someone you love.
2006-11-29 03:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by diapercakesbybecca 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you making excuses for his behavior? NOTHING gives him the right to disrespect you like that. Even if you spoke out of line, he should know to be more discreet. He should have called you on it in private and with better manners. His lack of apology shows that this is normal behavior for him. This is the beginning of the batterered woman relationship. DUMP him and find yourself someone worthy... Don't be a doormat, or people will step all over you. A broken leg does not prevent anyone from bathing himself.
2006-11-29 03:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by CJ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Society is changing so quickly...it seems. We as children are taught not to say certain things due to them sounding rude, or out of line. Expecially in the presence of a respected individual. Nevertheless, it sounds as though he's from a divorced family. And he possibly didn't want his dad to know the details...
In the future just ask that he helps iron out details of what he want's his parents to know, and politely not to use the word "shut-up"...lol
Now a day's middle school kids use "shut up" as a slang term, as though there in disbelief. My oldest is 15, and it seems that is his favorite words. It's a constant reminder that the word isn't so polite, and disrespectful.. teaching old school rules in today's society is rough.
Good luck!!
2006-11-29 02:40:47 · answer #3 · answered by Lo Lo G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is disrespectful, to you and his dad. His dad probably felt uncomfortable as you did. It looks to me that both of you need a better way of communication. Talk to him, and let him know that the way he reacted really hurt your feelings. Work on some sign language, a wink etc. that works better than a shut up! be quiet or hush,in front of people. Good Luck.
2006-11-29 03:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by star 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your b/f sounds crude and quite disrespectful!
"SHUT UP" is one of the rudest things anyone can say. Even if you caught B/F at a bad moment, he should have apologized for being so disrespectful. Certainly he should never have spoken to you like that, most definitely in front of his father.
NOW its up to you, are you willing to be disrespected? If so, say nothing more, and expect this to be the norm. If not, speak now, tell him how you feel and that you will not accept that behavior.
2006-11-29 02:40:01 · answer #5 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's your boyfriend - why?
From the your many posts this guy does not sound like a grade A catch. Telling you to shut up is extremely rude, especially in front of someone else. From what you say he sounds more like a child than a man.
2006-11-29 03:53:09 · answer #6 · answered by workingclasshero 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a horrible thing to say to anyone. What gives him the right to force you to stop speaking. It is rude to say alone and horrible to say in front of anyone.
He should apologize.
He needs to respect you more. I don't care if you had said something absolutely outrageous, he should have respect for you. Even if you said something he was tryig to hide he is wrong. (shouldn't he have told you to keep it quiet in the first place)
Let him know he needs to improve or you will upgrade.
2006-11-29 02:36:52 · answer #7 · answered by artimis 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's very disrespectful to say to you in front of people or not. My advice: run like the wind! If he treats you this badly and you aren't married...it will be 10 times worse should you decide to get married.
Get while the getting's good!!
2006-11-29 07:29:42 · answer #8 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darlin' --- KICK THAT BOY TO THE CURB ASAP!!! There is no reason for you to be with such a disrespectful, rude, uncaring oaf. Any man who appreciates you and respects you would NEVER speak to you that way. There is absolutely no reason to stay with him, and breaking up with him will send the clearest, loudest message about your feelings.
2006-11-29 06:24:53 · answer #9 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I shout it through the letter box at everyone who knocks. That's as far as the converation goes. I don't open the door so I never know if it's a solicitor or whoever. I haven't got all day - God!
2016-03-29 15:44:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋