So i had a huge fight with my bf and been sleeping on the sofa for the last 3 days and i am not talking to him. The fight was about him feeding a girl we both know in front of me.I was really upset that his being disrespectful and telling me he did nothing wrong and that i should not be mad. HOw dare he say that. Am i being wrong in this matter? Should i even ask this?I just think that something like that should be between us , i mean feeding one another is an intimate thing between 2 people, i will never do something like this.I even ask him would he like if some other guy feed me infront of him and he said NO so what am i suppose to think.
DO i have th righ to be mad? And do he have the right to tell me that i should not be mad? I am mad as hell and i am suppose to marry this guy.he said he done nothing wrong and did not say he was sorry
Please give me some advise to handle this
THANK YOU
2006-11-29 02:13:36 · 14 answers · asked by bcb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He was feeding her with his hand under her mouth so that she does not mess on her clothes kinda way
She is a one of our friends.
2006-11-29 02:14:32 · update #1
Contact like that with someone of the opposite sex can be touchy in a serious relationship. You do have a right to be bothered by this. However, you need to get past the anger and have a calm talk with your boyfriend about this. Men are prideful, and he will probably not apologize as long as he knows you're still mad. Tell him you're sorry that you got so angry. Then you can try to approach the situation from a different angle. Without anger in your voice, tell him that what happened bothered you, even if he didn't mean it to be an intimate act. Hopefully he will understand, and agree that it is something he will not do again.
If this is a single incident, I wouldn't worry about it too much. If he is continually doing things that are hurtful to you, then it may be time to reconsider your relationship. Someone who loves you would not repeatedly do things like this with complete disregard for your feelings.
Good luck to you.
2006-11-29 02:24:23 · answer #1 · answered by Robin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, is he your BF or Fiance? You did say something about "suppose to marry this guy". That makes for a different situation. But regaurdless of that, I think you've got every right to be pissed... and so does he. He knows he did something totally stupid. He seems to have a double standard though. Maybe you need to have a discussion about each of your expectations of how eachother acts with other people. Noting that neither one of you should do something that you wouldn't want the other to do to you. The Golden Rule is the answer to most problems in relationships, but people don't get most of the time.
What was the other girl's part in this? Did she think it was wierd or awkward? Or is she flirting with him in front of you? Did she have a significant other there who also might be pissed?
No one has the right to tell you how to feel, or what to feel. Feelings are your own to do with as you please. The thing that worries me is that it's been going on for three days. That is unhealthy for both your relationship and for you.What is it you can do to truley get over this and not hold resentment toward him? Will he be willing to never do it again? Will you be willing to never bring it up again? I'd try (tactfully, so he doesn't go into defensive mode) to get him to realize that if he knows it's something he wouldn't want you doing, than it's somthing that he should apologize for. Be a 'real man' and have the strength and humility to admit that he was wrong. Other wise I'd rethink if he's the man you really want to be with, because this could be a pattern of things to come. Life with a man who can't admit he's wrong could lead to a woman who doesn't stand up for what she knows to be right.
2006-11-29 02:49:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a total jerk (sorry). If he is your bf and he cares for you he wouldn't do that with a mutual friend, and he shouldn't do that! I totally understand why you feel like that. The fact that he said he wouldn't like it if you did that for another guy tells you that it is not normal that he should be doing that. I would talk to your friend about it, the one who he fed, and see what she has to say. Ask her if he has done something like that while you were not around, or has he acted up in some way. Then make up your mind what you want to do. It could have been a once off and he has realised he did wrong but doesn't want to say so, or he might just think he can do it and get away with it. Either way you need to find out what he is really like before you get married otherwise it will be too late. Good luck :)
2006-11-29 02:19:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start making him sleep on the couch, he will be sorry sooner. Also I see where you are coming from. Maybe he didn't mean anything by his actions at all. I would try not to go around that girl very often for a while. Tell him you didn't mean to over react but that you were hurt because you feel that is an intimate act between two people and that it was almost like cheating to you. See what he says and how he reacts. Watch his body language, that will tell you what you need to know.
2006-11-29 02:24:09 · answer #4 · answered by country girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honestly, i think youre over reacting. He wasnt feeding her in a way that was meant to be romantic. He was doing a nice gesture. You said she was a friend of yours. So whats the big deal......Sounds like you have some possessive issues. I think you should just tell him that you didnt like him feeding her, and not to do it again. The situation probably would have gone alot smoother if you didnt go off on the man! But hey, we all lose our tempers sometimes, so i understand. I would apologize for overeacting if i was you. Good Luck!
2006-11-29 02:18:12 · answer #5 · answered by Jackeeeee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let's focus on nothing but how you feel, ok? This doesn't feel good, right? Then you have to do something about it, but the answer doesn't lie with anyone else but yourself. Ask yourself if the reason you feel angry is a part of your own insecurity. He won't say he's sorry because that's how he is and he won't change for anyone, so ask yourself if this is what you want, then tell him how you feel, then tell him to either show you respect in public or you'll find someone who will..
2006-11-29 02:19:17 · answer #6 · answered by untitled 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha the many fights, girl mine are worse. Anyways, I feel you do have the right to be mad but I am a female. Men have a different mentality so in reality that is probably why he cannot process what he did as wrong.
2006-11-29 02:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by headstr8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u are definitely right n its ok for u to feel this way. however, if it hasnt happened before, i wouldnt make a big deal about it. just have patience with him and hear his side of the story. if it happens again, ull been ridin in stormy seas n let him no if somethin like that happens again, it could strain n maybe even end ur relationship, u have to sort of threaten him in a rational way. not to harsh though
2006-11-29 02:19:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should relax and tell him talk about it not fight about it he may not have reallized how angry you would get.I know your angry, but it doesn't mean he has anything to do with the girl and i don't think that is a good enough reason for you guys to have problems or break up.
2006-11-29 02:29:10 · answer #9 · answered by shiva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First CALM DOWN. i WOULD FEEL INSECURE ABOUT THIS IF i WAS WITH A MAN i FELT INSECURE WITH.
uNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS NOT APPROPRIATE TO DO IN FRONT OF YOU, AS HE SHOULD KNOW BY NOW HOW POSESSIVE YOU ARE.
But yelling and overreacting is only going to make things worse.
Try try try, in your passionate nature, to take this gracefully, and
if he ever does it again, knowing how you feel , dump him.
Set the limit now. I don't know what else you could do at this point.
2006-11-29 02:18:50 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋