I'm black. A girlfriend of mine is white (among many of my friends). I happen to walk in on a conversation she was having with a girlfriend... both opposing dating black men. She seemed to try to play it off as merely a "preference" thing, but sounded vehemently opposed to it. I have my preferences as a black man (although no particular ONE over the other or any order), but keep an open mind about who I could be potentially dating. Women's opinion, particularly white women, is this really a "preference" or just flat-out racist. Honest answers would be appreciated. To me, anytime a person is completely written-off because of the color or their skin or anything else, without even being given the benefit of having any "redeeming" qualities as a human being... that's racist. Period. Any opinions?
2006-11-29 01:52:01 · 30 answers · asked by blah_blah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know, What was her "preferences" for not dating a black man? I mean I guess I would have to agree with you on your last statement if she just wrote off a whole race based on color then that is racist. If she had a reason and a legit one then it maybe would be preference. But I feel if any race is good enough to be your friend then they are also good enough to date!
2006-11-29 01:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by Issym 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's your friend, then she obviously isn't racist. Sounds like white men are just her preference. Not everything is racist. And for the most part, I've personally been told by black women the most that they would not date anything other than a black man. I know far more white girls who date outside their races.
2006-11-29 01:57:45 · answer #2 · answered by eaglesnest1119 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're really describing a very personal thing when it comes to dating and relationships. It's a preference to everyone. You may find that not all white women prefer to be with white guys either, some may like Hispanic men, and some may like black men and some will like other decents.
A person doesn't have to be a racist to know who they want to date in a relationship.
Take for example how many good looking people that are "gay".. then ask them why they won't date a straight person.. Its because they prefer to be with someone who is "gay" and not straight...
They like rainbow sprinkles instead of chocolate sprinkles on their ice cream.
2006-11-29 02:04:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude race should not be important in you liking a girl! You need to decide right now whether you are going to be all for her or not (no fence sitting, that will definitely cause you more problems than you will ever want to take on down the road). Who cares if it's popular or not to date a girl in Texas, be the change and don't listen to any racist jerks who think that race has anything to do with you liking some one or not. If your parents don't approve than that is their problem, and they will eventually probably learn to love her, because maybe they'll get to know her. A parent should love whomever you decide to, for the sheer fact that they love you and trust your decisions. I hoped that helped some, and best of luck to you!
2016-05-23 01:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea it is not raciest not to want to date one group of people. It doesn't mean you hate a certain group or act a certain way because of a preference. We all have preferences. I don't want to date Asian women. I have Asian friends but the women don't do anything for me. Does that mean I am a racist? I doubt it. I still hang out with them as Asian friends but that is it.
In this day and age people get to caught up on the race card. If your friend only wants to date white, black, yellow, orange so what? Let her do her thing and if you guys have fun together that is all that matters. What is a redeeming quality to you may not be to her.
Relax life is to short. Have fun and enjoy what you have.
2006-11-29 01:57:12 · answer #5 · answered by Lost in Space 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your friend's comments are necessarily racist. I do think she could be short sighted if she does meet a black man that has other traits she likes but decides not date him just because he's black. Almost everyone has a type of guy or girl that they are attracted to. It can be hard to imagine dating someone doesn't fit that type. Most of the time, those preferences fall to the wayside when you really connect with someone. Give her the benefit of the doubt.
2006-11-29 02:04:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could be just a preference thing- I've got white girlfriends who only prefer black guys. Doesn't mean they hate their kind. I think it's wrong that you should limit yourself to one particular type of guy especially if based on race. There aren't a lot of decent guys out there(no offense to all decent guys out there- which i think is a very very small number). Shouldn't the fact that the person is nice or has a sense of humor and treats you well play an important part? I don't know what world any of you guys live in but in my world there aren't a lot decent people out there. People aren't nice to their fellow human beings anymore. Everyone cheats and lies to get their way up in this world. It is so sad so sad. People are taking lives, abusing children, getting rich while their neighbors starve. It a mad world we live in... so sad. i seem to have gone of course anyways moving on...
2006-11-29 02:26:02 · answer #7 · answered by lululu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"To me, anytime a person is completely written-off because of the color or their skin or anything else, without even being given the benefit of having any "redeeming" qualities as a human being... that's racist. Period."
you already know! you don't need an answer to this question.
the fact is that she, along with many whites, don't see human being when they see dark skin. they see animal! dog. inhuman. unworthy. that's what she probably sees in black men. oh they are fine to be friends with (ie ghetto pass, token ***** friend) but never worth dating.
unfortunately, it's normal for many whites to be that way. fortunately, there are quite a few whites who are very cool and respectful. hard to find but they do exist. but you have to be careful of those types of people who seem cool but aren't. they'll turn on you in a split second. and that for everyone.
2006-11-29 02:06:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anthony Taurus 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have wondered about this, too, but I am inclined to think it is not racist. Or at least I think who we are attracted to is determined in the earliest years of life and that this is a primal and completely irrational aspect of our beings. People are attracted to others for all kinds of reasons that dwell in the deepest part of our psyches (other than surface attractiveness, the person we go for has other psychological qualities.) If you are raised in a white family with little exposure to other races before the age of say 6, you might have already fixed your romantic ideal on someone of your own race.
I have known people of non-white races who are also only attracted to their own race. I have known white people who are only attracted to asians or to black people. I am not sure something that deeply embedded in the psyche is racism. But I could be wrong.
2006-11-29 01:57:22 · answer #9 · answered by braennvin2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your friend. I look at women and am either attracted to them or not regardless of their race. I do find I am usually attracted to women who have 'white' features, but that's just me and I never thought about why. If she specified all black men, it would probably be more of a racist thing. If she said shes typically not attracted to black men, it would be a preference thing.
2006-11-29 01:57:25 · answer #10 · answered by Jon O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋