If your significant other has been in contact with his/her ex, and never told you about it. How would you feel and react to this?
2006-11-29 01:27:33 · 6 answers · asked by Lue 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
His actions are making you insecure and sowing seeds of fear.
Insecurity and fear are not healthy aspects of a good relationship.
Openness and honesty are.
It's black and white: If you can do better then you should.
2006-11-29 01:33:13 · answer #1 · answered by simm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it would bother me, because it happened to me. Not that they ever had a strong relationship; I think they had a few dates and broke up. But one of my wife's friends is an ex-boyfriend who, at the time we got together, was blogging about her during her then-annual week-long visit to his home. It was the most gushy, she's so beautiful in the morning, I am so completely wowed by her still, I have a giant crush kind of stuff it shocked me. There was NO way I thought it was appropriate for her to be staying the night with this guy. Her point of view was first she told me it was awkward but then she decided it was his problem, and if she had no feelings for him and didn't get romantic with him, what's the difference? Next time I tried to talk about it, she had forgotten that we'd ever spoken about it or that he'd ever said crushy things about her - but that blog post suddenly disappeared from the web. So, I felt like it was a situation she ought to have pulled herself out of. I definitely didn't and don't want her spending the night at this guy's place again, except the time we both visited together. I mean, he really is her friend, and I really do like the guy. I enjoy his company. I just think if some guy is crushing on my wife, which to be fair I don't believe he is anymore, she ought to be really clear with him that she doesn't feel the same way and that she can't spend time alone with him while he feels that way. At this point, I just hope she doesn't want any more all-by-herself visits with ex-boyfriends who live far away. I feel a nagging dread about it from time to time. But I really think it was a safe situation, and that my wife was a combination of her usual not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, plus a selfish wish to keep this friendship even if her friend was suffering pining away for her.
2016-05-23 01:44:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two questions. Why is he (or she) contacting his Ex? Also why should he (or she) tell you about it (does he need your permission to talk to people)?
I talk to my Ex-wife sometimes, to wish her happy birthday or to say happy holiday. Also to see how our son is doing. And I don't tell my current wife about it when I do so. However, I don't hide it from her either and my motives are pure. Me and my current wife know that I'm not trying to get back with my Ex, but there is nothing my current wife can say or do to stop me from being friendly or having a kind word to say to a woman I have a child with.
See trust is the issue, if you trust the person you are with (and they trust you), then speaking to an Ex-Lover will mean nothing. Also if you can't trust him with his Ex, then you can't trust him with any woman.
2006-11-29 01:44:42 · answer #3 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt over react. If its always on your head just talk it out. Let them know its ok for them to contact and make them feel like they can share it with you.
You have to learn to let the other person breath if you want this to work! Relax and enjoy life...he's with you afterall.
2006-11-29 01:37:59 · answer #4 · answered by Curious George 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be ticked and probably wouldn't trust him.
2006-11-29 01:34:33 · answer #5 · answered by sweet sweet me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't like it at all
2006-11-29 01:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by chr1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋