Should new converts lose all their non-Christian friends?

Question

A thread on another web site said that one minister said that newly converted Christians lose all their non-Christian friends within two years.
Do you think that this is true, and if true is it a good thing?

Answer 1

This is usually because new converts are generally more obnoxious about their new faith than life-long believers and end up driving their old friends away. No, it's not a good thing.

One of several examples:

I knew a girl, very clever, very pretty, who sadly connected with the JWs. Her minister actually told her that her beauty was "sinful" and that she had to make herself "plain" to please God. She's still pretty, but the way she carries herself, dresses, and behaves, one would think she was a mouse. She started avoiding the rest of us because we "stood out too much" according to her pastor (What a joke: We were the outcasts.). Today she's in San Francisco standing on street corners and handing out Watchtower pamphlets.

No. It can be a very bad thing.

Answer 2

I don't think converts should lose their non-Christian friends. This just happens, because superficial friendships lose their bond. True friendships remain, and are sometimes the cause for the non-Christian friends to convert on their turn, when the time comes.
But people losing all their friends? I can only think of two things, or perhaps three:
1) That those friendships were very superficial to begin with.
2) That converts are actively encouraged to despise their friends (regardless of bad influence such as drunken parties or whatever).
3) That this "minister" belongs to a cult (something more or less like scientology and the like) that tries to dominate the life of the faithful so much, that they get severed from their normal life and become cult zombies. (This is more or less connected with no. 2.)
I think Christians should keep all the friends they love, and only avoid those who can get them into trouble. And better said, avoid not the persons, but the situations that can be spiritually harmful. If these people are true friends, they would accept to meet with the vulnerable converts in decent situations, at least from time to time, for the sake of keeping in touch.

Answer 3

It depends on how tolerant, smart and enlightened the newly converted Christians are. Talking from my own experience, I can tell you that some strict Christians often do happen to lose their non-Christian friends, because of their lack of tolerance. I lost my boyfriend because of religion, because he was a strict, bigot Christian and I'm not. About that being a good thing? Well, not at all! People should always keep their religious beliefs out of their relationships with others; reciprocal tolerance is a must.

Answer 4

When a person becomes a Christian, they undergo a change at the deepest level. Their new nature can make other people feel uncomfortable. It may be that they no longer do the things they used to, so there is an unspoken challenge to the friends. Then a choice has to be made. Sometimes that choice is to go separate ways.

Answer 5

Maybe it is because they get new interests, and lose touch with their old friends which is true of a lot of people when they get into something different. As a christian myself, I know it is tricky when my old pals go out to get drunk, for example, and I am not into that any more, so i would probably go out with some other friends instead. People drift apart and there is nothing wrong with that. Also my old friends think I am judging them sometimes when I don't do soemthing they do, and they can drift away from me. C'est la vie.

Answer 6

Well a good friend always be with u n religion should not come between friendship and also according 2 u ,u hav done a right thing by converting n good friend should respect u r action

Answer 7

I actually do agree with that statement.
Most times, its not the friend that "leaves" its the convert that pushes them away or turns toward the newer church friends.

A new zest or passion for Christ, new or renewed is all consuming and is can over power your entire life and outcast others that don't share all your new beliefs.

Now with that said, their is nothing wrong with that, for some.
Often times the previous events are what led them to the church and Christ, so they "want" a new clean slate. Balance is the key.

Yet in your case, if you love your friends, then talk "frankly" with them about your spirituality and keep the "religious" talk to a minim when in mixed company.

I have many many friends that are not Christians. We come to common groups and love being together.

Compromise and compassion.

Answer 8

They only loose non-christian friends when they try to convert people that are happy with their life as it is. I have friends who are Christians but they know better than to try to turn me around. I'm not interested and I promise to set my cats (it's because I don't have lions) on them if they raise the subject. They do however have a sense of humour.

Answer 9

This is a mechanism of control, any group that advocates the errosion of a persons support network (friends ect..) is potentially dangerous.

Often groups that do this can be highly abusive, once a new member has isolated themselves from their support network outside that group, they can more eaisily be controlled in both behaviour and thought/belief (brainwashing). If they do not conform they risk confrontation with other members of the group and could potentially face expulsion leaving them with completely isolated and without any support at all.

it is altogether highly abusive, be wary of any group that advocates such actions.

Answer 10

i think your mistaken.

no christian in their right mind would say something so stupid.
it he practised what he preached how did convert become a convert in the first place?

Some religions do practise this though so it is not all that laughable, the Koran states;

[5:51] O you who believe, do not take [certain] Jews and Christians as allies; these are allies of one another. Those among you who ally themselves with these belong with them. GOD does not guide the transgressors