I had a bad time breaking up with my fiance from a possesive mother and hit depression need help to move on?

Question

Recently i broke up with him as his mother was over possesive and now she has banned him seeing me he wont stand up to her so we ended breaking up, im finding really really hard to get out of the depression he left me in any ideas and help to move on?

Answer 1

So sorry to hear about your hard times. Breaking up is hard to do, especially with someone that you planned to spend the rest of your life with. But I have to say that it took a very strong person to stand up for herself the way you have. So even though you are feeling so awful now, time will help heal that pain. Think about what you really deserve.......a man who will stand up for his feelings about the woman he loves, or a man who is afraid to upset his mom? I know that sometimes a relationship between a woman, her significant other, and his mother can be complicated, but as far as the son and mother part, when a new woman comed into his life, and if he's serious about her, he should be able to find a healthy balance for his mother in the equation. It sounds like he hasn't set any boundaries for where she stands, and marrying him with her still having this control would really make a marriage difficult. If anything, he needs to get his priorities straight to be with you. You deserve a man who will stand up for the woman he plans to spend his life with.

Maybe you need to have a conversation with him so you can get some closure, maybe that would help you to move on. But wait a few days, and really take time to sort out your own feelings. Know where you stand and what you want, and be strong about those feelings. And if you think it would be better to not contact him, talk to your friends and family, it's so important to have support in a hard time like this.

I understand how this situation can be depressing and bring you such sadness, but honeslty...this is your life and you are standing up for yourself. I'm proud of you for being such a strong woman.

Answer 2

Are either of you working? Are you only paying $400 a month? $400 is dirty cheap and with a baby on the way, you need to be saving money. I'm not sure what to tell you here. Babies are expensive and the amount of money you'll be spending on diapers, formula, wipes, medicine, clothing and other needs is going to be high. Couple that with rent, utlities, food and other basic household expensives; you'll reach your limit financially. Your rent might be $400, but add about twice that much and you'll have the amount you'll need for ulitilies/food/insurance,etc. I don't want to sound mean, but are you ready for this baby? Perhaps you should consider adoption. You are barely supporting yourself and this baby is going to suffer in the long haul. You are too young and not the least bit prepared for this child. No, you are not ready to move out of his mother's house. If you do it, you're baby will suffer in the long run. You will be so financially strapped, you'll be cutting important costs all other the place. Remember, you are pregnant. Are you getting proper pre-natal care and eating good foods? If you aren't, how do you expect to afford all that, plus baby needed and rent/utilities? Live with his mother, save money and get some proper pre-natal care. Once this baby is born, get right to working and save up some money. After a while, consider getting your own place. If you feel like this isn't a positive alternative, then maybe you aren't ready for this baby. Perhaps you can find a nice home and a couple who really wants a baby, but for some reason (like medical reasons) can't have their own.

Answer 3

Take some time, maybe two hrs. Then count youself luck you wokeup in time. Now wipe those pretty eyes of yours and find you a better fella the next time. Take it slow, ask him what he likes and dislikes.

Marrage is a fine thing for two people who really love each other, but if your not sure, it is far better to wait.

I am a 60 year old man married 37 years to a wonderful lady.

Yes, we took our time, ask lots of question, and found we had a lot in common.

Talked with both sets of parent to make shure they were ok with
our plans. They were and we got married.

It has been a great 37 years, and still going! I'd do it all over again if I could and would not change on thing.

Best of Luck to you;

Oscar S.

Answer 4

Hi Chel
I'm in a simillar situation to you. Myself and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up at the beginning of last week. We were very close which made it much harder.
I slipped in to depression for a couple of days, and even now it hurts. Being guy's, I couldn't really talk to most of my friends. I did however have a long conversation with my sister and that did me the world of good.

The best thing I did was to talk and take on board other people's views.
People may say 'you'll get over it' etc. etc. but it's only YOU that can make YOU happy again.
I really feel for you as I know what you're feeling, but you sound like a nice girl and there're plenty of other good things in life, you just have to be willing to find them or let them find you.
Drop me an email - [e-mail] if you want to chat any time.
Kris

Answer 5

So very sorry.
It's not the best time to split with a loved one comming so close to Christmas or even anytime.
IMy wife left me 10th Dec 04 and even now 2 years down the line I find it hard.
It has got better and I think the best advise is to talk it out of your system with someone then find new intrests to occupy your mind.
I have a great job which helps through the day but the nights are the worst for lonliness so keep occupied
Good Luck and think possitive that it will get better.
Jeff xx

Answer 6

You have just had a luck escape. You will look back at this in a few months and be thankful that Junior and Mummy are well out of the picture. When his mum pops her clogs he will wake up and realise that he is old, bald and has missed the boat Get yourself a new look and some hobbies and make sure your time is full. YOU WILL BE FINE.

Answer 7

Your love life is just one part of your life -- or should be. If you work, then make yourself the most valuable employee you can be. If you go to school, study harder than you need to get a good grade. If you have a favorite sport or hobby, get better at it through courses or more effort. If you have health problems that can be helped with diet, exercise, or treatment, get that done.

Above all, don't make a proactive effort to get him back or even to think about him. Don't even focus on getting a replacement for him. Realize you are more than just somebody's girlfriend.

Answer 8

You need a good group of friends around you, arrange a girly night out where you can let your hair down and forget everything for the time being. If you have lost touch with your friends since you were with him,then you really need to get in touch with them. Real friends won' mind if its been a while since they heard off you. Plan a complete reshuffle of your daily routine, and throw yourself into something positive - eg work, gym or socialising

Answer 9

hi, i had that problem but in the end my hubby walked out on his mum and hasn't been back until she apologises (which will be never) but the point is if he truly loved you he would tell his mum to back off and put your relationship first, i honestly think you should get out more with your friends and have fun and find a buy who really loves you and will actually think of your feelings first and will make you feel good, you have had a lucky escape and in time you will come to realise it, i know it is hard ending relationship and it feels no one will want you but believe me stop self piytying go out look nice and have fun feel good about yourself and you will be surprised at who you attract....

Answer 10

That has "unhealthy relationship" written all over it!! There is no reason to sell yourself short, which is what you'd be doing if you stayed with this guy. Thank your stars that his mother was possessive and that you found out now, instead of after the wedding.