OK....Xmas is a really important time for my husband, I and our kids. My in-laws inc sister in law...refuse to come for lunch cos the 3 of them prefer to go to a restaurant for Xmas lunch by themselves but they will come after lunch(after we have finished our festivities). We have asked them to come and provide NOTHING! we just want their company. But they still refused so I told my mum-in-law..wat I said in the Q. Our kids are heartbroken and the inlaws know this but they still wont come!! So in a FINAL stand...we told them not to bother coming at all! After yrs of ignorance and arrogance...we have had enough!! My sis-in-law just told me.."well, u r their mother..u explain it to them"...but i dont want to be so cruel. Our kids have done nothing to warrent this harsh treatment...its getting harder and harder to shelter them from the truth...but I know they will figure it out for themselves 1 day. I just dont want to b the 1 to tell them wat their family is really
like. Help me plz..
2006-11-29 00:11:55 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
PS...my sis-in-law has no partner or kids.
2006-11-29 00:15:50 · update #1
My family is included in xmas lunch and they are coming...so it includes my hasbands family as well.
2006-11-29 00:19:40 · update #2
Just tell the kids that they have other plans or explain it to them. Kids need to hear the truth, but I would not let them feel that it has anything to do with them, just the way their grandparents and aunt are. Let it go at that. It is obvious that your inlaws have you and their grandkids on the bottom of their list of priorities. Sad for them as they can't make up these years or times with the kids.
2006-11-29 00:17:17 · answer #1 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you are being a little harsh... Did you ever stop to think about the in-laws ? Maybe they enjoy there quiet alone time for Christmas lunch and want to stop in and see the kids after their peaceful meal. I see no problem with that at all.
You should be teaching the kids that the inlaws have their own Christmas traditions but will be over after their lunch to visit and see the kids.
I don't see how it is being cruel. Some people are just not up for all the "festivities" that you are. To each their own.
You should not have told your kids the inlaws would be coming and then they would have no reason to be upset or disappointed. Just because the holidays are important to your immediate family doesn't mean the extended family is required to go along.
You should apologize to them and let them know that you were not intentionally forcing your traditions down their throats.
You should be thankful that your kids have grandparents and aunts to come and visit at all. My inlaws haven't spoken to my kids in 5 years.. since we moved from the state they were in.
And my mom is too far away to visit.
2006-11-29 08:21:31 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your children and your husband are your instant family and that is all that matters. So what if they come later thats their choice some people dont even have that so dont make it a big drama for your kids and hubby ...it is christmas be thankful for what you have not for what you cant have.The kids are heart broken because of the way you handle it you can turn it around if you choose....by saying to them oh well they will come later in the day and we can do something special.We all have choices and we make our own not everyone elses....hope you end up having a great day no matter what..cheers
2006-11-29 08:18:42 · answer #3 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_of_3 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
instead of having lunch with the in-laws, have dessert don't make the kids stuffer because adult at like babies all the time. Desert is better than nothing. This is the season for Peace, Joy and Happiness right.
2006-11-29 08:23:25 · answer #4 · answered by SHARON S 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would luuuuuuuurrvvvee to tell my M in L to "Jam It" You are a legend. They are being totally unreasonable and basic A holes, You can't shelter your kids forever...just remember that this is no reflection on you or your kids...You have gone above and beyond the call of duty so I say move on ...do you really want these people around and influencing your kids? I don't think so!!
2006-11-29 08:17:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
mother in laws can be a hard pill to swallow...the best way to handle this old bird is to act like her missing lunch is no big deal...she WANTS you to beg them to come thats obvious...dont give her the satisfaction of knowing you are hurt...simply tell her that her company will be missed and then forget her and enjoy your family on christmas
2006-11-29 08:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by kimbersweet 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep your side clean. Don't invite them again, but let them come and visit if they want to. Don't go out of your way to get their company, they don't care so stop breaking your heart about that. When its b-days phone them, when it’s x-mas phone them to congratulate them. About the children, just let it be, when they are old enough they will decide for themselves. Enjoy your x-mas with your family.
2006-11-29 08:18:56 · answer #7 · answered by confussie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you have your traditions and your in-laws have theirs. You cannot expect them to just throw all their traditions in the air just because YOU want them to. My family has certain traditions too, but when you have in-laws you MUST respect them too. It's hard to do, especially with children, but it's so seriously wrong of you to ask them to change their ways all because you want to act spoiled during the holidays. And for you to disrespect them, their traditions and the way you speak so callously, I'd be surprised if they want anything more to do with you, their son, or your children.
2006-11-29 08:34:10 · answer #8 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dont worry about the kids. Establish rituals that the children will relish throughout their lives....Sadly their grandparents dont want to be part of that.
2006-11-29 08:16:39 · answer #9 · answered by sdr35hw 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ha! u cant force someone to come to ur lunch, why dont u go the restaurant with them
2006-11-29 08:16:01 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋