Three men were captured by cannibals and were told that they were going to eat them unless they went into the forest and came back with 10 fruits of the same kind and stick it up their butts without making any sound.
The first one came back with 10 apples.. Started sticking them up his butt. The first apple went in but on the second apple he said "Ow.." So he was killed and eaten..
The second one arrived with 10 little berries. He started sticking them up his butt too.. But on the 10th berry he burst out laughin.. So he was also killed and eaten..
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "You were doing real good, why did you laugh?!" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it.. I saw the other guy coming back with pineapples!"
2006-11-28 23:58:28 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
When I first heard this question, it was about an English, Scottish and Irish joke. But I didn't wanna offend anyone. =)
2006-11-29 00:05:34 · update #1
LOL! thank you for making me laugh. Just what I needed today!
2006-11-29 00:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by zanoshi 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you ruined it!
They were told to collect 10 of the same fruit, but were NOT told what they would have to do with them until after they got back; otherwise it doesn't make sense.
And when I first heard it it was coconuts not pineapples.
2006-11-29 08:02:36 · answer #2 · answered by franja 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Very good! I had heard it before but it still made me laugh!
A am giving this a positive rating!
2006-11-29 08:00:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dats 1 hell of a joke
where do u guys get these jokes from?
i wanna know
2006-11-29 08:12:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
old but funny, like Bruce Forsyth
2006-11-29 08:41:20 · answer #5 · answered by markhatter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny!!
2006-11-29 08:14:31 · answer #6 · answered by tonyatalkstoo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That was a nice joke.
Get these below ones
IT Companies Full Names... (nothing serious okay ;) )
1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS : Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM: Sad and Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM: Puzzled and Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT : Coffee during Office Timings
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash first and Let them go
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India
19. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees .
20. PATNI : Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.
21. MASTEK : Mad and Stupid Technicians Enrooted to Kabaarkhana
____________________________________________________\
Psychotherapy - Doesn't it work
Jokes only.. okay? ;-) Enjoy reading
The woman comes home from the hypnotist and tells her husband,
"Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well,
they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to
stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have
a headache, I do not have a headache. I do not have a headache.' It
worked!
The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, " By the way, you were not very exciting in bed
for sometime.
You were a ball of fire in bed those days. Why don't you go see the
hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband
comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her
into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move. I'll
be right back."
He goes into the bathroom and comes back in a few minutes, jumps into
bed and makes passionate love like never before. His wife says, "Boy,
that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even
better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
He again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly
follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the
mirror and saying,
"She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!
____________________________________________________
Nightly conversation
Husband: Oh, come on.
Wife: Leave me alone!
Husband: It won't take long.
Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
Husband: I can't sleep without it.
Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?
Husband: Because I'm Hot.
Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times.
Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.
Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate.
Husband: You don't love me anymore.
Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
Husband: Please...come on
Wife: All right, I'll do it.
Husband: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?
Wife: I can't find it.
Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!
Wife: There! Are you satisfied?
Husband: Oh, yes.
Wife: Is it up far enough?
Husband: Oh, that's good.
Wife: Now go to sleep and from now on when you want the window open, do it
yourself.
____________________________________________________
Salesman
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street.
A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and
opened a big black plastic bag and poured dirty things onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner,
I will EAT all this stuff!", exclaimed the eager salesman .
"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"We just moved in, & there's no electricity in the house!"
____________________________________________________
The Deaf Genie
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the
bag on the counter.
The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one
foot high, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag
and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.
He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench,
which he places in front of the piano.
The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful
piece by Mozart!
"Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.
The man responds by reaching into the paper bag.
This time he pulls out a lamp. He hands it to the bartender and
says..."Here. Rub it."
So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke
and a beautiful genie is standing before him.
"I will grant you one wish. Just one wish...each person is allowed only one!"
The bartender gets really excited.
Without hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!"
A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar.
It is soon followed by another duck, then another.
Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!
The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's
a little deaf...I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."
"Tell me about it!!" says the man...
"Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
____________________________________________________
Fluffy Bunny Rabbit
After a long day at the office, Chris came home one day to find his
dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit was
obviously dead.
Chris panicked!
"If my neighbors find out my dog killed their bunny, they'll hate me
forever," he thought.
So he took the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gave it a bath
and blow-dried its fur.
Chris knew his neighbors kept their backdoor open during the summer,
so he sneaked inside and put the bunny back into the cage, hoping his
neighbors would think it died of natural causes.
A couple of days later Chris and his neighbor saw each other outside.
"Did you hear that Fluffy died?" the neighbor asked.
"Oh. Uhmm... Sorry to hear that. What happened?" Chris mumbled.
The neighbor replied, "We just found him dead in his cage one day. But
the strange thing is that the day after we buried him, we went out to
dinner and someone must have dug him up, gave him a bath and put him
back into the cage!"
____________________________________________________
Can you understand this joke?
Little Johnny and a barber were travelling together in a train.
During the journey they became close friends.
Little Johnny had to get down at a station which was to come at midnight but
was feeling very sleepy.
So he asked the barber to wake him up as the barber was awake.
The Barber did not sleep the whole night.
As he was travelling for a period, he had not shaven any one for few days.
He felt like shaving and cutting but could not find any one in the
middle of night.
He then clean shaved Little Johnny and cut his hear, felt relieved and
went to sleep.
When Little Johnny's station arrived, the barber woke him up.
Little Johnny went to the lavatory to wash his face.
He came back angrily to the barber, slapped him and said that he had
woken up some one else and went back to sleep.
____________________________________________________
I Thought You Were My Wife
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for
some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her,
placed his hand up
her skirt and began fondling her.
She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you
were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a *****!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
BYE - Imtiyaz G
2006-11-29 09:03:48 · answer #7 · answered by Imtiyaz G 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cute.
Peace.
2006-11-29 08:03:40 · answer #8 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, at least you warned us it was going to be an old one !
2006-11-29 08:41:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just knew pineapples featured somewhere!!!
i liked ; p
2006-11-29 08:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by emboo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋