Does having kids really change you?

Question

They say that having a child can make you want to change your whole life, within an instant. I dont have any kids of my own, but i think i do understand that feeling..but im just wondering...is this feeling you get only quite this strong when it comes to your own children or do you think it is possible to feel all the things like, wanting to be a better person, wanting to set an example for your younger siblings just as strong?

Answer 1

I think the majority of people would answer yes to this question. We weren't bad people before we had children. We did occasionally go to parties and drink and so on, but when we had our children all of that stopped. For my husband and myself the instant we held our children our lives were never the same. This tiny little one has to learn from you. So you change things in your life to make sure your child or even younger sibling can see how they are to live. They will model most of everything you do. They are the greatest change in my life, definately well worth it!!

Answer 2

For me, becoming a parent made me look at the world and myself in a whole new way. I realized that I was responsible for this little person and what I do and say was defiantly going to make an impact of his life. And every time I had a child after my first, that feeling became more intense because it just meant I had more then one to guide through life, and my husband and I know we have to do this right! There is just no second chance! My children have also taught me that it's ok to not be so serious all the time. It's ok to be goofy and childlike every now and then. As a matter of fact, it's absolutely important!
But I don't think you have to have children in order to make yourself a better person or change yourself if you feel that need to do so, or set examples for those around you. As a matter of fact, doing those things now often will make you a better parent later if you decide to have kids.
Look at the world and you'll see that there are people who have children that are just bad! Even a life that they bring into the world can't change them! And you'll also see people who have never had children and they are so compassionate, loving and giving. It shows that having kids doesn't always change people, and that not having them doesn't mean you can't be the best person possible.
I think for many of us who become parents, we just realize we have to think of someone else first ALL THE TIME! It's a hard job with wonderful rewards.

Answer 3

My sister was born when I was 12 and being that young didn't truly give me the ability to understand how wonderful having a child at home really is. I love my sister & I was ECSTATIC when I found out my mother was pregnant. I loved teaching her new things but I was in my preteens - wanting to do things on my own. And now that I have a 2 year old son (I'm 28), I look back & remember all those little moments I shared with her (she's 16 now) and when I compare it to my own child - I must say it is a whirlwind of a difference!

I focus on my son every second I can (a bit much I think). I give him his space, allow him to do things on his own (he's becoming very independent - very smart kid), but I don't want to miss out on anything. Every little accomplishment he attains is party time for me in the sense that I get so emotional & so proud - it is an indescribable feeling! And now whenever I go screaming to my siblings "Look what he just did - wow - it's amazing!" My sister will look at me say "Uh-huh, he's not the only kid in the world who can do that." I'm sure when she is old enough & has her own kids, she'll probably be just as I am now.

You see, it IS different. I love kids but nothing can compare to your own child! Being a mother truly changes everything! The second I found out I was pregnant, I was soo happy! I am not the same person I was 2 years ago - it is all about my son - his life - every decision I make is based on how it will affect him.

Some may argue it isn't healthy for me to give up so much of me but if it makes me happy & satisfied knowing that I am doing everything I possibly can to give my son the best, then let me be!

Having a child means you need to sacrifice many things in your own life & I'd do it over & over & over again - I love my son - he makes me complete. I just hope that I am doing all the right things to help him become a happy, successful, and secure man! So far I am in awe of all his lil' successes & it's so wonderful to see a tiny version of you running around!

Answer 4

I believe it is different when it is your own children. The people who make good parents definitely do change when they become parents. The children have to come first all the time whether you like it or not. You can want to protect your siblings quite strongly but for the most part it will be different for your own children. They are your sole responsibility, they trust in you 100% to provide for their every need. Their innocent and unconditional love is given to you from the moment they are born. You become more compassionate and sensitive and you have to worry about the state of society as they grow. Most people were probably good people to begin but the experience has to be lived to be fully understood. (ex.The feeling when you first hold your child) It's true that when they child id first born it is a tiring thing to get used to but even then you notice a difference. (You get up every few hours sometimes to feed and change your little one even when you would prefer to be sleeping-I used to watch her sleep at first! )
Some people don't change at all, they try to fit the child into their lifestyle. The child doesn't come first. I suppose they only had the child as an accessory.

Answer 5

I do believe that I listen more to details than I have done in the past. Caring for someone that is so small makes you feel special and loved. Like my 2 yr old was clenching my stuffed animal duck last night and I started to cry. I don't think I would have cried over a stuffed animal, unless one of my children was holding it. My memory for everything has turned to crap, but my memory as a parents has no problem, because I am always on my toes. I'm the youngest of 4, so I never had an young siblings, but I always set an example of parenting for my older siblings. Like I'll show them the way, and they learn. I always wanted to be a parent and I got my wish.

Answer 6

babies are so sweet and you feel you can shape their worlds... and you want to make the world a better place for your child (a child's world starts at home). THEN they grow older and make you crazy and never listen to a single word of good advice that you give them. parenting is frustrating in the latter part of adolescents.

as for the desire to become a better person to set an example for younger siblings... NO that doesn't happen. children are SELFISH and need repeated reminders about attitude adjustments. it's been my experience that young siblings are just a hassle to their older siblings... always into their things, in their way, "stealing" their parents time and attention... hence the word SIBLING RIVALRY.

have a good day!

Answer 7

Having a Child made me grow up quick. Suddenly it was about being healthy for the baby, Having money to get things for the child. Responsibility, Setting a good example and giving you child a better life than you had,

Answer 8

Yes, it truly changes you. It makes you realize that there are more important things in life than where to go eat and what you should wear. Children are God's gifts to us, and they are so very special. Siblings also have a special part in our hearts, but when you have a child of your own (conception or adoption) it is wonderful.

Answer 9

I think it could be just as strong for a sibling, if you are role model for them...I know for sure it is true when you have a child, but I don't think that is the only time that type of thing can happen!

Answer 10

I don't know if you change in an instant, for the first 3 months you are too tired to form a coherent sentence. Then gradually you see how much you want for your child and when they start talking they copy what you do, so you really pay attention then.