How can infidelity enhance a relationship?........?

Question

I have heard some people say that infedility has enhanced their relationship, how can this be? when all the other partner will be thinking about is what had happened between their partner and the other person........give me your views on this?......can infidelity really enhance a relationship?......and if so please explain why?

Answer 1

Do extramarital affairs help or destroy a marriage?
A lot of people say that having such affairs helped them solve the problems they had with their spouses, while other people’s marriages are destroyed by them. Do partners feel more comfortable in relationships outside their marriage and what could be the cause of that?

Studies conducted argues that unfaithfulness is not normal or acceptable, have shown that first-time divorce occurs in the wake of an affair; yet it also states that ’a crisis of infidelity can reawaken a petrified marriage and therapy can save the adulterous marriage’, something in total contradiction with our traditional culture.

Which should we believe than? Studies lead us to believe that the second possibility should be seriously considered; in interviewing women engaged in extramarital affairs, it was found that over half of them had improved their relationships with their husbands as a result of the affair. The fact that their needs were being met outside the marriage caused a change in their behavior in the marriage, as one woman reported:

“Since I have this second relationship on-going, I have been able to draw my husband out more and get him to talk more... and to be more open in expressing my feelings with him.... I am slowly but surely trying to bring our relationship up to a level that meets more of my needs.”

The expressive area seems to be the most troubled one in these marriages, as the unfaithful wives sustained.

According to another study extramarital relationships occur because “we are unrealistic about love and the ability of our spouse to satisfy all our sexual needs”. it concludes that there are untrue myths that contribute to our faith in sexual exclusivity: one person will supply all of another’s emotional, social, and sexual needs people grow to love each other more through the years sexual exclusivity comes easily and naturally husbands and wives should be best friends extramarital affairs will destroy a marriage

But lets examine this situation from the men’s point of view as well. Women and men have different expectations in extramarital relationships and while women report that their affairs are less for sexual fulfillment and more for emotional support and companionship, the most frequent reason men give for being unfaithful is either sexual rejection by their wives or the boredom of having repeated sex with the same person. The sexual excitement is a much stronger motive to cheat than for women, yet women are always more to blame for the affair than men, regardless of which one is married (we do not even have “other men”).

Studies in the 1980’s have shown that relationships between married men and single women are often closer than those between the man and his wife are. This happens for several reasons: she becomes more attached to him due to the support and listening he shows; studies also report some women prefer the mistress role because this life is more interesting than that of a wife. Women also seem to develop a higher sense of confidence as lovers. The men are more likely to expose their insecurities in this kind of relationships, which strengthens the bond between them even more.

We could probably conclude that a lot of the success of an affair is due to the erroneous assumptions concerning marriage that we make, influenced by social factors, but also to the fact that these affairs give you more ’personal space’ than marriages do.

Thank you>r

Answer 2

In some cases it can, in most it doesnt. I think it has to do with why..
Nothing justifies being unfaithful, and nothing will ever make it easy to accept. It can certainly make you think about the relationship and whats wrong or right in it. If someones unfaithful becuase you arent providing what they need... its a reality check for the one being "cheated on".
This is very specific infedility is not cheating... and the language used.. suggests that it was somewhat justified. Majority of people wont reply to infedility with "why, and what can i do to make our relationship better" if the why is true..like..
2 people love each other are in a long term relationship one of them leaves for school.. or work for a long period of time..weeks.. they rarely call in their leave... The relationship isnt the same.. they dont talk much... one is unfaithful (just happens). When they return they are technically still in a relationship. From that point on.. they can either just part or change the situation. The reason for infedility is just a lack of something to be faithfull to. Is it fair to hold someone accountable if your not even there?
There is a "why?".. and a "what you gonna do about it?" every situation is different, any relationship that can put things aside and look at the bigger picture is worth having. Infidelity isnt worth putting up with in most cases.
Truth will set you free.. eventually :)
Flings.. are more easy to accept than a real side relationship. And more likely to be ignored/forgiven at some point.

Answer 3

the women already sound like she has insecurities. Bringing other women into this relationship is only going to exaggerate that . Will this marriage continue, ya it could very well as long as the women is allowing this man to take advantage of her. It works because the man is dominating the relationship and things work the way he wants. If something in the relationship would change that had him feeling inferior, it would be a far different story. In most relationships one person loves more , gives more, cares more and the other person??? well they controls the relationship. A good way to think of things, is would I want my daughter, sister, or friend to be treated like that? If not then its not right.

Answer 4

It doesn't. I've heard stories that it has but I bet the husband secretly cheated and overwhelmed with guilt and since the wife cheated he doesn't feel as guilty anymore because they're even. Other than that I don't see how it can help a relationship. If my wife cheated on me you can bet I'll stop paying our bills and I'll move into an apartment and she can fend for herself or go move in with the other man..who is probably married also which is usually the case.

Answer 5

NO! Infidelity is the worst form of betrayal there is. It takes unusually strong, self-confident and good person to forgive it, and only through that forgiveness and true remorse of a person who did it can maybe the relationship enhance. But maybe!

Answer 6

well, if u cheat with someone and he/she is really lousy and ugly u would think that your current partner is better. otherwise i wouldn't break my head over all this stuff. if u need to enchance relationships it's time to end it

Answer 7

this question is crazy. infidelity does not enhance a relationship. it downright ruins it!

Answer 8

i think that you are boring and that you take yourself way too seriously.