would you stay with someone for the sake of the children?

Answer 1

I made the mistake of "staying for the children", wasnt until i left that i realised how much pressure i'd really put them under.
Kids see and hear a lot more than we give them credit for, once i'd left my children changed so much, they were happier and didnt seem to care that we were no longer together, all they want is to see their dad without us fighting.
We use the term "staying for the kids" as an excuse because we are too frightened of what may lay ahead for us if we leave.
I honestly believe that staying in a relationship where the love is gone is pointless, your kids learn all their relationship qualities from us, what are we teaching them about love if we stay?
I will never make that mistake again, one year down the line and we are all happier and healthier people for it.

Answer 2

There are several things to consider "for the sake of the children" If you split will the economic difference be undesirable for them? Do you 2 get along OK and would it be hard for both of you to remain in their lives if you were apart? You hear that staying together if you're miserable makes them miserable. Then there's also the economic reality that when you divide a household your money only goes 1/2 as far. You do have a bit of responsibility to these kids whether things are all hearts and flowers between you two. If it's so bad and you can afford it and both parents can still be present in the kids lives, then staying together is not a good idea....But if you may lose insurance benefits, if it may be a struggle to get by, if it requires that one parent become primary caregiver and the other is on the sidelines or maybe not even there, then it'as entirely different.

Answer 3

It depends on circumtances, it is very different for the very poor and very rich, to the rest of us. For ordinary hard working people If the relationship has hit the rocks then splitting up can appear attractive, but, normally the same income has to pay for two homes, in my friends cases two tiny shoeboxes instead of a decent family home, so poverty raises its head as does neglect of the children as both parents will be working and there is no one to cover when the partner with the children is working, this becomes critical at early teen age.
For those with no need to work, rich or benefit grabber, then the problems do not arise, no need to work, home all day to look after kids except when out on the pull, so why have a relationship at all, especially benefit grabbers, the ladies might jut as well pull the first monied bloke, quick burst of unprotected passion and the benefits and CSA money folls in. They are better off with a different partner for each kid, and the last thing they need is a bloke around the house, why, they might even need to clean up once in a blue moon if he wanted his mates over.

Answer 4

I did it for 10 years, while I still think I did the right thing, this may not be so for someone else. For example if he is abusive or cheating or other really bad things you need to leave and dont stay for the children. But if you just feel the need to be free, I think it may be worth the effort to stay. It also depends on the age of the kids. If they are really young then now may be the time to get out before they turn say 6 to 8 years old because that is the age where it really starts to affect them. It really depends on the situation. I think you need to give more details.

Answer 5

I have been doing it for 8 years but now my child is old enough for the bond between us to never be broken it is time to let mum and dad get on with their lives before it's too late for either of us to start again. You may think I have thrown away my life to achieve this bond but if I had given it any less time my child would forget me in a few short years. I know this to be true. There is still enough time to start again and the future looks bright, and if I don't have anymore children at least I will always have my first. I don't think it was the wrong thing to do for the two of us no. My child has had a happy life and loves us both unconditionally and is the most upbeat balanced funfilled child I know so I think we did the best for him

Answer 6

No I would not! I am a single mom and my mom was a single mom and it would of been worse for the children and your insanity to stay with someone that you are not happy with. Trust me they hear those fights and bickering and it will effect them for the rest of their life. It may be hard in the beginning but it will get better. There are certain ages though that a divorce could effect them more. I think between the ages of 5 and 12 it is worse. I can not remember the exact ages but that is what I heard. Good luck!

Answer 7

yes when neccessary, but then again... if staying with him means fighting everyday and having tensions around the children then I would suggest leaving for the sake of the children.
It is proven scienticaly that parents and their children shares a certain bond in personal feelings. When the parents are stressed and frustated, the children (even not knowing what happens between the parents) will feel the stress and frustation.

Answer 8

I don't belive that staying together for children is a good idea.

The reason you would think that is so that you can give your children a more balanced and happy upbringing, but what you fail to realise is that children are very perceptive and sensitive.

They will pick up that there is something wrong at home, and this will cause them more suferring than good.

Best bet is to split, and reliase that the 2 of you need to do what is best for your children, and therefore be matire and sensitive to there needs during the split and thereafter!

Answer 9

No because its better for the children if you separate. Because children can sense things and its not fair on anybody. Its best to make a clean break but let the children know that you will always be there for them and that you love them very much

Answer 10

absolutely not.. When my ex husband and I were not getting along. I did try to stick with it for my daughter at the time. I was more worried about her. I did not want to be another divorced mom. I did my best. but in the end it was not worth it. It is not good for the children. It does not get better it just gets worse.

trust me the best thing that i did was put my daughter first. yeah, i was divorced raising her alone but that was fine. He was much happier in the end. Now, she has a wonderful stepfather and brothers and sisters.

dont stick it out for the children. they may seem fine on the outside, but if youre not happy they do sense it. and see it. and they will keep it in... good luck.