I have agreat guy who i adore and i know adores me but i just cannot bring myself to trust him ( i do when he is sober ) The thought of him going out with the lads drives me insane and makes me feel physically sick. I hate myself for feeling that way how can i stop it??
2006-11-28 21:35:03 · 17 answers · asked by angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has never actually done anything to make me not trust him. We have been together well over a year and have agreat relationship. He totally understands and i don't go mad at him or say he can';t do anything. He often wont go because he doesn't want me to feel that way. I'm saying this cos it seems some people think this question is cos of him. What i want is advice on how I deal with myself feeling like that not finish him etc cos this isnt his fault :-P
2006-11-29 07:09:32 · update #1
Jealousy is a destructive emotion. It grips and distorts reality. I have experienced it and to be honest at the end of the day it was not worth the tears and the pain. Something in your past has you feeling this way.....has someone hurt you before? If so that is the past this is the present try to realise that to love is to also be free....and if it is love they will always come back if it is not then they won;t and feeling screwed inside and tense does not altar this fact. Thing is in the end jealousy can even drive the wedge wehre there never needed to be one. So step back.....if he goes out with the lads you go out with teh girls. It is unrealistic to expect him to give up his friends because he loves you and equally would be for him to expect this of you.
Deep breaths and a close look at reality and relax and ejoy the love of a good man.
2006-11-28 22:50:41 · answer #1 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant stop an emotion like jealousy but you can control it. I went way off the deep end one very drunken night and nearly lost a great guy, so I've had to learn to keep these emotions in check. Must do is a good master!! Try being more sociable, when he goes out with the lads, have a night in/out wit your own mates but give somebody your mobile phone because no man appreciates 27 drunken phone calls when he's out wit the lads, so resist the urge!! But seriously, just go out and have so much fun, you stop worrying about what he's up to. Clingyness and insecurity are not attractive, bolster your confidence so your man knows what a great girl he has.
2006-11-28 22:15:47 · answer #2 · answered by green cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cant trust him 100% all the time, then he ain the guy for you. Your insecure feelings and jealousy will only eat away at you and then make everything seem worse. Its not worth the pain. Try going out with your friends and just leave him to go out with his, but dont go stalking him and texting him every 5 mins to ask him what hes doing. If you start suffocating him, then he just might cheat on you. But if I was you I would finish with him, give yourself a break from being with someone and see what happens!
2006-11-28 21:43:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to this problem. My boyfriend spends the at least one day of the weekend 4-wheeling with his friends and sometimes it bothers me because I don't know who his friends brought with them and I am at home or somewhere else. But I have also learned that stressing yourself out over your guy going out with his friends only leads to problems later on. And, yes it used to drive me crazy because I thought he was just trying to use 4-wheeling as an excuse to get away from me but thats not the case he just likes going and thats what him and his friends do on the weekends. You gotta give them their space, then if you find that you can't trust him because he has broken that trust then you need to end it, because its not gonna get any better. Good Luck!
2006-11-28 22:17:50 · answer #4 · answered by Emily M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same feeling more so when my girlfriend is drunk. She also has it for me too though. I guess you just have to put your feelings aside and let it happen. Do not argue for these reasons. The relationship will go nowhere and you will just end up splitting up. It's hard I know. I feel really miffed off but atleast if you show respect for them. They will show respect for you. If he goes out why don't you? You don't have to stay in waiting for them. That will just make you paranoid and you will start getting angry etc. Just try things to keep your mind off it all. Good Luck
2006-11-28 21:42:32 · answer #5 · answered by phobzy85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh girl, I feel for you. If your relationship is new, these type of feelings can kill it. You really should be together alot anyways for the first couple of months, then you start doing things separate and with your own friends. One thing that helps keep a relationship strong is, if you and he only make friends w/ other couples/ no singles. It's those single friends of his and yours that will try to ruin what you and he have together.
2006-11-28 21:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is hard, but try not to, by being this way it will only end up in him resenting you and kicking you into touch! I was like this with an ex gf for 5 years and in the end it got too much for her, she felt stifled and like she was imprisoned (not that she was, she just felt that way as i was so insecure and didnt like her going out ect..) as hard as it is, my advice is DONT DO IT if you really love them, give them the benefit and believe that they love you too. You need time apart in anycase to build a healthy relationship.. Good Luck
2006-11-28 22:46:32 · answer #7 · answered by steve_mawson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This relationship, or any other you have, will not last until you get over this jealousy. It will be a source of unnecessary stress that most normal people will get sick of eventually and leave. You may need to see a psychiatrist if it's ruining your life.
2006-11-28 21:39:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to feel like that, but i just thought to myself....if he is going to cheat he will and there is nothing i can do about it.
From that day i chilled and we have a great relationship....together for 8 yrs married for 5!
2006-11-28 22:19:21 · answer #9 · answered by Cherry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am having the same exact problem........i have been in an area where i nearelly suicide...do u know what drive him crazy too by jealouse....get alot og boys and call them frinds...maby u can call ur exs to help u....and let him be mad .....if u r strong enough to do such...but if u weren't just....don't hit the bottom...sometimes u will wish to hit the bottom.....but u will fell as if u r falling and falling and there is no end!
2006-11-28 22:02:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋