1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
20. I intend to live forever - so far so good.
21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
23. My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.
24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
48. Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
49. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
2006-11-28 21:07:56 · 9 answers · asked by happyclown5769 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ya ya ya i know, its hella long sorry their usally not this long i had to throw in a curveball
2006-11-28 21:14:13 · update #1
Good lord I was laughing all the way down! I think I woke the neighbors. No lifeguard! WAHAHA!
2006-11-28 22:32:30 · answer #1 · answered by Roll'n Bluntz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my good thing is sometimes my worst quality, and my bad thing is sometimes my good quality... Good - Like you I'm overly honest, but many times to a fault. For some reason I never think of "cushioning" some of my truths. Of course this one is good too because I'm a very trustworthy person which is something that everyone enjoys having around. Bad - Very competitive, when I get into something, I get into it BIG TIME, while I don't resort to cheating or anything, I can be very hyperactive and obnoxious occasionally during it. On a positive for this one though, I am never willing to give up no matter how bleek the situation may seem because of this strong competitive spirit.
2016-03-29 15:26:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are all so true. I love #54. I would never skydive, I'm afraid of heights, even ceilings!!
2006-11-29 18:58:24 · answer #3 · answered by nevada nomad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That took a long time to get to the bottom but I guess my time was worth it. Did you get those from bored.com?
2006-11-28 21:42:35 · answer #4 · answered by Hardrock 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanx for sharing those with me.It was worth reading.
2006-11-28 22:04:28 · answer #5 · answered by lilypond868 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Great things you taught us 2 day! I will print those!
2006-11-28 21:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
long but good
2006-11-28 23:13:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay toooooooooooo loooooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg...
2006-11-28 21:12:15 · answer #8 · answered by Vicky_Icky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
55. thanks for sharing..sharing is caring..
2006-11-28 21:20:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋