if you were adopted and you found your birth mother?

Question

and she didn't want to get to know you or have anything to do with you what would your reaction be mad, sad,& what would you do about it feeling ect.?

Answer 1

IS THERE A REASON FOR HER BEHAIVOUR? IF NO, FORGET HER SHE DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR LOVE.

Answer 2

Yes for the most part I would be sad, but I do not think it would be shocking because she did give me up. I would if I had the chance to tell her that I hope the rest of days are happy and keep on my way. If I had good adoptive parents, I would be much more grateful because I would be knowing that my life would not have been so good if I was with a mother that did not want me. I would hold my head high and not look back.

Answer 3

I was adopted at 5 years old and now am the mother of an adopted son. I "found" my birth mother at the age of 25 because it was something I had to do. I needed to find out who I was. Maybe because I had been in foster homes for the first 5 years of my life, I always felt like I did not fit so I searched until I found my birth mother.

Although she did not turn her back on me and it answered questions about who I was, the woman herself was nothing more than a stranger to me that thought she still had the influance and rights of a mother. Nothing I did was what she thought I should do, nothing was good enough for her and it got so bad that now I do not even speak to her. I had a mother and I was not looking for a stranger that knew nothing about me to try and become one.

I felt all those feelings you ask about but it was not bad. It got rid of the fantasy about how wonderful my life would have been had my mother not given me away and made me accept responsability for who I am and what I will become.

My son's birth mother is someone that someday I may have to try and explain to my son and I dread that moment. I know her, I grew up with her as the sister of my best friend but she is an addict and a streetwalker. I will explain to him that she is sick and unable to have taken care of him but should he desire to find her later in his life... my heart will break for him but I will understand and support him.

My son is 7 and he has always known that he is adopted. For now he thinks he is special and that he is God's gift to us. I am sure as he gets older the questions will come and we will deal with it when it happens..

I hope this helps a little

Answer 4

I would hope I would realize that when babies are placed for adoption it is often because their biological mothers aren't particularly "mother material". I would hope I would realize that I was strangers with this woman because even though she gave me whatever genes I have, I would know that my personality and to some degree even something like my weight were shaped by my adoptive mother. (Do you realize that during the first three years of life whatever brain connections you formed were formed by your adoptive mother? In other words, you were born with a certain brain potential; but then what connections got made were all about the nurturing. You are a different person than you would have been had the biological mother kept you.)

I would realize that this person who placed me for adoption, while certainly doing what she believed was best for me, was essentially a stranger to me; and I would hope I wouldn't care much.

See - I'm an adoptive mother and the mother of biological children as well. I know how there's no difference in how I feel about any of them. I know how scared I was when my son met his biological family, and I know, too, how he pretty much discovered that he belongs with me and his adopted siblings. For good or ill, it is so clear my son is from our family and has little in common with his biological mother.

I used to imagine what I'd do if I suddenly discovered I was adopted by my parents (I wasn't, so maybe I couldn't really imagine), and I always said if I found out tomorrow I wouldn't even care.

As an adoptive mother I seem to have come around to seeing that biological mothers aren't always what they're cracked up to be. Adopted children need to read up on how little their "blood line" impacts what they are as people, and just kind of see the fact that they're adopted as a relatively minor thing in their life.

Answer 5

im fostered and my mum doesnt want to see me i was mad and sad at the same time but i got used to it after a while. Ive moved on in my life.

Answer 6

I'd let her be. It was her decision to cast me out, and if she didnt want anything to do with you, you cant harrass them. I guess anyone would be overjoyed at finding their birth mother, but then rejected and let down because you really wanted it.

:)