help me what am i going to do?

Question

i know dating is suppose to be fun i had a really bad relationship it has been at least 2 yrs and i vowed that i would never let another man get close to me again unless i knew that he really cared i am seeing someone now been about 2-3 wks he cant come to my home he wanted me to cook for him i aint cooking for no one i will even lay off the calling dont want to much into nonthing until i know i am just so scared that i know if i dont put anything in it i wont be hurt am i to overboard sometimes it is almost easier not to date so i wont have to go through this i was always th yes woman not any more giving when i saw red flags cause i thought that would keep him around

Answer 1

hi there im sorry that you have been so badly hurt in youre last relationship ......but you have either moved on to this one with out giving youre self any time to get over what happened in the last one or it's that you are so scared of getting hurt .......look im going to be straight and only you can answer these questions ....ok ??!!has this new guy down anything to hurt you .....does he treat you nice and well,does he show you affection that makes you feel safe and happy ......if he has then please give this guy a break and try this relationship a real chance as you are not being fair to this guy ,if he has done nothing to hurt you then you are blaming him for youre last relationship which when you look at it that way surly you can see that this is not fair on him or you for that matter .........why do you not invite him round and cook him a meal and have a great evening together ,letting him know that the next eal is being cooked by him !! even if it is beans on toast......and 2 mugs of coffee,.....i know what im talking about hear as i was in a really bad relationship for 21 years and i got really badly hurt with hitting and mind ghames but with a bit of trust and allowing myself to move on and knowing that i could get hurt but i also knew that if that happened to happen i did not need to keep all that pain for all those years that i could walk away and that would be that ,im now in a great relationship where we have a laugh and yes we have the odd fall out like all couples but the best bit about that is making back up ........please if this man has done you no harm this could be the best relationship that you could imagine .....talk to this man and let him in youre head just a little bit and see what happens the worst thing that can happen is to be proved right .....and you are already expecting the worst thing to happen in this relationship .........if you want to stay in contact im happy to chat to you ...........look after youre self and good luck with this guy ......take care xx

Answer 2

okay but you like this man. So why not be honest with him and upfront. just explain you have been badly hurt by someone else and though you like this man he's rushing you to fast in 2-3 weeks time and now wants to come over and you cook dinner. Say to him that he is going to fast and your not ready for this.

You see you have to learn that you can say no and that you have a voice. in the past you call yourself a yes woman. probably because you want to make everyone happy but what your doing in the meantime is not making yourself happy. So don't throw this man away if you like him . Just tell him to slow down a bit and you will let him know when your ready and you will do the inviting for him.. He probably doesn't know you feel this way.

And this is a good opportunity for you to change your old habits by always saying yes.

Just remember whether its this man or the next always speak up on how you feeel if your not ready you dont' do it. Thats the easiest way to remember .. IF YOUR NOT READY then the answer is NO simple as that.

Answer 3

Then I say work it on the corner. Let your hatred make you some money.