i lost a baby girl in march due to spontaneous birth. her father n i split because we dealt with the pain in different ways. i got depressed and suicidal and he turned to heroin. i really loved him so much but needles make me sick and id never be with him again because im all set with catching Aids or Hep or whatever else may be around. but now i cant seemto find anyone. i feel lonely.. i work work work and that sall to keep busy and when i do meet people i kinda shun them off. how do i start being more social and how do i let someone back in?
2006-11-28 20:05:03 · 13 answers · asked by julie092179 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am sorry for your lose. Well yes many guys are like he was. When it comes to dating you first have to come to a point of knowing yourself first. This is execaped most young woman today and truth be know God wants to teach you who he is and who you are to be. That takes a commitment on your part for a time to get out of the world and into his word. A develope a relationship with him. Then allow him to bring you the person that he has planned for you to marry. He will bring a person into your life that will be a blessing and not a curse. God designed marriage and even sex. All he really wants is a relationship with his creation. Today world tells us go have sex have kids and good luck and they will then attach you at every turn and try to steal what joy you might have. So God wants first to help you discover who you are and help you to change into the woman he desires for you to be. Then he will honor you by bring the right husband into your life. A God fearing man that will not be hurting you and will put your needs above his own. A gentle yeat approachable man who is able to love from his heart.
2006-11-28 20:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by adsdetailing 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetheart, you are depressed. I am really sorry for your loss!
Go to Barnes and Nobles, get a coffee, find some recovery/self-help books (whatever 'speaks' to you at the time) and sit in one of those big, fat chairs and read. Reading about how to deal with your feelings of loss will really help YOU.
Finding a new person seems like what you need, but you may not be ready yet.
Work on healing your heart - then love will come easily.
Good luck!
2006-11-28 20:10:54 · answer #2 · answered by Quinn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have had 2 huge losses since March that resulted from forces that were out of your control. I support your not getting back with your husband since he is using heroin.
I think it is too soon to expect your self to be able to open up emotionally to a new man. In fact, I think one of the big challenges that people have who have lost a marriage relationship is to not get back in another serious relationship before you heal from the first one.
My wife left me 5 years ago when she realized that I wasn't going to be better after an orthopedic surgery and that I would be physically disabled. I know what it is to suffer more than 1 major loss in a short period of time.
It helped me a lot to go to a separated and divorced support group so that I could talk with others that were recently divorced. I also read several books about surviving after a devorce.
I believe you have a big advantage because you know what caused you and your husband to split ( the miscarriage). I think that 1 of the keys to start to trust other men again is to meet them in a group situation where you can get to know them before you date them.
Singles groups are 1 way to do this. Another way is to become more active in church, especially in youth activities where you will be among men who are single and hopefully better than average.
The other thing that I found extremely helpful to recover from my losses was to get closer to God. He has been so helpful in my life, and to know that the God who created the universe loves me and is active in my life, has been the most comforting thing to me.
If you haven't seen a professional counselor, I think you should. To be depressed to the point of being suicidal is a serious thing and nothing to fool around with.
God bless you.
2006-11-28 20:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not all blokes are the same some are kind caring and considerate, you've had a terrible amount of pain to deal with so try take it one day at a time, One thing in life is not to make sure we dont fall down but to get up when we have fallen.
2006-11-28 20:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by chick douglas 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What about taking a little time for yourself Julie.I know the death of a baby is hard to deal with as I have been threw the same many years ago.It takes a long time to get things on track again.Sometimes we all need a little time alone to gather our thoughts and get a fresh perspective on things .Be patient, it sounds like its been a rough 8 months or so on you .Take of Julie right now... and let life straighten itself out
2006-11-28 20:14:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, you need to come to terms with the grief... Bereavement Counselling would help... Or some support group for people who deal with childrens deaths...
Perhaps you should try some forms of relaxation, like yoga or martial arts or something similar where you will come into contact with other people and get more socially active..
2006-11-28 20:11:32 · answer #6 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your time let it come to you there's someone out there for everyone love will come to you I know what your talking about I just left my kids father of four years because of abuse now I have someone who will move the earth for me and a baby on the way
2006-11-28 20:10:28 · answer #7 · answered by Lil Lady 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to get over your loss first before you can get another person involved.
Go seek professional help. Depression can be very harmful.
Suround yourself with friends and family, you have to learn to enjoy life again.
You have to learn to leave the past in the past and make your future brighter:)
2006-11-28 20:12:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If what ur saying is true thaen go to a counseller for professional help.
2006-11-28 20:07:39 · answer #9 · answered by vio_prince 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You may want to consider therapy, it isn't as bad as it may sound. And, it could really help you through your grief.
2006-11-28 20:08:15 · answer #10 · answered by who said that? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋