acute depression?

Question

i need advice on how to get over a love not meant to be?

he said " i dont know what youre feelings are for me now...but i know you understand that there is nothing and never will be.."
"you have been a great friend and thats all i want from you"

it hurts alot. i have eaten too much chocolate already. i want serious help. wat do i do now? remain friends? it wud hurt..or if i chuck our friendship, i would lose my best friend.
i have tried distracting myself but i am so depressed

Answer 1

You are certainly entitled to your feelings of loss and sorrow in this situation. But there has to come a time when you slowly start to care much much less. This other person will experience the very same rejection from someone else, that is a guarantee! Personally, I feel that this person valued you enough to tell you straight from their heart. So many people we admire take advantage of our vulnerability and use us. Now imagine the fallout from being left after being used! This person has honorable intentions. Your choices are evident. Either abide by this person's commital of friendship, or make YOUR CHOICE to abandon them due to the fact that, "it just makes you feel better."
That is something YOU have complete control over. YOURSELF and NO ONE should Ever take a front seat over your very precious emotional feelings. Fix yourself by realizing there are too many others and so little time. Get busy. You will also be much more attractive by staying busy. YOU do have a life of your own. YOU work people in when you want to! Do not give up the power of you to anyone! Good Luck

Answer 2

MOOD ENHANCER
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Kava (root extract)100 mg
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Answer 3

last night, I suddenly realized that the guy I had dreamt about for the past twelve years died in 2001. ;)

I could say he wasn't right for you, but i won't. Friendship is a better relationship than love anyway; ever heard of divorced friends? i haven't.

Find a hunk who is just eye-candy. Then you have the good friend guy you can't loose and can talk to whenever you like and the eye-candy for .... whatever reason. ;)

Take your time to weep. A storm always clears the air ;)

Answer 4

This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in, for FREE

http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/

Answer 5

It would be best if you just did not see him again because it only hurts you. He has been honest with you and that is really good.

Now you brush yourself off and go out with friends, study, work, have fun and forget him

Answer 6

aww u poor grl! he's an ***hole!! i think u shud dump him as a friend cus he isnt worth it. its hard to stay friends, and why shud u worry about him when u can get other friends? hes not gonna b eur best friend 4ever anyways. Good luck!

Answer 7

try to wish good positive things for this person and soon they will start to come to you be sincere

Answer 8

forget about it/just forget about him /he would only do harm to u

Answer 9

Depression is a common condition, 15% of the population will suffer from clinical depression at some point in their lives.

Everybody has periods where they feel low, or down. These are normal emotions, and appropriate after bad news, bereavement and so forth. However, depression – the illness, is persistent, and help is required to recover. The difference with depression is when the unhappiness is without cause, or lasts much longer and is out of proportion to circumstances, or seems beyond the sufferers personal control to manage.

Depression affects people differently. Some are mildly affected – often known as dysthymia, and manage to function despite their condition. Others may be severely depressed and find it very difficult to carry out even the most basic tasks., such as washing and dressing.

There are also different types of depression, such as the episodes of depression, followed by elation in manic depression (bipolar affective disorder, SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and PND (post natal depression).

Spike Milligan and Winston Churchill were two famous manic depressives. Depression is not selective of class, status or upbringing.

SYMPTOMS

Symptoms are many, varied and not all sufferers will exhibit the same problems. They may include:

Continual low mood
Feeling of inadequacy
Feeling “tearful” and “emotional”
Irritability
Anger / aggression
Anxiety
Lack of motivation
Lack of social interest
Poor personal care
Irrational / guilty thoughts
Feeling of hopelessness
Suicidal thoughts
Tired all the time
Loss of appetite / weight
Comfort eating
Inability to sleep
Disturbed sleep
Loss of concentration
Sleeping too much / not waking refreshed
Loss of libido
Avoiding people / social situations
Lack of energy
Feeling physically ill
Extreme lethargy
Bleak and pessimistic view of the future

N.B. Anxiety and depression are closely linked. Anxiety can cause depression, and depression can cause anxiety.



SO WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS?

Depression is a complex illness, and can occur for several reasons.

In a person suffering from depression, levels of neuro-transmitters are lowered. One of these is serotonin (5-hydroxytryptamine or 5HT).

It can be triggered as a result of a number of causes:

Social Circumstances
Unemployment, divorce or break down of relationship, bereavement, redundancy, sudden/dramatic change to personal circumstances

Physical Conditions

Glandular fever, influenza, anaemia, diseases such as multiple sclerosis, severe arthritis, and treatments such as chemotherapy and radiotherapy

Hormonal Changes
Pregnancy, resulting in PND – about 10% of all women experience significant PND. Depression presents more commonly in women (this may also be because men are more reluctant to visit their doctor)

Psychological Conditions
Sufferers of anxiety may also find they develop depression. Unresolved psychological issues also contribute. About 60% of people suffering chronically with anxiety and panic will also develop associated depression.

Drug and Alcohol Abuse

WHAT TREATMENTS ARE AVAILABLE?

Each sufferer is an individual, and treatments vary. Many people combine treatments for optimum effect, i.e. medication and counselling. The preferred choice at present is SSRI’s along with CBT. The medication is to lift the mood enough to be able to take on board and learn skills needed to overcome the condition long term.

The first step is to visit your GP. They can confirm your diagnosis and ensure your depression does not have a physical cause. You must be prepared to be honest with yourself and your GP. If you have some unresolved issues, medication alone will not provide a cure, and your GP can recommend you for some form of therapy.

Therapy
This may include Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or counselling. All health authorities have a Community Mental Health Team, who will be able to select and provide appropriate treatment upon your referral by your GP. If you really feel you need it, do not be afraid to request a referral.
Medication
There are several different types of anti-depressants. You are likely to be offered one of the following types:

SSRI – (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors), the most known household brand name being Prozac (fluoxetine) but now include a whole stable of closely related medicines
Tricyclic antidepressants
MAOI (monoamine oxidase inhibitors)
Moclobemide
Different people respond better to different drugs, and different categories of depression respond better to different drugs to, so there may be a degree of trial and error before you find the right one for you. There is no universal wonder drug, and what worked for your friend may not be beneficial to you.

Before you go to your GP, you may like to make a list of lifestyle considerations to discuss the most suitable medication. For example, if you lead a busy life, or drive for a living, a drug which makes you drowsy may not suit, where if you have problems sleeping at night it may be beneficial.

There are several sites on the internet which explain in detail each type of medication, and their possible side effects.

Anti-depressants are not addictive. However, you may suffer withdrawal symptoms if you stop taking them suddenly. Any withdrawal should be gradual and under medical supervision.

Alternative Medicine
St Johns Wort is a herbal remedy, which has a similar effect to SSRI’s and is commonly used in the treatment of depression. Do research this carefully before starting yourself on this. It can be very effective but can also have some severe interactions with medication you may be taking for other medical conditions so if you are on any other prescribed medication at all please do not take this without taking specialist advice.



SIDE EFFECTS AND CONTRA-INDICATIONS

ALL medicines have the potential to cause side effects, some of which may be unpleasant. Most side effects only occur during the first few weeks of starting to take the medication, and then disappear. If you are taking the medication and have panic or anxiety – it is not uncommon for this to get worse for a few weeks before the benefit is felt. It can be helpful in these circumstances to drop your dose and gradually increase it.

However, many people take these medicines without experiencing any side-effects.

You should also ensure you tell your doctor about any medicines you use regularly. Some medications can react with each other, for example, St Johns Wort can effect the efficiency of the contraceptive pill, and decongestants shouldn’t be used with MAOI and tricyclic anti-depressants. With the MAOI family, there are also some important food restrictions too. Your GP may need to review they way you self medicate certain conditions.



SELF HELP

Sufferers can also do a lot to help themselves, by taking positive action to help improve their lives.

Diet
Ensure you eat a healthy nutritionally balanced diet, including plenty of water, fresh fruit and vegetables, and wholegrains and pulses.

Exercise
Exercise as regularly as possible, be it a brisk walk to the shops or round the park, a swim or joining the gym.

Reduce / Cut Down on Stimulants
Review alcohol, caffeine, nicotine and any “recreational” drugs taken. Stop or limit your intake. Swap tea / coffee for water, green, black or herbal teas. Set yourself limits and stick to them. You may choose to allow yourself two glasses of wine at a family celebration. Stick to your limit, and consider swapping wine for wine spritzer to make your drinks last longer

Relax
Sign up for yoga, Tai’chi or pilates. Buy a relaxation CD. Go for a massage. Indulge in a bubble bath.

Change the Pace
Do you need to do everything you do in your life? Do you need to do it when you do it? If not, slow the pace of your life down a little. Consider taking a short holiday.

Remove Stressors
Whilst it is never a good idea to make major lifestyle changes whilst suffering from depression, review your life with a view to reducing stress. If you have relationship problems, discuss them with your partner, visit Relate. If you have problems at work, discuss them with human resources or your manager.

Some stressors can be minor, but putting them off can cause unnecessary aggravation. These may be little things, like a car interior that needs cleaning, or a wardrobe that needs tidying. Find the time to deal with any issues that “bug” you, however small.

Keep Your Mind Occupied
Read a book, watch a film, phone a friend. Try not to simply “sit and dwell”. Take up a new hobby.

Keep a Mood Diary
Note how you feel each day, what stressors are present, what activities you’ve done, what you’ve eaten and drunk. Monitor for any patterns

Don’t Bottle It Up
Don’t keep your feelings to yourself. Explain to your close family and friends what you are experiencing. If necessary, educate them about your illness and treatment. Avoid people who tell you to pull yourself together, or to just get on with it! You have an illness, and cannot help the way you feel.

Rediscovery
Write down all the things that usually give you pleasure. These can be hobbies or experiences – reading, embroidery, playing squash, ice skating, trying out new recipes. Make time to read a book, sew a sampler, book a squash court

Create a Self Help Folder
Keep any information you find useful filed together, and use it for reference. This can include articles, journals, magazine cuttings, or even quotes or pictures that make you smile.

AND ABOVE ALL – STAY POSITIVE

Remember that depression is a treatable illness from which sufferers make a full recovery. Do not set any false time scales for recovery. Everybody is different. SSRIs can take 2 – 3 weeks before any benefit is felt. Medication may need to be continued from 6 months up to 2 years. Do not expect an immediate recovery once you have started treatment.

Some sufferers find that they may experience another period of depression at some point in their lives. This is quite common, and should not cause concern. It is very likely that you will notice the signs much sooner should it occur again, and can take appropriate action.



FURTHER INFORMATION

For more detailed information about depression, it’s causes and treatment, contact:

www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk

www.rcpsych.ac.uk

www.medinfo.co.uk

www.sane.org.uk

www.depressionalliance.org

www.samaritans.org.uk

www.mind.org.uk