can i trust him?

Question

sorry :( long story. My bf was known as being a player and only keeping relationships for 2 weeks. But then he met me, he couldnt get down my pants and he liked that. He was used to getting stuff though so at eight months i knew he was serious cause we didnt do anything. Problem is, I had trouble trusting him because he was a big flirt. We talked about everything so I told him and he said he was going to stop hugging and flirting with girls and he really did. It took him a little but he did, this was at our eight months. unfortunately though, we got tired of each other and he didnt know if he was ready for a serious relationship and I couldnt trust him and I couldnt speak his families language, russian, he broke up with me. A week after, he told me that he had oral sex and made out with two girls when he left to russia for a month. of course.. i asked him. so, three months passed, it was over the summer that we were broken up, and he left to russia again for a month. I was partying and

trying to just get over him, but then he started writing me online everyday just to talk, bc we were just friends at that point. When he came back he drove straight to the place my friend and I were eating and brought me a bracelet from russia. then we went to a party and got tipsy and ended up kissing, then we started dating for about three months. he was so different, goody boy now- no cussing, no flirting, no talking, calling me 2times a day, stopping by, telling me everything he does throughout the day so i dont think hes cheating. But then i found out from friends that he had sex with my best fr during the breakup... it wasthe girl i went to the whole summer to stop liking my ex. he said he didnt want to tell me because he thought about us and wanted to be with me. i was upset at what he did and i dont know whether or not i should even be with him right now. in addition hes modeling with girls and i just dont know if i should or could trust him. we were together 1.5 yrs b4 brkup

Answer 1

Do you really want advice? I mean, do you really, really want to hear TRUE opinions? Because it's to dump the Guy. Okay, But if he's not ready for monogamy and insists that it's okay if he flirts and is unfaithful, then honey, this is not a man worth keeping.

You're probably cringing, thinking, "But he's the love of my life!" Trust me, he's not. The love of your life will respect your needs and wishes, and won't disrespect you by being unfaithful or sleeping around with others. God help you if you end up marrying him then you be in worse trouble than you are in now!!

But if you're still not ready to give him the hook, at least give him an ultimatum: "Either you stop or it's over between us." Tell him that even though his "flings" are meaningless to him, they give you tremendous pain. If he truly cares for you, he won't take your threat lying down.

But, as I've said if you dilute an ultimatum by going back on it, you lose your power position and he'll continue dipping and snacking on the side and treat you as 'Dirt'. You'll know soon enough whether or not he can keep his pants zipped.

Word of Caution: "DONT TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF", my advise will be do not even let him touch as even fondling etc - period - your description of him shows he has only one thing in mind. The day he gets you, you will be hung in his room as another scalp or Trophy and you will be history and it will hurt you lots.

Sorry to end on a downer, but ask yourself if a man who has to be coerced into being faithful is likely to remain faithful over the long haul.
Good luck>

Answer 2

Too much drama. Find a good old American man.