Is it a good idea to move in with a boyfriend before marriage? - a question in general-
2006-11-28 19:33:14 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It totally depends on the situation. How long you have been together should weigh heavily on your decision. I would highly recommend not moving in if you are newly dating. Let the relationship advance first.
Also, have the 2 of you talked about what should or should not be expected of each other once you do move in together? Set some ground rules in advance and the transition will go much smoother.(bills, food, talk about how everything will be paid for.. split down the middle or are each of you going to cover different things each month?) It is hard merging 2 people into one house. Each of you will have your own expectations and it will NOT be the way either of you think.
Not all guys are just looking for someone to help with the bills or house.
I moved in with my boyfriend on my 18th birthday, after we had been seeing each other for 5 years. We moved in together and never looked back. I am now 30 and we are happily married with 4 children.
Good Luck!
2006-11-28 19:44:43 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am reading some of these answers and I am honestly in shock. I would like everyone to think about an answer for this question first: Would you want a man to be with you because he WANTS to or because he is supposedly trapped? Reassurance has to come from the relationship, not from the fact that 'OH he is married, he can't run now', I am shocked that people still think like that, in this day and age. Also, that would work for both parts then, maybe the woman will realise that she doesn't want to marry after all, so it's sexist to think otherwise.
Now, answering to your question, I do not think there is a right or wrong way. I think, depending on the situation, whether you are still living with your parents or living on your own, will make it more or less convenient to move in before the marriage. With that being said, you should be moving in together for the right reasons. I do not think that the time you have been dating is going to make a difference in this: I have known lots of stories of my friends and what I have seemed to conclude is : If it feels right, it feels right, and it will feel right eventually, whether you are together for 1 month or 10 years. Plus, dating and living together are completely different experiences. I'd rather live with someone first before considering marriage (but that's just me). If it doesn't work out, you can always move out, it's not that much of a deal. But during the time you are moving together, you will be aware of many things that you were not while you were only dating, so it will definitely help you making a decision if this is the man you want to marry with or not.
Good luck!
2015-04-08 20:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by Bubblegum 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would probably depend on how long you've known this boyfriend, and how strong your relationship is with him. You can be with someone for several years, and still not feel comfortable moving in with him, depending on the circumstances of why you want to move in. Is it mutual? Have you both already discussed 'marriage'? If you're a new couple, and have only been going out, less than a year, then maybe you should wait, because you would really need to know your boyfriend, and get over all the hurdles that will come your way.
Moving in too soon may cause a tremble in your relationship, if you're not careful, or moving too fast.
But, if you've been with this guy for some time, and know that this may be 'the one', then it could be taken seriously enough to ponder and consider, if BOTH of you are okay with that decision. It's a big decision to make, when deciding to share your space with someone.
2006-11-28 19:38:52 · answer #3 · answered by argamedius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
$1500 is NOT a lot of money. Depending on where you move, that may only last you two about a month. You have to consider food costs, toilettries, cable, laundry costs, internet, etc. There are so many extras that seem to "come up" when you move out and live on your own.... I moved out on my own for 1 year back when i was 19 - BIG mistake! I would have had so much more money and so many less worries. I think you and your bf should be realistic and move out together once you are in a secure financial state and/or married. Because if you two were realistic, you would realize that moving out at age 18 had no benefits. Especially if you sign a lease, you could risk messing up your credit if you can't pay your rent on time... which is something you will definitely regret! I'm not saying it's COMPLETELY stupid - it just was for me because it ended up not being worth it at all. I could have lived at home for free. I would stay at home as long as you can!
2016-05-23 01:18:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No! That "piece of paper" that is so often scoffed by at by hippies is the only thing that makes it so their isn't a clean break if times get tough. If you want guarantees or some sort of reassurance then you shouldn't be considering moving in or marriage.
2006-11-28 19:45:19 · answer #5 · answered by daniel c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not traditional but in today's soceity things are different. If you really care for this person and feel that he's the right one...then go ahead. So what it might not work out, live for the moment and follow your heart. Better that then getting married when you're not ready. This is away to get to know that person in many different ways.
2006-11-28 19:37:24 · answer #6 · answered by BondGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive heard opinions about this from older people and they say its a good idea becuase then you will truley know what the person is like if you live with them. It will probably make you guys stronger or grow further apart. So its a good relationship tester i guess.
2006-11-28 19:42:39 · answer #7 · answered by chika0284 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...men are like children. When you move in with them they are happy cause you are like a new toy, eventually though they get tired of you. I dont mean to be cynical but you have to be sure the man is really mature and he is not moving you in cause he needs help with the rent or wants in house sex. It seems once you move in they think they can do anything to you.
2006-11-28 19:37:05 · answer #8 · answered by anonbealove 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
nope, bad idea. shacking up is the dumbest thing you can do! why live with a man with no commitment...if you do this you'll be some free whore he can bang anytime he wants and some girlfriend who'll take care of him. you're asking for some tough times if u move in with this guy!
2006-11-28 19:39:08 · answer #9 · answered by abc 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
depends on the situation and person. me personally moved in with my boyfriend 5 years ago and still live with him. not everyone is the same tho
2006-11-28 19:35:55 · answer #10 · answered by Kittie_Nash 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋