it seems like theres a guys "club" and a "girls" club, and everyones scared to open themselves up to the other. the one exception being sluts, (guys or girls). why is that and how can we fix this problem?
2006-11-28 18:52:22 · 5 answers · asked by thoughtfuljon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I fail to see how keeping secrets makes someone sleazy. I think if the girl is laying it all out for you at the beginning, she may be attempting to appear vulnerable so that you will feel sorry for her. Maybe it is a way to manipulate you. Of course, people should be honest. Relationships are a lot simpler than people make them out to be. Why does a wife wonder why her husband cheats when she won't sleep with him? Why does a man wonder why his wife gets upset that he won't hold down a job when she works two to make ends meet and does all the housework? The answer lies in yourself, really.
2006-11-28 18:56:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess that some of this comes from the fact that we would like to be open but really can't afford to be. A sister or brother or cousin might play on what we say, or make too much of it, and always think of us in that way, and present us to others as their image of us. Even though we do change and grow, so much.
Can we fix this? Maybe, with good intentions, we can try. I think we can hope that we'll meet someone who'll like us anyway.
Every time we greet someone, we might make a new friend; who knows where that might lead us?
Let's face it, guys & girls must have agreed to differ about some things or we wouldn't exist now! We've already won : )
And, also, the whole fact of a secret is that there is one. Tact can go a long way until trust comes into play; and that does take time. But we all have time - decades and decades of it. There's no immediate panic, or why are we here?
We're all a bit nervous, but we don't live in mediaeval times - we can and will make our own decisions at some point. We aren't under any obligation to be grandparents, are we? If we think we are, we do have decades to figure out our candidates, or be run over by a bus. Who's afraid here? The others are on fast-forward - they have something else to prove, and probably a different deadline, biologically. Let there be no panic.
2006-11-28 19:12:44 · answer #2 · answered by WomanWhoReads 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes even i keep secrets from my bf whom i love which is ironic! he does not keep secrets from me! i think that guys just say what is on their mind even blurt it out but we girls do not want the other person to know so much about us so we reveal a couple of things at a time since if a girl just says all she has to say there is no more mystery! we girls also worry how our bf's will take whatever we want to tell them or are too embarassed to tell them because we do not know how they will look at us and react! we think 20 times before we say a thing and no there are no clubs as you call them but yes we confide in our best friends when times ge tough! if we open up ourselves we are scared that the other person will see us for who we really are and what emotions we feel vs. just hididng them as a guy or our imperfections! the only way we can fix this problem is through honest to goodness communication with no bs and no secrets and where you know everything about him and he knows everything about you!
2006-11-28 19:07:47 · answer #3 · answered by icycrissy27blue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what who you like to know about guys or girls about guys i cant/s tell you but girls i could
2006-11-28 18:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by EVA J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would you like to know?
2006-11-28 18:54:25 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋