i have been verbally engaged to this girl past 6 years who is staying abroad and who happened to be my relative too.we communicate via phone calls at least once a week. and last year the girl's family comfirmed again the engagement and make it stronger and scheduled for wedding in one year time. but during this one year i have fallen in love with one of my work colleague and had intercourse with her. she loves me too. initially it started as fling but later about 3 months back i realised i love her and and cant live without her.however last 3 months also the wedding between me and the other girl fixed and wedding invtations has been distributed and even wedding venue has been fixed. i broke off with my colleuge but has been missing her alot.we occasionally chat over phone and she still hopes that i would change my mind.suddenly i have no interest in this wedding but i'm goin forward with the plan because i dont want to let down my family, and the girl is inlove deeply with me.
2006-11-28 18:51:12 · 22 answers · asked by osteophytes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
H. I don't know why you have to ask what you should do. To marry because you don't want to hurt family, or to save yourself from embarrassment is ludicrous. No one should enter into marriage unless they love their fiance and plan to stay with them til death do they part. It is really not fair to your fiance to begin this union feeling the way you do, and have you even considered what kind of life would any children have if you did not love their mother. There really is nothing to contemplate. You should break off the engagement, stop the wedding and go on with your life. Marry only when you know you want to spend the rest of your life with the chosen one. Good Luck!
2006-11-28 19:08:07 · answer #1 · answered by sunshinesue_1999 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiance has 80+ family members in our country alone and I have less than 20. Weddings within his family cost upwards of $25,000. We do not want any money from our parents for our wedding and do not want to spend the entire deposit we have saved for a home on one day so I am doing an immediate family ONLY (plus my best friend who is more like my sister) wedding at a beach 3 hours away from where they all live - so that we have a decent excuse for why EVERYONE wasn't invited. We were going to elope overseas because we were put off by the expense of inviting everyone but this way is working out nicely as I still get to have my parents at the wedding and our kids and we can still afford a cool honeymoon after : ) It's your day, do what you want and have the people there who are most important to you.
2016-05-23 01:15:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always follow your gut. When I have, I was awalys very glad afterwards, when I did not, I always regreted it. It is always very hard to go against what is expected of you or break a commitment. However, think of this, what would happen if your finace found out about your affair after you were married? You know best which girl is the best fit for you. Follow your gut. Once you make a decision, it usually gets easier as you feel releived that the pressure is gone. Beaking off a wedding is tough but divorce sucks even more, and what's worse is being trapped in the wrong life. Follow your gut, decide, and go in that direction full bore~!
2006-11-28 22:11:41 · answer #3 · answered by cabriojazz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is how it works - you meet and girl, get to know her, you start to feel a warm friendship, respect and closeness and then you fall in love and realise that this is the person that you want to build a life with, your soul-mate and someone who you would like to raise children with and spend the rest of your lives together. You then ask her to marry you and if she feels the same she says yes and you live and work at being happy ever after. Simple.
Stop being bullied into something that is not right for you. Even if you go ahead, chances it will all end in disaster because it is not right. Be brave and true to yourself and it will all turn out alright. Just make sure you are kind and gentle to your 'fiance'. She is also an innocent pawn in this debacle.
2006-11-28 19:26:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have even the slightest doubt about your feelings for the woman you are to marry,then by all means don't go through with it. The important thing is your lives ,not the cost or embarrassment of calling off the wedding. It will save everyone a lot of pain by doing the right thing now wrath er than fixing a bad situation later.
2006-11-28 18:56:36 · answer #5 · answered by mopjky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's better to disappoint or hurt people now.......then yrs down the road. When children may be involved. I don't know ur customize but if u are unhappy in arranged marriage.....then she will be unhappy too. Look at Prince Charles and Princess Di.......he choose her because it was what his family wanted! A virgin from the right background, right family etc....he was miserable, she was put in a horrible, horrible situation......they wanted an heir. They got two......but a very special woman lost her life because she brought into a marriage that she had no chance of finding love in. What must her children have gone thru? Trust me better now than latter.
2006-11-28 19:02:07 · answer #6 · answered by texasue77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cancel the wedding. but remember that u have to cancel the wedding because you no longer love this girl that u are engaged to. i have a feeling that u are also not in love with this work colleague of yours. i dont know what u are going to do about her, but you should definately not marry this your fiance, because she will definately hate you once she finds out what you did. there is no way she will be deeply in love with u.
2006-11-28 18:55:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about letting yourself down? It's not fair to the girl your about to marry if you in love with someone else. Don't you think she deserves someone who will put 100% into the marriage? By the way why are you marrying your relative?
2006-11-28 18:55:34 · answer #8 · answered by D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider that you are going to be cheating this person out of a happy life with a husband who loves her simply because you are acting cowardly. Don't mistake this cowardness as some kind of kind gesture. You are doing her no kindess by taking away her chance for happiness. CALL IT OFF!
2006-11-28 19:42:17 · answer #9 · answered by xovenusxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't love her enough to marry her then don't do it. People should respect your feelings. You are going to be in a very bad position if you marry her and try to do the flings that you have done in the past. Break it off soon...
2006-11-29 04:10:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋