My Boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years now. He and I have been discussing getting married after New Years. and I am more than ready and willing to have sex with him very soon. He knows I am a virgin, and he's said its fine with him, that he respects it, but still questions are bouncing around in my head. So, please, ladie and gentlemen, help me out?
1. Is it a turn off that I am a virgin? (i know he's says it's not, but im curious as to others opinons)
2. How bad is it going to hurt? Be honest
3. Is it going to be a turn off if I am in pain? Like if I show it?
4. What's the best position for a first timer like myself?
2006-11-28 17:55:02 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I strongly want to recommend this web site, http://www.scarleteen.com. It is a sex positive site without moral judgments, just alot of good information about sexuality, anatomy, and specifically, the first time and what to expect. Another great website for all kinds of information is www.sexuality.org. You can do a search and get lots of articles that are actually helpful and informative and very open.
As to position, I would suggest that you get on top, because you can control the angle, the speed, and the depth, tho if you can't even use a tampon, you may need to do missionary so you can relax and just accept him while he does the work. Its also good to be facing each other the first time and really sharing something with each other.
How much it hurts depends on how much and how tough a hyman you have. Many women have broken it long ago either with a tampon or fingers or a sex toy. The most important thing is that you are really really turned on when it happens...the less turned on you are the more it will hurt. Therefore, you want to be really relaxed and having fun so you CAN get really turned on. And don't worry if you show pain if it hurts. You must be able to be honest with him in order to sustain a healthy and exciting sex life together for the duration of your marriage, which ideally, is forever. Open that kind of communication with him from the beginning and you won't regret it. Never fake it. If you do, nothing will ever improve and if you admit it later on he may never forgive you for being dishonest.
I have never met a man that thought it was a turn off that he was the first man to ever enter her. If anything, they LOVE The idea and every man dreams of doing a virgin. He probably feels very lucky. He should. Best of luck to you both and congrats on the impending wedding.
2006-11-28 18:10:41 · answer #1 · answered by Kaelen 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well, so far by reading the answers i am sure u believe now it's definitely not a turn off.. in fact, it's a turn on for some.
how bad is it going to Hurt varies, i must say that it's not only the first time that it will hurt, but it might go on for sometime, just don't let this discourage u, i'm talking from a very recent experience and i am telling u it gets better regardless of how often or how long u wait between sessions.. the best thing about losing it to someone who cares is that he'll be really gentle and will whisper in ur ears that it's gonna be okay.. and that really helps..
there's no shame in stopping every now and then to relief pain, and i agree with most, missionary would be the best position.
congratulations :)
2006-11-28 18:44:58 · answer #2 · answered by Deema 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. It's not a turn off. Quite the opposite.
2. It is going to hurt but it's not too bad. It'll hurt a lot worse if you stress out about it and tense up. Besides, it's a moment of pain and then it's over. Afterwards you will wonder what all the fuss was about.
3. You showing your pain will encourage him to show his tender caring side, which can't be a bad thing.
4. The missionary position is best (use lubrication).
Good luck. You only get to do this once.
2006-11-28 18:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by Bethany 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. No, not to him. He wouldn't be with you for six years if it was. But he is probably nervous about it, so keep the communication going.
2. Yeah, it will probably hurt some (it's different for everyone), but not a big deal. Just like a little cut. You just need to go slow, wait a few days after before you do it again to heal, and not judge sex by your first experience.
3. Don't worry, you're not going to be howling in pain. Just say what's uncomfortable, and know this is just a one time thing that you have to get out of the way. Marathon sessions can come later.
4. No special position, just slow and gentle and communicate. And plenty of lube.
2006-11-28 18:00:49 · answer #4 · answered by EQ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1)trust me...it is not a turn off. some guys may actually feel honoured that he is the first n hopefully the last man that ever touch you.
2) it will hurt a bit at first. if it hurts....pause for awhile n make out etc....that will increase ur excitement n u will forget abt the pain.
Making love is never painful.
3)It is not going to be a turn off if ure in pain. I am sure your beloved man will do whatever it takes to make u feel comfortable n enjoy the love making.
4)First timer...usually missionary. And then u can proceed to other adveturous styles once u r comfortable and ready.
Good luck for ur upcoming wedding my dear. All the best. And dont worry so much.
2006-11-28 18:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He loves you, he is not turned off by you in the slightest. It might hurt pretty bad, but it all depends on your body. And no, he won't be turned off if you are in pain, but if he feels bad for you he might want to stop at the time and try again later. That's okay, you shouldn't pretend it feels great if it hurts. Tell him to go VERY slow. Like molasses. Also, it would probably help you if he does as little "in and out" motion as possible, just gently and slowly get inside you, then rock a little bit while staying completely inside you. That will cause less friction and less pain. You might need lots of lubrication, by the way. Good luck!
2006-11-28 18:03:37 · answer #6 · answered by Heidi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK for a start its not a turn off at all guys love that they are your first.trust me.It hurt a tiny bit. He probably wont go for long so it will be bearable.It wont hurt like you think you probably would say it feels more uncomfortable than anything.Your first time wont be great so don't have to many expectations.Id suggest you dint go on top. The guy i was with wanted me to but it goes in to deep and that will hurt.so will from behind .So i suggest missionary (HIM on top)tell him to go real slow and be gentle.if it hurts to much tell him to stop.Oh yeah and make sure you have lots of foreplay because you have got to be relaxed.you could even use lubricant to make it easier. :) good luck have fun
2006-11-28 18:06:05 · answer #7 · answered by ness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all there is nothing wrong with being a virgin,2nd it will hurt ur first time but it gets better as time goes by it will probably suck the first couple of times u do it,but pratice makes perfect.3rd if he loves u he will take it easy and be sympathetic to ur pain..so i dont think if u show it that it wont turn him off.it might hurt him alittle to...as for the best position ur first time id do missionary which is the old fassion way...
2006-11-28 18:07:00 · answer #8 · answered by sweetlady38237 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 24, and still a virgin.
I've asked the question about it being a turnoff or having it be lame here, and the response was negative about the turnoff, and even encouraging for me to save my virginity.
I think, that if you are in pain, you should tell him, because it is YOUR body, and how is he going to know if you don't tell him? If he doesn't care, then he's not the right guy.
2006-11-28 17:59:45 · answer #9 · answered by ladyjeansntee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay girlfriend here you go:
1. No it's definitely not a turn-off..it's very virtuous and oh so rare
2.It will hurt but you'll get over it eventually...he must go slow
3.No it's not a turn-off..you're too early in the game to fake it
4.Missionary all the way
2006-11-28 18:05:34 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋