Why do I enjoy hurting men emotionaly?

Question

Hi, I am 19 and I have trouble with men. I like older men and am also sober for 3 years so don't like young men who drink and do drugs. I am mature for my age, work full time and think I am smart.

I have trouble with relationships. It is hard for me to commit to somebody. I crave for them to tell me they love me. I like to hurt men and make them feel bad. I cheat on them and play mind games. It depresses me that I can't have a normal relationship with a man. My best friend thinks it's because I had a very dysfunctional and abusive relationship with my father when I was a child.

I like two different men a lot. I know they like me a lot but I have cheated on them with eachother and told them. I know I can have them both any time I want, dont tell me I cant. I am told Im very beautiful. For some sick reason I like hurting them. I want to hurt them more but I want them to tell me they love me too. I know it is so perverse and demented don't bother telling me that. Whats wrong?

Answer 1

Oh man, I love it. Keep doing what you're doing. Eventually, you'll meet a guy with half a brain outside of his crotch and you'll get played like a violin. The best part about it is you'll think you're crazy in love and the guy won't give a crap about you.

Certain guys like me possess the knowledge of how to do this to a girl, but we don't out of a modicum of respect that we have for the decent members of your gender. Rest assured that some guy will find out your tendencies and turn them against you. I doubt you'll change your ways before he gets to you. Pride cometh before a fall my dear and if "I know I can have them both any time I want, dont tell me I cant." isn't prideful, then nothing is.

Answer 2

Having the power to hurt the ones that love you at will
is something to be afraid of.
The question you need to ask yourself is why you want
to see the hurt that you cause. These persons that want
and love you are not your father. If you are in speaking
terms with your father, please take it up with him.
Please find a way to tell your father that his behavior
towards you has affected the way you see men in
general. Please be aware that not all men are like your
father. You can not and must not take take out your
frustrations you feel against your father on inocent
persons like your boyfriends. You are being heartless
and cruel. Please know that this condition that you
suffer from did not happen over nite. I'm guessing
it was years of mental and verbal abuse from your
father.
You say you are told you are very beautiful.
Please know that you also need to be responsible.
Please stop being the victim.
Find some compassion within yourself and be kind
to yourself. Once you find out how good it feels to love
and be loved, you will know and exprience true
happiness.There is more to you than you realize.
I wish you good luck and happiness.





night.

Answer 3

Ok, well your best friend is probably right. But you are obviously not mature. You want to hurt these men because you are selfish. You should figure out exactly what kind of hurt you have had in your life so you can find ways to heal yourself from it. Remember a few things, you might be beautiful on the outside-that doesn't last forever. And some of us can see straight thru that BS.

Answer 4

The truth is that you really just want someone to REALLY LOVE YOU, the way your father didn't. You want to hurt men WAY BEFORE they hurt you. Problem is you're just hurting yourself with this behavior. Get some therapy and work out father issues. This will help with your relationships. Maybe just lay off men while you get therapy. Also look for a man that isn't JUST interested in you because you're beautiful.

Answer 5

Hon, you need to go to therapy. If you did have an abusive relationship with your father, than whether you realize it or not, you probably have a lot of hostility toward men in general. Just like men look for women who sort of remind them of their mothers (though they don't realize it), women look for men that sort of represent their father. If you had an abusive relationship with your father, you may be looking for a father figure in your life like a lot of girls do who grew up not knowing their father. Except in your case, your subconcious makes you want to hurt them like your father hurt you.

Ask on answers all you want, but this isn't therapy and how many psychologists do you think are on here? Little to none, I would wager. You need to get therapy so you can work out these problems. Knowing you have them is the first step, but you need to get professional help if you ever want a normal relationship.

Answer 6

I am sorry to tell you, but I think if you don't go to therapy, the problem will not go away until you get "played like a violin." It is a simple universal law, for every action there is a reaction. You might say "so be it," but I strongly recommend you to avoid the pain. You are still too young, fix yourself before it is too late!

Answer 7

your best friend is probably right and probably knows you best if she is your best friend. What the hell is with girls liking older men. It pisses me off. Sorry it just does. I don't do drugs and don't drink, in fact I hate alcohol and drugs. They are the reason I left my college. Why don't you go out with me? Oh yeah because I am a psycho venting my frustration on a friggin internet forum. yay. I'm just like most of america now. yay. I have sunk to a new low. yay.

Sounds to me like you know what you have to change, so just do it. All you can do is try to be nice to the guys you love.

Answer 8

Ur emotionally retarded. ur 19 and have been sober for 3 yrs that means u were a 16 yo drug addict/ alcoholic. u need therapy in a major way. u hurt them because u subconsciously hate ur self. I think that about covers it. BTW all of this stems from ur crappy relationship w/ ur dad.

Answer 9

first and maximum impressive, women human beings such as you scare me. i'm going to objective very, very no longer common to ward off you. That being suggested, I do concerning a similar factor. I even have continuously been pushed off to the realm, and my protection is to shove human beings away. I accomplish that in an quite adversarial way. i does no longer say that I get excitement from it, even though it provides me a delight understanding that I abandoned them until eventually now that had a raffle to wreck me. it particularly is the fast version of it. i'd propose which you seek for medical care until eventually now you wreck your existence. And bear in mind, what occurred to you on your previous, would or won't take place back. yet residing you lifelike it is going to take place is going to do no longer something yet harm you in the long-term. i've got not sought help, and that i'm very lonely. i did no longer have something as irritating take place to me as occurred to you, yet i understand what it feels choose to no longer have confidence human beings. My suggestion is this, be trustworthy with the people who you meet, and get medical care. The medical care is a waste of money in case you're no longer waiting. yet for the sake of the folk around you, attempt to be large. solid luck.

Answer 10

Sorry but you simply have a maturity problem, clearly. If you cannot stop emotionally abusing men, it'll haunt you later if you decide it's time to grow up.Don't mean to sound cruel, but you asked for opinions. Good luck.