I have a slight problem..there is a guy that i have been friends with since high school and we lost contact for over 4 years but now we met up again by coincidence and we have been casually seeing each other (friends with benefits) and before we started seeing each other we both agreed it would remain friends only and now he is wanting more (a r/ship) with me even though he knows i don't feel the same.How can i possibly let him down gently without hurting his feelings and remaining friends? (We are in our mid twenties.)
2006-11-28 16:58:47 · 12 answers · asked by Jonte` 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, neither of you truly knew where the relationship was going to end up. If you start throwing sex into the mix then the feelings involve get very confusing. I would say you are going to have to talk to him about it. Let him know how you feel and don't let it carry on any longer. The longer you go on with these feelings the more it is going to hurt him later. Stop sleeping with him for sure. He will decide if you are still going to be friends, if you were truly good friends he will probably come around and be friends with you again. It might take some time though. You might not want to date anyone else for awhile, especially don't introduce them if you do. Friends and sex usually don't end up with positives, but you might be lucky.
2006-11-28 17:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by bizzlelizzle4shizzle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at this point, there is no letting him down gently.
being "friends with benefits," some type of rule should have initially been established so that there would be an understanding between the two of you that the closeness that the two of you would share would only touch the surface of what a real relationship would have.
assuming that this had not occured, i think the best thing to do is to keep things real and put it to him bluntly. personally, if a girl were to sugarcoat an explanation as to why she doesn't want to be with me, or if she were hesitant to tell me the truth about how she really felt, id be pissed off. however, if i were to hear the real truth about how a girl felt before feelings of having a real relationship grew strong, id be much more understanding.
Tell him you love him as a friend and nothing more. also tell him that because you don't want to be his girlfriend, things shouldn't be weird and that you guys could still hang out.
2006-11-28 17:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by urbuddyjes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you wanted to be just friends you should have stayed just friends as soon as you added the benifits and casually seeing each other you should have seen this coming, as to how to let him down gently i don't know you'll just have to tell him straight up how you feel and hope that your friendship doesn't suffer
2006-11-28 17:02:44 · answer #3 · answered by zeppelin8_13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too late for not hurting feelings. Just emphazising:
a) Remind him about your agreement.
b) Tell him as soon as possible that you are not into a relationship.
2006-11-28 17:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by Camilo S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. You crossed the threshold or no return. Relationships, and yes you are in one no matter what it may be like, do not go in reverse.
2006-11-28 17:04:10 · answer #5 · answered by jonnyexcel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's too late to let him down easy. I can say that the sooner you let him down the easier it'll be for him.
2006-11-28 17:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by cannoninthehouse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol there is no way you can just let him down gently. its going to hurt so just tell him how you feel.
2006-11-28 17:01:45 · answer #7 · answered by emmabugg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reminding him the agreement you had.in the beginning.
2006-11-28 17:02:07 · answer #8 · answered by D.R.M.M's Fairplay's Man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop having sex with him and he will change his mind.
2006-11-28 17:01:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
" don't even try to be gentle...you are messing with male hormones ...they can not be negotiated with. tell 'em straight !!!"
2006-11-28 17:02:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋