I have been with my husband since we were 14. got married at 19 and now at 25 we have 2 kids with the 3rd on the way. I have always considered my inlaws like my parents since i have basically grown up with them. My husbands step mom always slides in mean comments to me and I dont know why. I have never done anything wrong. All i ever wanted was a great relationship with them. when we told mother in law we were preg with the 3rd (and last) she said it was stupid. I told her she must be calling God stupid since he created this child, all me and hubby were doing was having a lil fun. father in law thinks 3 is too much but over all seems ok. He has 3, all with different wives. Mother in law just dont seem edifying at all. I love them dearly and dont understand why one minute things seem great and right when ur least expecting it.... BOOM mother inlaw says something that ur like what the crap to. I love them but im tired of the comments. I do defend myself. what do I do?
2006-11-28 16:45:10 · 11 answers · asked by goober 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Girl, I feel your pain. Every year we spend new years with my in-laws and although we have been married 9 years, I still dread it. My main problem is also with my mother-in-law. I guess they hold grudges because we took their babies and are actually taking care of them and their grandchildren in a decent manner. I don't know, but I do know one thing. If you have to be quiet and turn the other cheek out of love for your husband, do it. That is what I do. I love my husband and his parents, but I am very strong-willed and a mother to a disabled child which has made me somewhat stronger willed, so I can put my foot in my mouth very easily. Don't allow yourself to be disrespected, but if they say something that irritates you but could slide, let it slide, in one ear, out the other. When you do have to confront them about something, remember the golden rule "treat others as you would like to be treated" and there is a proverb I try to follow "a soft answer turns away wrath". I have to remind myself of this all the time. Just remember one thing, don't let anything come between you and your husband and the harmony in your family (you, your husband and children) Take care.
2006-11-28 16:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by Beautiful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then we all have a problem now don't we? Are we willing to be treated like cattle by our own country, and negate our argument about how free a contry we are, there is already warrantless wiretapping, let's be careful how we bargain our freedoms for some level of security which may or may not exist, or at the risk of sounding un-original, we accept this we don't deserve either freedom or security to begin with.
2016-05-23 01:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like something my mother in law would say. Always some little mean comment. I think they do it because they get away with it. I know you defend yourself but than you stay with the family and don't just stop seeing them. I have cut off my mother in at times during my 20 year marriage. At one point I hadn't seen her in 1 1/2 because of mean comments. But she never did get it that it was her that kept me away. I just feel better about myself if I stay away. So in answer to your question. Yes I believe everyone has issues with their in-laws.
2006-11-28 19:22:26 · answer #3 · answered by goldensparkler61 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like my partners parents. They pretend to like me but then i find them calling me a b***ch behind my back.I have also had a baby with my partner and i can say his parents don't approve.Its not fair i know but as long as you love each other try not to worry.I think sometimes the parents don't realise that there sons grow up and have their own families. You are married to him not his parents.Be happy ignore his parents when they try and put you down.Make sure that you and your partner let them know that you are over the moon about having another little person coming into the world because you have so much love to give.that should shut them up.:) good luck
2006-11-28 17:11:57 · answer #4 · answered by ness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had a lot of issues with my in laws.Smoking marijuanna around my kids was the biggest issue I had.The only time my in laws wanted anything to do with me is each time they found out I was pregnant.My father in law actually came into my house and started degrading me for no reason.Except that I was folding clothes and wasnt in the living room where he was.So he calls me names.Its retarded.
2006-11-28 17:41:40 · answer #5 · answered by Sara Lee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has your husband and you spoke about this at all? Maybe he needs to have a talk with them. After all they are his parents and you are his wife. If it can't be resolved, stay away from them.
Unfortunately I have wonderful inlaws and dont have this problem, not everyone has inlaws that they dread.
2006-11-28 17:38:50 · answer #6 · answered by honeydoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think just about everyone has in-law problems, mine started when my husband and I got pregnant w/ our 1st daughter. I've talked to alot of friends and relitaves and just about all of them have the same problems w/ there in-laws. The only advise I can give is move as far away as posible and when you see her name on the caller ID, hand it straight over to your hubby. (works for me lol). Good Luck
2006-11-28 19:30:57 · answer #7 · answered by medleyc1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every one has some or other problems in views with in laws .But i thing 3rd child is not a good decision . if it is accidentally its OK but before planing i thing u must have gone through all sort of questions. u should have taken suggestion from doctors also. i thing seeing the problems coming up with new generation Ur in laws must have be comment on it , they too like you .but i also thing that they should also now accept it as Ur decision not keep on crippling about it now
2006-11-28 16:55:09 · answer #8 · answered by dilu 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just don't deal with her anymore. Stop talking to her and if she asks why just tell her that her comments are spitful and hurtful and that is something you don't need while being pregnant. Don't tell her off or say something back to her because you'll just drag yourself down to her level.
BTW yes I have issues with my mother inlaw.
2006-11-28 16:54:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well can you afford another child?? or are you and welfare already?? can you handle the two you already have?? or are they so out of control that you want to pull you hair out?? are you in a happy, safe marriage?? or are you in danger haft the time or on the verge of a divorce??
Other then that I can't figure out why anyone wouldn't be happy someone was having a child. CONGRATS!!
2006-11-28 17:00:08 · answer #10 · answered by Danielle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋