I believe I'm going to be telling my bf of 2 years that I no longer want to have s*x at all unless he's prepared to make sure we are BOTH satisfied. I'm so tired of having unsatisfying s*x where he's the only one who ends up being pleased. I'm tired of hearing "I'm sorry" and then he goes to sleep. And it's not like we go at it for hours. I'm lucky if I get 20 minutes of actual intercourse. Usually only 10-15 minutes. Sure there's foreplay, but it's all spent on him - he's got difficulty getting erections so I do all the work both manually & orally to get him aroused, then we go at it and he's been brought to climax & I'm left feeling WTF!!!
So guys - if your woman told you that she is not prepared to have s*x with you unless you were going to make sure she's pleased as well, would you agree with her or would you just quit having s*x altogether?
2006-11-28 16:31:57 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey Jenny - I totally agree with you as well. The advice about the toy - what do you think I've been doing for the past 2 years : ) I think it's time to change the batteries though.
2006-11-28 16:44:13 · update #1
Dante_cub - I understand what you are getting at & agree. But that's what I was doing for the first 2 years we were together. Being the nice, patient & understanding gf. Letting him know that it's okay, time after time after time. I've tried to talk to him, tried to get him to see a doc, tried to spice it up. I give up - no reward for me then no sex for him.
2006-11-28 16:46:29 · update #2
I was raised by a belief......If one is selfish then you should not play together. A real man would never allow his partner to go unattended. If he was of honor he would orally release you every time...because he has no clue and little self control his limp unit then could go in after you have released he will release in you as he will then causing you to then release again as his life activates your body chemistry. To give on every plain to feel cheated goes beyond sex.....He has no honor as a man. You are attached by his words or looks or safety. Your life is too short to look for a little respect to be used as a pawn. You need to teach lesson that are easy play with him until the moment and walk away...blue balls will remind him how weak he truly is.....to have endure such a long quest is ridiculous.....all fore play should be at least and hour with oral within that time so then you can then make love with meaning.....Your problem is deeper then his limp unit.....and your being used... I wish you the best
2006-11-28 16:44:43 · answer #1 · answered by wonderiswithin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here's my advice.............Toys!!!!!!!!!!!
You had fun playing with them as a child. You'll have more fun as an adult.
Sex for men and women is totally different but the goal is the same. Either way each person should walk away or turn over in most cases feeling satisfied. If you start putting restrictions...rules on sex you'll steer your relationship into a different dimension.
Your bf is probably discouraged and disappointed with his performance but maybe helpless to change. It's a physical issue.
If he cares for you and your satisfaction in this area introducing some toys might be just what he is looking for also. Think about it.
There are websites or possibly a local shop where you can go together and I stress together..........loosen up have a dink head out to the local "fun house" and find a toy or two to play with. There are also aids to help him prolong erection.
Sex really has to selfish and selfless at the same time.
Each person has to give the other what they need but be willing to ask for and sometimes demand what they need also.
Find a Toy you'll enjoy with and with out him
After two years it can be hard to keep the spice up in the bedroom. Have fun, add a new spark. Just approach him as "hey let's try something new" If he's not willing then it will at least show you he is selfish and maybe it is time to move on!!!!!
2006-11-28 16:56:21 · answer #2 · answered by Susan C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy obviously BUT it sounds to me like he is being a little selfish. He should make sure you are climaxing as much if not more than him. Why can he not finish you off orally if he does not get you there during intercourse ? I would definitely point this out to him and give him a chance to correct it. However if he doesn't, then yes I would not do it again until he was prepared to satisfy me as well. If all else fails, get him hard and ready to go... and then say " I'm sorry" and go to sleep on him so he knows how it feels.. GOOD LUCK !!!
P.S. If he wont or doesn't satisfy you... go buy a toy and satisfy yourself.
2006-11-28 16:40:55 · answer #3 · answered by jenny 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
okay why did it take you two years to reach this point of frustration. well honestly i don't think with holding sex is going to make the situation any better, it sounds kind of juvenile to me. maybe the focus shouldn't be all on him. maybe you're giving him performance anxiety. what i think is that he isn't taking your needs seriously since he's always getting his. try having sex where all the attention to satisfaction is on you. no toys or any of that. if he isn't willing to satisfy his woman, then forget about the relationship all together. the way someone is in bed says alot about them.
2006-11-28 17:13:05 · answer #4 · answered by likemmkay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if I was with you, and I cared about the relationship, I'd do whatever it took to please you.
That being said, be careful about giving ultimatums. Guys do not like threats, especially if the guy has trouble "performing" in bed. You run the risk of damaging this guy's self-esteem. That's why I recommend that you be positive. Approach him to persuade him, not to bully him into pleasing you. You'll get more out of him with a spoonful of sugar than with a spoonfull of vinegar. Good luck.
2006-11-28 16:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by dante_cubit_3000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would hold off on the restrictions but limit the amount of oral and hand pleasure. Spent time on top as it is proven to be very stimulating since you are more in control.
2006-11-28 16:35:48 · answer #6 · answered by aQTinMVny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll probably break up with you if you stick to your guns, but you probably won't and so he'll keep being a jerk.
I think you should dump him. Then he'll know that you broke up with him bc he's terrible in bed. If THAT doesn't change things, nothing will! And at least you will have improved things for the next girl.
2006-11-28 16:36:48 · answer #7 · answered by chelleedub 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've put up with that for 2 years? What's in it for you? Here's a restriction to try: No sex before marriage.
2006-11-28 16:36:14 · answer #8 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a excellent idea, maybe he will see that you mean business and he will seek attention for his condition. Let him know that you should be pleased also and if he doesn't improve his actions he can be replaced by another boyfriend that does not have that problem !!!
2006-11-28 16:38:24 · answer #9 · answered by carmexornothing 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't understand your boyfriend.
Most guys don't really enjoy it unless they know you are satisfied as well. I definately wouldn't be giving it up until he learns to satisfy you.
2006-11-28 16:36:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋