I made a girl pregnant. Now what?

Question

So I've been seeing this girl since the end of summer. Because I’ve been a little low on cash the past few months she paid for a train ticket so that I could come and visit her a couple of weeks ago. Because of her great deed I felt obligated to stay at here place for the whole visit instead of at my mother’s house as I usually do. This resulted in a whole lot of, I guess almost constant, bang bang if you know what I mean.

With no protection (yes we were both stupid but there’s no point arguing about that now) that bang bang session resulted in a very depressing phone call which I received for about 12h ago. So she tells me that she knows that I probably don’t want to keep the baby (damn right!) but she doesn’t feel the same way. WHAT THE!?!

All these thoughts are running through my mind. What about my education? My future company? My life! I am mature enough (21 years old) to have a child but my days and nights are already fully booked. How the hell am I supposed to take care of a c

care of a child with no money and most importantly; no really deep feelings for the mother. Well maybe the feelings will come later but I highly doubt it.

She knows about the situation I’m in right now. About the company I’m about to start and so on. And still she ******* can’t understand me when I’m telling here that it’s impossible for me to start a family. There is no friggin way I’m going to let go of my plans because she wants to have a baby or not wanting to get an abortion. Oh, and she works nine to five at a daycare center making a little more than minimum wage (by Swedish standards).

So I ask if anyone here has any similar experience to share.

Answer 1

I got pregnant at 16 and kept the baby! best thing i ever did. she is now 13 and me and her father are still together. It will be hard but you need to be a man and take care of her. you have a gift from God comming. I will pray for you , Go into the army they pay for all medical and housing and you will have a good life . remember this is a blessing not a curse in 9 mounth you will thank God for that beautiful baby in your arms good luck.

Answer 2

it takes 2 to make a baby, it's both your faults for not using protection when you clearly should have known better!
As for the child part.. it is HER choice whether to keep the child or not, not yours! It's HER BODY, NOT YOURS...
If she decides to keep the child and you want nothing to do with it so be it.. another dead beat dad in the world.. but you better count on paying child support until the child is 18yrs old! So you can support her decision and be a part of the childs life like you should and take responsibility for your actions, or you can be an a** and a dead beat no good for sh*t dead beat dad...

As for wondering how your supposed to take care of a child.. no one is completely prepaired for parenthood.. unless your a Millionaire...
Your just going to have to budget and prioritize your spending habits and needs.. that's that.
Do the right thing don't be an a** or a dead beat dad..

P.S. now a days if you don't pay child support and you have a court order to do so ( which Im sure she will get ) you can be fined and locked up in jail which will just screw you even more..
So make a smart decision and think long and hard about it before you jump into a decision about what you want to do.

Answer 3

You should have thought about that when you CHOSE to not use birth control. Now it's time for you to grow up and step up. If you are any kind of man, you will adjust your priorities and put your child first. You can still reach your life goals, but it will take a little longer and more effort. Remember that the child did not ask to be conceived, and shouldn't be a victim. Even if you and the mother choose to stay apart, you have a responsibility to support your child both financially, and as a father. In the end, you will be glad you did.

Answer 4

Make sure you do the right "math". It almost sounds she wanted to trap you and now she has. Get more information before making any decisions. This sounds like a classic trap sorry to say. If I was preg. and the father didn't want it there is no way I'd trap him. I couldn't make someone put their life on hold...a long hold cause I'm not that selfish. If I knew the father didn't want a kid and I did I wouldn't even have told him but would have raised it myself.

Who is perfect here? Everyone has made a mistake at least once in their lives. Ever hear of free will? You can't make a person do your will. He will do what ever is right by him and he will have to live with the consequences. The friend in my source, well the 13 yr old girl had the kid but the kid knew he wasn't wanted by his father and eventually committed suicide at 17. It was a bad situation all around, no one won out in the end.

Answer 5

You should put your education and 'future business' on hold and take care of the kid. Or, if you want, work with both the kid and your personal life. By the way, just because you are 21 years old doesn't mean you are mature. A mature person would have not had unprotected sex. So, I believe you aren't mature enough as much as you think. Be a man! Take care of the kid. Your kid's life becomes your life. Don't be selfish, and think of your kid. Your kid may end up making you proud later in his life.

Answer 6

Well that what happens when you think with your penis and
not your brains. You created a fetus now, you need to create
a new life with a new child, weather you stay in a relationship
with the mother or not. Start looking for a real JOB or you'll
regret it later on. Child Support is something you take very
seriously. Something like this is not the child's fault, it is the
parents fault for not taking better care of themselves before
having sex. Remember it's SAFE SEX OR NO SEX THERE
IS NO EXCUSE. Dude take care of your of business do what
you have to do to take care of your child. You can still go to
school and go to work, do what ever it takes to buy what the
child needs. Now it is up to you if you want to have a relationship
with this girl, if it is serious then go for it, treat her with respect
and she should do the same. Tell her to help you out. She can
get a job to support the child as well, you don't have to do this all alone, both of you created this child and both of you should
support this child with no hassle. And if both of you talk about
it then it will ease your stress. I don't know how your parents
will take it but if they are like me, they might get upset at first
then love every moment being with their grandchildren. But it
starts from pregnacy to birth. We just got to love the whole
thing. So have a talk to your girl, then both parents, Hers and
yours. My daughter had her first at 18, he was 21,(now 22 and
he's 25) Their children are 4 years old and 11 months beautiful.
girls. 50%Mexican/American/25%African/
American/25%White

Answer 7

Get ready to pay child support for 18 years at least, 9 months from now. That's enough time for you to look for a job and save some money, eh? Well, I admit that the both of you were foolish then, but well, sh*t happens. There's a lesson in life for everything we do, and probably what has in store for you is teaching you about responsibility. You may not want to accept the child now, but years from now, you'll be thinking of him/her for sure. Your education is no reason for your misery at the moment. It's just an excuse. Ever heard of govt funding, bank loan and sponsors? Research it. Good luck and Merry Christmas! Sayonara!

Answer 8

You have to do what you have to do to make this situation work. Alot of kids are born every day that were not initially wanted. Since you have made your bed, now you have to lie in it. Things will work out in the end....they always do.
Again you should have thought about this when you decided not to use a condom. The important thing is to not take it out on the child when it is born. It is not its fault. Just be an adult about it and dont make it worse for the lady, she didnt ask for this either.

Answer 9

Well the baby didn't ask to be here you were stupid and didn't use a condom , that is your child too inside her what you wanna kill your child cause of some company that might not even be a success shame on you BE A MAN

Answer 10

I don't think you should stay with her if you don't have any feelings for her. But you should definately be prepared to help out with child support.

Also you should have the child regularly so she can go out and have fun as well and the child will know his/her father.

It takes two to make a baby and if you're mature enough to have sex then you are mature enough to deal with the consequences.

Answer 11

i'm not trying to get angry but look, u were stupid enough to get her pregnant, u hve to live with the consequences. of course she wants to keep the baby. guys dont understand, i mean, would u really kill a living thing that was growing inside you, that u helped create and are now going to bring into the world? no, y would u?
u have a duty to this baby, even if it is just paying child support, or only seeing it on weekends, u have a duty. and do u love the mother or not? u said u were seeing her, but do u really love her? u need to sort this all out, and it will take alot of thinking through, but if it gets to tough, always remember that it is darkest before dawn