he has backed off spending as much time with me yet he does things for me voluntarily such as changing my car's oil/filter, etc and just bought my kids and me christmas presents even though i told him he needed not to (seeing me:from every night down to 4 days wk) i've been with him 2.4 years and he never has said he loves me either. he had a bad marriage and his family never says the Love word even amungst siblings/parents.(commitment is an issue i'm sure due to his past but i've told him its not necessary to marry me just if he could love me/maybe one day tell me the words) Any incite appreciated from men or women. Thanks from confused.
2006-11-28 15:01:38 · 11 answers · asked by uniquelyavailable 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
MAYBE YOU JUST ASK HIM.... MAYBE HE IS JUST UNEASY OR MAYBE ITS JUST A FLING TO HIM, BUT YOU WILL NEVER NO UNLESS YOU ASK!!
2006-11-28 15:04:48 · answer #1 · answered by xsplodeit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I'm sure he loves you or cares bout you deeply. Some people, and I don't know why or how, but some people truly find it difficult to express their emotions to another person. If you said his family doesn't say it as well, then there is exactly why he has difficulty. We learn from others when we are growing up, especially from our family. Commitment can't be that much of an issue if he has managed to remain in a relationship with you and your children for 2 and a half years....(?) I would talk to him on a personal and serious level, try to get him to open up (without putting too much pressure). Ask him exactly how he feels about you. Every relationship is about progression. If he doesn't or can't see any progression, then what is the point of being in a relationship...it's no surprise that the word "relate" is included in the word "relationship", you want to be able to "relate" or "connect" with someone. Where or what is it that connects the both of you?
I know that he does things for you and thats great, but don't misconstrue that as love, the only way a person can truly express it, is by saying it to you.
I hope that helps...good luck!
2006-11-28 23:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by kit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he probably does, or else he wouldn't be doing these nice things for you. Like you said, maybe he is afraid of commitment. If this is the case, give him a little more time. If he had a bad marriage, I can understand why he would be tentative. If he has a brain in his head he will understand what this means to you and one day he will say those words. As for not spending as much time with you, have you considered the fact that maybe he feels bad for not saying what you want him to, especially if you have been bugging him about it? Or maybe he's busy, it is nearing Christmas. I hope this helps, and good luck.
2006-11-28 23:08:47 · answer #3 · answered by Charlie Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married a man like that. He had built up this emotional wall that was more solid than the Berlin Wall! But in his mind, by his actions I should know he cares.
The more time we spent together, the more the bricks come down. I would say if you absolutely have to have the words spoken, perhaps you're with the wrong guy. But if you can recognize that love isn't always fancy words and cuddles - sometimes it's an oil change and hot chocolate in bed, you'll be OK.
2006-11-28 23:08:58 · answer #4 · answered by Dez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my previous relationship but maybe he's going through something. Struggling with his feelings for you he loves you cause not any ole man will stay in a relationship for close to 3 yrs. Stick it out a little more because you know where he's coming from give him space if you can to sort his feelings out. He loves you but based on his baggage and past he has a fear of hurt. Do all you can to not be like his family and show him love, seems like he doesnt know how to . Good luck
2006-11-28 23:08:05 · answer #5 · answered by zizi4me22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the lighter side...
How about this...
From now on instead of saying "goodbye" to him everytime you're hanging up the phone or as he's walking out the door, just say "Luv Ya!" and see what happens. After awhile, who knows, maybe it'll rub off on him. Then you'll get to hear, what you've feeling all along. :o)
Hopefully it doesn't tick him off. If it does, then stop!
Good luck
2006-11-28 23:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by Tricia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the true meaning of love is not in words, but in the actions he show you, the way he takes care of you, and just every little thing he do to show you he loves you.
but of course, hearing it is a bonus! it gives us assurance of what we see. but i think its better not to hear it but see and feel it, than hear it but you don't feel it.
2006-11-28 23:05:56 · answer #7 · answered by jen_good girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he knows what love is but, he does show you the way he was shown .... show him love your style!
2006-11-28 23:03:47 · answer #8 · answered by MagikButterfly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him..he's the one that will give you the real answer
2006-11-28 23:03:52 · answer #9 · answered by Jenny L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2.4 years and he never said he loved you... You answered your question right there...
2006-11-28 23:04:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋