How can I ask out a girl from work without coming off as a creep trying to pick her up?

Question

OK! I'm a 25 year old shy guy and there is this girl that I like a work and I want to ask her out, but I don't want to come off as a creep. I don't know if she has a b/f or not. My social skills aren't really up to par as they should be and I get really nervous talking to attactive girls. I see her passing by in the hallway maybe two or three times a week. On a good day, I can get a smile or a hi out of my mouth, but never had a conversation with her before besides something work related maybe once. I never know what to say.

I was thinking of taking orders for Starbucks one day and dropping by her desk and asking if she wants anything and/or take a walk down with me. Would this be a good idea or not? Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Answer 1

I know how you feel! And that is a super idea! Not creepy at all! Good job!

Answer 2

The worst thing you can do is admire her from afar and never fostering an environment where the potential for you two to express genuine feelings, good, bad or neutral, existed. That environment would pollute your mind, frustrate you to no end and, funny as it may seem, make you look weird to her (she'll know you like her and won't man up...eventually). You're 25, you will never have more sex drive, more teeth, and more importantly, less to lose! Start with casual contact, try "Hello!". Keep an eye out for opportunity...compliment a hair change, find a common interest. Starbucks, maybe, but don't pidgeonhole yourself, strike up a conversation and mention that sometimes you take a break at the starbucks, what does she do? Maybe you could join her if she doesn't like coffee.

Answer 3

Okay, here's the thing, asking a girl out should not be a big difficult routine. It should be simple and easy. The biggest problem here is that you've put this girl on a pedestal so high that no one in real life could live up to this ideal, but that's another issue. How to ask a girl out. First of all, it shouldn't be ASKING so much. It should be a suggestion. It's not "Do you want to go to the movies sometime?" This is bad. This lets people say "No," and then you might get very hurt. No, you should just try talking to her for a while. Then, once you're comfortable TALKING with her, you can say something like "Hey, let's go to the mall later and check out _______" Or, if you call her up, "I hate talking on the phone. Let's meet for coffee at ______" The point is that you're being confident and you're not giving away all the decision-making power in the relationship before it even starts. Just be calm, and try to be comfortable and then go for it. You don't have to freak out about it. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

Definitely strike up a conversation with her before you ask her out. See if you can run into her in the break room or downstairs if she smokes or the copy room, etc. Make sure it seems natural that you happen to be there and then ask her how it's going. Tell her your name, ask what she does or what she's working on. After that first conversation do it again a couple more times then say casually some afternoon (Friday is best) would she like to have a drink after work. Or you could see her at lunchtime and say you've heard this place ______(fill in the blank) has a great barbecue sandwich (or whatever) and does she want to grab lunch?

Answer 5

Ok, first off stop liking her! when you think of girls as people your not really interested in your more relaxed and you dont care what they think so you can be the usual charming, funny you. Soooo dont put so much pressure on talking to her! Ask her just random questions but be confident and nonchalant like did you see that new Borat movie? shell probably say "yeah me and my b/f loved it!" or she could say "me and my girlfriends loved it!" in which you might have a chance just take it slow buddy or if you want to start a convo just ask her sometime where shes from? thats always a great convo starter be cool, be yourself and relax, shes human too you know, shes not perfect, she poops, she eats, she puts her pants on one leg at a time!

Answer 6

Could be a good idea. Don't push her too much. I wonder if you know another female at work who might know her and would know if she has a bf or if she might be interested. Needs to be someone you can trust. Relationships at work usually turn out bad if you don't act like adults. If you can't trust somebody to help you without telling her try to become friends with her first before pushing a relationship. If you get a chance to talk to her a little you can find out more about her including thebf question. If she is not interested in you she will mention her bf very quickly. If you do ask her to go to starbucks with you or attempt to make another meeting don't get upset if she turns you down. It took my brother a year to get his wife to go out with him. They worked together and she kept turning him down. He did not push her or constantly ask her out but just casually made small talk with her and gave her a chance to get to know him. Good luck.

Answer 7

I think that sounds like a good idea. I think all different women will have different answers. I really know that I prefer to have a guy get some courage and talk to me if he has decided he is interested.

Answer 8

First of all - how big's your office ?? If things don't work out, or you end up getting embarrased or hurt, will it affect your job?? Generally I'd advise not to date anyone you work with....but on the other hand the worst thing that can happen is she says no!

The coffee idea sounds good.....go for it if it feels right!

Answer 9

U got the hard part over wit. U got her attention and she know that u exist. Simply talk to her to see what her thoughts are. Ask her what she does in her free time, what kinda food does she like, does she like movies? U broke the ice now jump in the water.

Answer 10

Your idea is excellent! Do it. Then when you go just be yourself. Sounds like your social skills are fine. Relax and enjoy the encounter.