After masterbation, I feel bad. Are these feelings natural?

Question

Sometimes after masterbation, I have felt a feeling of guilt, and wondered if this is just a natural thing.

Also, me and my girlfriend have decided to start having outercourse (you know what I mean if you've seen 40 year old virgin). I talk to her about what I wish to do, but then after doing so I feel like I shouldn't be, because of my consciousness. Is this natural as well? Should I just forget it and have fun?

I was raised to respect people, and I think that its holding me back.

I wasn't really raised to be afraid of my body, but my family did not really teach me about it. No one told me it was wrong, in fact, my mother told me its natural and everyone does it.

But since was raised to be a gentleman, I feel like asking her or talking about it makes me less of one.

I forgot to mention, even though I am a gentleman, but still perverted. When I act like that with her, thats when I feel guilty.

Answer 1

You are respecting her by discussin everything and moving slowly WITH her in mind. There is no problem with anything you are doing. The issue is what you were taught about sex. Were you taught to be embarrassed about your body as a child? To hide it, not to talk about it, not to touch it? I think that is incredibly unfair.
How can we love and respect ourselves if we don't love and respect our bodies.
We are not just spirits and brains. Our bodies exist. It sounds like you are experiencing things in a wonderful setting - an intimate relationship with mutual respect.
Leave the guilt at the door, but bring the respect to bed with you.

Answer 2

Yeaaa i used to feel guilty about it..but that was because i was a hardcore christian at that time....now....realized sex is a natural course of LIFE.....so as long as it's done within reasonable standards (got to have rules for certain things, it keeps people sane), have at it. By reasonable i'm referring more to sex, like doing it with someone you love and not every person on the planet like a damn swinger...but as far as what you do with yourself or your significant other....is solely natural and it ain't wrong....besides what better way to know what you and what you need than indulging in self-pleasure...cause if you DIDN'T know anything about your body..then how do you expect to please the other person..or explain to them how to please you? So HAVE AT IT...don't feel guilty, normally people make fun if you're a nerd with no woman, no life, and you masterbate to animal porn. But at home with your baby, or just when you need that fix...that's natural man....have at it and go do the d*mn thing....just don't involve any chickens ;).

Answer 3

these feelings are normal, until you feel guilty every time, which means you should probably either stop or ask a therapist. you may be thinking subconsciously that masturbation is wrong. Or you may be scared someone will catch you doing it. When you are beating off, concentrate on the subject at hand. Or imagine yourself having beautiful, meaningful sex. it works for me.

Answer 4

I know one thing you cant spend lot of time with your girlfriend and not masturbate. I think you are reflecting the value instilled within you. i dont know how old you are then I might know what answer to give. It ok to masturbate but ask yourself what prompt you to that act . well you maybe able to reduce how often you do the act. Let me tell you 99% percent of boys do it one time or the other.

Answer 5

Sex is natural.
What makes it so "guilt inducing" is how society reacts to it.
Masterbation is normal (as long as you're not doing it all the time!).
Your "consciousness" is another form of guilt.
Its OK.
Don't go too crazy though.

Answer 6

i think your just hung up on its being bad. its perfectly natural. And if your not getting any from your girlfriend you have to do something. better you fix it yourself than going out there and hurting women we've all seen that on the news. Just relax and no its not bad.

Answer 7

masturbation is normal....stop feeling so guilty. i'm sure its from how you were raised. just relax.

Answer 8

Quit thinking so much before you really screw yourself up.

Answer 9

it depands. just be yourself. dont feel guilty dude. your a guy. why still worry? be yourself and enjoy!