My friend is a (older) first time mother--her daughter is only three months old. She's had a rough pregnancy, labor, and now is having trouble with her daughter. We cannot relate on any parenting, pregnancy, or delivery topic. She's called parenting a disappointment and has also called her daughter a "nescience." I have, luckily, had a very easy time so far with parenting, pregnancy, and labor.
She told me today basically that it was not fair that my pregnancy was not at the "right" time yet I have had an easy time with everything. She was not joking. I'm a young mother. I feel I do things great--so far what I do has worked for me.
I've explained to her parents and children have different styles. I've tried to point out the good things she does. I've tried everything I can think of to make her feel better. Could she possibly have post-partum? I feel like she resents me for my accomplishments at a young age--in a sense things she has yet to do. How do I deal with this?
2006-11-28 14:48:29 · 9 answers · asked by .vato. 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
It's great that you care enough to try to help her. She sounds jealous of you for many reasons. It does sound like she has some problems, okay more than some. She needs to talk to a professional if she thinks her child is a nuisance. Sounds like a set up for child abuse in one form or another. Try to talk to her partner, maybe he/she can get to her if you can't. I'm glad you are doing well, keep up the good work.....
2006-11-28 14:54:23 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Post partum depression is real and she is going through a hard time. If there is a way to suggest that she seek therapy for this it will help her.
2) Offer to take her daughter for her so that she can have a respite.
3) Give her some space - seeing your success reminds her of her own disappointment.
2006-11-28 14:59:06 · answer #2 · answered by anirbas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your friend is not adjusting to parenthood as smoothly as she thought she would. This is common among some women. I would not assume she has postpartum depression, though she does seem depressed. There is a difference between the two. Postpartum depression is hormonal and can cause psychotic breaks. This sounds like a woman who is just frustrated by her lack of maternal instincts. If I were you, I would try to support her without rubbing your accomplishments in her face. Try to steer the conversation toward her and avoid talking about your own parenting accomplishments for a while. Hopefully with time she will adjust to parenthood and will come out of her funk. If not, maybe you could gently suggest to her husband that she recieve some counselling.
2006-11-28 14:57:17 · answer #3 · answered by writergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should maybe join a parenting support group or call a parent help line to chat. Sounds like post partum to me. Parenting and having babies is tough at all different ages. Just be a good friend- :)
2006-11-28 14:54:53 · answer #4 · answered by Branmuffin75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a hard time when your baby is small. I remember being a little overwhelmed with it all first time around. I think she may be jealous because your kid is better, but she just has to be patient and calm. Get help if she needs it. Get out of the house, and find a mother-baby group around town. It helps to talk to others in the same boat. Makes you feel like you aren't alone. Maybe find a mother-baby group and offer to go with her.
Good luck with this.
2006-11-28 14:55:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
rough...how about 3 months straight bleeding after having a kid??? Like me and it sucked, I was depressed and had a 22/7 crying and screaming baby to top it all off...ah well, hes older know and it went by fast!
I think you are a good mom, you are there for your child unlike a lot of moms...she sounds like she has ppd, and she is probably a bit jealous of you, but that isnt your fault...I dont know what else to say.
2006-11-28 16:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like post partum to me. And you need to chat with her so she can get some help and feel better. Poor thing :(
2006-11-28 14:54:10 · answer #7 · answered by Sweetpea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry on your loss. certain, that is accessible to wade through from submit-partum melancholy. You gave beginning, so your hormones are a touch loopy. I imagine that is puzzling to split the unhappiness over the shortcoming of your infant from accessible melancholy. refer on your well-being practitioner. sturdy success.
2016-10-07 22:45:38 · answer #8 · answered by genthner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like post-partum to me. And the worst part is that you don't reallize you have it until later on when you feel better (I recovered around four months and look back and think... duh!). She may be sleep deprived too. It takes awhile for some people to get used to parenthood.
2006-11-28 14:57:10 · answer #9 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋