How young is too young?

Question

How young is too young to get married?

How long should you date before getting married?
As long as you're mature, does it matter that you're still teens and getting married?

Especially if you've been dating 4 years and have known each other for over 5?

If you KNOW that you know that you love each other, is it wrong to get married when still in your teens, in the first or second year of college?

Why do people think it's bad?

Answer 1

I'm in the same boat you're in, wondering the same thing. I think a lot of people have it wrong though--there are some people in their 30s who can't handle marriage, I believe it is dependent on the two individuals involved, their love, faith, and commitment. I know it's rare for marriage to last these days, but too many times people just give up instead of working out their problems. It's idiotic to generalize that all 18-year-olds are too immature to marry and all 21-year-olds are mature enough. Everyone's maturity varies, and, like myself, if you've been dating the person for 4 years, you know a lot about them, and know, generally what to expect. It's ridiculous to set an age for anyone, to say "this age is bad" "this age is acceptable." If you both agree and love each other, and know you can forever, even when the "fire" burns out, there's nothing wrong with getting married.
A side note: My parents married when my mother was 17 and my father was 19, the weekend after my mom's high school graduation. They dated only 6 months and they are coming up on their 25th anniversary, still going strong.

Answer 2

There is no set age, but as a teen/early twenties, I don't think it's a good idea. One thing working against you is the "dating 4 years" thing. This probably means you have not dated many other people or got to experience what others are like. I have known many people who regret this later by ending up with their first love.

You may think you know each other really well, and maybe you do. The problem is that you don't know YOURSELF yet. As a teen and early twenties, you're still figuring out who you are. Huge personality changes happen during this time. The chances of one, if not the both of you changing in the next 5 years is high and there is not a good chance of you both changing/growing in the same direction. So the person you know "so well" may end up being very different. If you're soooo sure that you're meant to be and it will work out, then the marriage thing can wait.

Answer 3

You decide when you're ready. Just keep a few things in mind.
1. People continue to change for the rest of their lives and who they are now isn't who they will be in 10, 20, 30 years.
2. Statistics show that becasue of #1 up there that couples who get married before 25 have a much higher divorce rate.
3. If you are still a teen and have been with the same person for that long then you haven't experienced anything else but what you know...so how do you KNOW it is what you want?
good luck!

Answer 4

This question is different for everyone.

However, I think you should be at least 18 or 20 before considering a marriage. You need to have some financial and educational foundation beneath you before undertaking a marriage. Marriage is not like dating. There is a lot more of maturity involved, not only committment or "being in love". Marriage can be very stressful--so I hear. So I think you owe it to each other and to the longevity of your marriage to really develop yourself as an individual.

College will offer a lot of different temptations and experiences. Are you really ready to be married--and only know adult life as a married person? Being single in your late teens and early 20s have its advantages.

Regardless of which you decide, good luck!

Answer 5

Teen is too young for marriage. You are not the person you will be in 5 years and you both have so much growing to do. Neither of you have the education that will get jobs that will bring you a good life. You have so much yet to experience it is not right to marry now and cut both of you off from so many things you experience before you get married. If it is the real thing and something that will last, there is no hurry waiting will only make things better. If it is not to be getting married will not change that it will just make you both miserable for many years if not the rest of your lives. If you are asking, you are too young.

Answer 6

This is all IMO (and I know this is not what you want to hear) but:

1) I think anyone under 21 is DEFINATELY too young. Yes, 18 is legal, but don't you want to be old enough to consume, LEGALLY, at your wedding.

2) At least a year.

3) Teens SHOULD NOT EVER get married. Even if they think they are "mature" they really aren't. Face facts, the biggest growth a person will make is when they leave home for the first time and (hopefully) go to college. A person changes a whole hell of a lot between 18 and 21, let alone, 25.

4) Doesn't matter. If you aren't 21 you should wait. You really should wait until you are done with college and have a steady income, frankly. You don't want money issues tearing apart your relationship.

5) Again, I reference my last answer. No one should get married until they are done with college and can support themselves financially.

6) Teenagers think they are mature, but aren't. We've all been there. I know I have. It's really naive to think that you can support a marriage when you can't support yourself first. Point blank. One of the biggest factors that pulls marriages apart is money. You don't want that to happen. Wait for that first.


....One more note. I got "engaged" (and I use the term loosely) to my high school sweetheart. We decided to wait until after college to tie the knot. Good thing we did. We broke up when I realized he would never want to grow up, and I did. Plus, he cheated on me. To make a long story short, when people grow up they have a tendancy to grow apart. Sad but true. This is why most people don't end up with their high school sweetheart.

Answer 7

Well you can't get married until both of you are 18. If you know that you guys love each other and do want to spend the rest of your lives together, then do it. Who care what everyone else thinks. If you guys are ready then do it. Me and my fiance will be 23 when we get married. We have been together for 6 1/2 years, and this is what we want to do. Good luck in what you chose and let it be for you guys.

Answer 8

If you are thinking of getting married anyways, then why not wait? Wait until you are finished with college and start your career...why be married and still in school with debts? It just isn't worth it...it isn't that you're too young, its just that you have so much life to live before marriage.

Answer 9

I believe if you have known each other for four or five years and have a good relationship then go ahead. Twenty to twenty one is young but not out of the question. This depends on maturity level of both parties. Twenty would be the youngest I would suggest.

Answer 10

People look at teens getting married as imature and they are just babys and they don't know what they are getting themselves into and they don't really know what the true meaning of marriage is. You don't need to listen to them you only need to listen to your heart and do what you think is right. If you feel you are ready and you know what marriage is then go for it!! I started seeing my husband at 19, got engaged at 20 and at 21 was married. I am happily married and in the next 2 to 3 years we wish to start a family!! Just do what you think is right and don't let anyone judge you or listen to what ever anyone else says because it is you who will be getting married not them!!