what can I do about a mother that is constantly complaining?

Question

Short story - my mom & dad just recently split 6 months ago after being married for 40 years. She is a very depressed, negative woman. Nothing you do or say is right and if you try to confront her you are wrong. She drinks all day and is on several meds, including pain killers. She smokes more cigarettes than and outlet can hold. I have tried to get her to pine rest to get some mental stabillity but she refuses. She constantly calls me complaining about my father and how horrible her life it. It's a pity party for her every day. I cannot take it anymore. I have a husband and a 1 year old that needs me. If you can't do something for her it's "oh I'll do it myself". In a sad, depressed tone. She had a steel rod put in her foot and has a bad knee. So she can't do much, so she says. I've tried everything from getting her somewhere to calling her doctor for help. I can't handle this and I need some direction on what I should do with her. It's always easy to say but she still is my mother...

Answer 1

I really sympathized with you, because I went through a very similar and painful situation for many years. Unfortunately, that mental behavior will not go away. However, I learned that over the years distraction was the best "CURE" at least for the time being. I loved my mum more than she ever acknowledged. The difference between my mum and yours is that mine did not smoke or drink but the negativity and depression are identical. I once got into a traffic accident after we had an argument. I tried to help and did anything to get her mind distracted from her marital problems. There were times when she didn't want me to talk to my dad, it was awful.

After many years of pain I learn to live with it. I tried to make her laugh and took her out for rides. Distraction I found to be the answer. My mum died in 2000 of a broken heart, she never got over about my dad leaving. I hope my story hepls you. God bless.

Answer 2

First off, I feel your strain. Your area should have a behavioral health facility and you need to call them. Call the doctor that is prescribing the meds and give him the full scoop.

As far as the complaining, this is effective for me: Once they start complaining, cut her off and say, "What is your request?" This usually wakes up the complainer. Nothing, she may say? Good, let's get you to a health professional (don't tell her therapist, but that's a good outlet) and get some help. End of story there.

There are also some programs out there for seniors. There should also be a senior center near you. They offer loads of support for the senior community---from meals to events to support. Call them for her and ask them how they can support you.

Good luck and take care of you.

Answer 3

Get a list of the meds she's on, and also an estimate of how much she's drinking and let her doctor know. She maybe getting meds from several doctors. Good luck.

Answer 4

take it your about 17-19, i say move in with your pal and dont seek for suggestion from her, she will be able of finally cry to you approaches you want to go back homestead and in simple terms say to her " why so i will do each and every thing? iam an adolescent all im attempting to do is shop my grades up and make money so i will get waiting for school and all you want me to do is be your bi**h" dont be ignorant be truthful and get good to the point, 9/10 she will be able of target to reason with you and thats once you say, "mah i will clean and all yet end being ignorant to me and make me experience like a *****, you comprehend what number little ones commit suicide from stress....nicely you provide me a shitload. of route you ought to scrub and do issues on your mom reason....its your mom and she or he will pay for each thing, you'll see why she bitches once you advance up and characteristic little ones, I have 2 and its hell, residing on your individual isn't as exciting as you may imagine that's on your head. so prepair your self and love you mom, yet attempt what i suggested out with somewhat of luck she will be able of be extra lenient