Parenting question - Was I wrong?

Question

I always thought I was a lovable, caring mother, but today I'm worried.
My young daughter usually rides in a wagon if we go shopping. For one of the first times I didn't bring the wagon with us. My hands were rather full of bags, so I was having a difficult time making sure my youngest was holding the stair rails to the subway. I suppose she's not used to going down the stairs and she was a bit afraid, so she tried to sit down on the stairs. I held her hand but since she was trying to sit down it looked rather awkward. Anyway, the train was coming and I was urging her to hurry up. I finally picked her up and rushed down the stairs to catch the train. When we got down the stairs a lady said to me, 'Maybe we should call the police on you'. I was shocked, I asked 'Why?' and she said' I don't like the way you are treating her'. I replied 'I was just trying to lift her down the stairs'. I was so shaken. I have never hurt my children. I love them so much. Was what I did wrong, if so,how?

Just to clarify, when I picked my daughter up, I was actually holding her in my arms - not at all dragging, but the woman didn't see that part.

Answer 1

its not wrong but i suggest u bring the wagon everytime to avoid these circumstances...the lady thought u were dragging her along but ur not so i rily urge you to bring the wagon

Answer 2

You know you are no more guilty than most parents...you were in a situation where you were a little overwhelmed and maybe you were not the most patient or gentle...but it does not sound like you "mistreated" your daughter. Some people need to mind their own damn business...if that lady was truly concerned maybe she would have offered to hold some of your groceries for you. The only thing I could maybe recommend is that you set aside a little more time for yourself so that you are not in that situation again. Your little girl may have been afraid of the stair, but it is not the end of the world. Maybe if you get in that spot again, try to keep in mind that another train will come along in a few minutes.
Don't worry too much about this lady and her opinion...she means nothing to you. Especially, if in your heart you know you did not mistreat your little girl.
Keep your chin up!!!

Answer 3

Ya know.. THIS is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. Other people telling you how to raise your child. You are a great mother.. dont ever think that you are not. That lady had no idea what was going on in the situation that you were in. Lifting a child like you did doesnt do harm. If you would have SWUNG her around and started screaming at her, I might have thought the same thing, but hurrying your child, and holding on to her so she doesnt get trampled is NOT abuse.. Let it go.. she doesnt know what she is talking about. Jeez.. some people.

Answer 4

My dog used to get really overexcited on the leash (over gazillion things) and he would pull so hard he would end up with his front feet off the ground, so I would hold his paw to support him and let him walk like a human. Now he is a medium sized dog not the kind of little dog that is normally ok walking on his back legs, but he was fine. He would walk on his back legs to get treats and whatnot. I didn't walk him like that as punishment but rather to take the pressure off his neck. Still people would yell at me and threaten to call SPCA.

However other idiots would also try to pet him on the elevator when I would hold him in my arms and muzzle him because elevators freaked him out.

Moral of the storey: People are morons. You know what is best for your child, so don't let he morons get you down.

Another storey: A local dad was waiting for the bus with his son. His son was eating a gobstopper (candy) and it fell on the ground. Dad threw it away, but because the son was overtired he started crying. The dad just let him have a moment to collect himself, rather than comforting him which would have made it worse.

Some moron reported him to station security. Station security detained him and his son. They were holding them on the bus, but the dad said let the bus go this is crazy. The woman said that the boy said "I do not trust you, you are not my friend", kid was 3 or 4. Station security was demanding proof that he was the kids dad.

Eventually they gave up waiting for the police and walked over to the police station with security. The police officer just asked the boy who this man was, he said "My daddy" end of storey.

You are not a bad mom.

Answer 5

those people need to mind their own busineess. u did nothing wrong. no one is perfect. that lady is just a nosy busybody. what the hell, is the cops going to do? u didn't hurt anybody.

next time u go shopping and taking a train home just grab what u need so that your hands aren't so full. its a scary thing to be out in a subway and u can't make sure your kids are safe u know.

Answer 6

Lol i hate when people do that...butt there fat noses in it!! that sure will shake you up you know...ive done that to were im almsot shaking and in tears...and makes you question if your a good mom or not...im sure your fine....what you were doing she proably thought was that you were pushing her or pulling her to roughly either way what she thought is completely out of the question. Try not to think about it. i know its hard but in a few days itll all wear off and youll be more mad then anything. A lady at the mall did that to me when i had my daughter. My daughter wouldnt keep her feet on the stroller band thing...she kept putting them behind the band nad in return when i pushed her the stroller would come up a little bit. well i was getting really aggitated at her and i couldnt leave the mall til i found my freind so i kept trying to push her and some lady came up to me nad is like quit doing that to that poor child! and i just wanted to be like shes doing this to me! shes cried the whole day shes screamed the whole time ive carried her on my back carried my sacks on my hands and i finally get her in the stroller and your degrading me...but i didnt...instead it came out way worse..i said "Mind your own F Ucking bussiness bi tch!!! talk about a shocked look...i swear no one else was in the mall around us..it was just me and my daughter and the lady..and at one point i wanted to get in a hole and die. but i didnt its not that bad..we all make mistakes...i dont know why people feel its there place to put there two cents in it when your doing the best you can...llike i said in a few days itll **** u off more then anything....dont think twice about it...goodluck to you and your daughter:)

Answer 7

You did nothing wrong. Lot's of parents do this if they are in a hurry! I think that the lady is just ******* stupid! U are a good parent just trying to get ur kid to hurry up. Next time just try and be more gentle with her since she is young but don't worry u didn't do anything wrong!:-) Smile it's contagious!

Answer 8

If that were me I would have snapped her head off. I would have said "oh so you saw me struggling so hard and you didnt even come to help me out what kind of good citizen are you?" Some people are nozy and judgemental and should have some kids of their own so they know what is bad and what is not in parents. I would have told her to have some kids of her own before she opened her big mouth as well....I would get very defensive at someone insulting my parenting abilities if I knew that I did no rong.

Answer 9

You have done nothing wrong she is just a stupid lady who either dosen't have children or her children have grown and she has forgotton how hard it is sometimes when your in a rush. I'd like to know what she would have said about me if she saw me walking to school, trying to push a double pram and trying to manage to hold my 3 year old who was screaming and trying to run away because her flowers had died in our front garden. Just ignore her you know how much you love and care for your children.

Answer 10

Don't worry about it - you didn't do anything wrong. That woman is an over-sensitive nosy moron - your typical 'do-gooder' who is constantly sticking their nose where it doesn't belong. I bet she doesn't even have kids otherwise she would realise that you can't treat them like fragile china dolls all the time - it just doesn't work. Forget about her unwanted opinion and move on - she doesn't deserve the time and energy you'll waste thinking about her : )