My mother wants to constantly watch my son. She is very good with him, but is not in the best health. Physical or mental. We let her come to our house to watch him for a couple hours at a time, but will not let him over to her house now that my father and her have split. Her house is horribly smokey & she's constantly sucking down beer no matter what time of day it is. I do not agree with either and have told her. I feel bad because it's my mother and she loves my son to death. But I have to look out for the safety of my child. I just don't know what to do or say when she asks me. I Have told her over and over, no smoking or drinking. She swears she won't do either but how do I know. Plus she constantly complains to me about how bad the cartlidge is in her knee and how it's going to go out. That she can't work but 3 hours a day. So what makes her think she can watch a 1 1/2 year old that's all over the place? I'm looking for guidance on this subject - I'm running out of ideas.
2006-11-28 13:51:08 · 7 answers · asked by KP 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
one of the most important roles of motherhood is keeping your baby safe. thats what u need to do, do not feel guilty.
just picture this, her at home with a cigarette in her hand and a beer in the other, chasing your baby, her knee gives out. she falls the cigarette starts a fire.
trust your instincts, u r making a good decision. she can come to your house to visit.
2006-11-28 13:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by Miki 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your concern is genuine!!! Do you think, you could give your mom a chance to prove herself reliable or prove herself wrong??
You have every right to tell her you don't want your son around the smoke and all that drinking!!!EVERY RIGHT!!
If she says she won't drink or smoke with the baby in the house, maybe she means it. Maybe, you can let her keep him for a short time. Tell her you will be gone for 2 or 3 hours, then maybe stop in unexpectedly early. This way you can see if she is living up to her word. The again, you know your mom best...if she has a real problem with alcohol...I think you would know more so than any of us!!! I am sure that she would not purposely cause harm to your child but if she is drunk, she may not think properly.
You are really in a pickle. If you think she may actually be true to her word , it is worth giving her a chance. If you have seen that she repeatedly has gone sour on her word than it is not worth giving her a chance.
You really are the best judge of this...and at the end of the day, you are the ONLY ONE who is truly responsible for kid!!!
Good Luck and if you decide against it...more power to you!
2006-11-28 14:20:40 · answer #2 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough. Obviously you don't want to just your Mom's feelings, but you are doing the right thing. No matter how good she is with your child, you can not take a chance at leaving him with her, where something, God forbid, could happen. You just never know. I think you should continue to let her visit at your home where you are there as well, and the environment is better. Ultimately, if you do hurt your Mom's feelings, it is better that your son is safe and healthy. Good luck
2006-11-28 14:07:43 · answer #3 · answered by Jen M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reiterate to her what she's been saying about her knee going out. ask her what will happen if she's alone with the baby when it goes out? bring her to your house (where i assume there's no smoking & drinking going on around the baby) so they can spend time together under your watchful eye.
2006-11-28 14:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by L. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do whats best for your child no matter what... they say sometimes it better to be kind than right, however the key word is sometimes.. stop being co-dependant with your mom and look after the future of your son.
2006-11-28 14:43:24 · answer #5 · answered by Super 21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should tell her to take a lie-detector test(just for sure) and if u rily worry for ur kid then tell her:mom u r not healthy either in ur mind or body i just cant leave my kid with you im sorry /.Then when she goes sad hire a nanny that will stay with her at the house GL
2006-11-28 13:55:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is your child's health, sure you feel guilty now, but how will you feel when something happens to harm your baby???!! put your baby first and get him away from the chronic smoker/drinker
2006-11-28 13:56:10 · answer #7 · answered by nanabooboo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋